M 


90 


THE 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 


BELLE    OTIS, 


NEW   YORK: 
PUBLISHED   BY  KURD  AND  HOUGHTCXtf, 

459  BROOME  STREET. 
1867. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1867,  by 

HUBD  AND  HOUGHTON, 

in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  for  the  Southern  District  of  New 
York. 


RIVERSIDE,  CAMBRIDGE: 

STEREOTYPED  AND  PRINTED  BT 

H.  0.  HOCGHTON  AND  COMPANY. 


PREFACE. 


WHEN  I  went  into  business  I  had  very  correct 
ideas  of  integrity  in  the  abstract,  and  they  were 
onethodically  embodied  in  the  theory  which  I  laid 
out  for  practice.  If  they  have  become  modified  in 
the  use,  it  is  the  result  of  knowledge  acquired  by 
experience. 

I  intended  to  make  steady,  reasonable  profits.  I 
had  no  idea  of  the  fluctuation  in  prices  which  might 
interfere  with  my  purpose.  I  intended  to  represent 
my  goods  just  as  they  were,  and,  by  that  practice,  to 
obtain  a  reputation  for  reliability  that  would  com- 
mand the  respect  and  patronage  —  patronage  cer- 
tainly, that  was  the  essential  point  to  be  gained  — 
of  a  reasonable  class  of  people. 

My  theory  was  a  good  one.  If  it  was  imperfect, 
charity  suggests  that,  it  was  like  all  theories  formed 
without  practical  knowledge  of  the  subject  treated. 
Ignorance  of  my  own,  and  the  human  nature  of 


2072839 


IV  PREFACE. 

others  under  the  peculiar  conditions  of  trader  and 
customer,  helped  to  make  the  theory.  Experience 
very  soon  remedied  that  disadvantage. 

I  tried  to  manage  well  the  various  kinds  of  human 
nature  with  which  I  came  in  contact.  At  least,  so 
to  manage  them  as  to  enable  me  to  earn  the  means 
to  pay  my  honest  debts  for  food  and  clothing. 

How  reasonable  I  have  found  reasonable  people 
when  their  purses  were  the  medium  of  intercourse, 
my  Journal  will  relate.  How  reliable  I  have  been 
able  to  prove  myself,  in  order  to  meet  the  various 
exigencies  presented  to  my  management  by  the  va- 
rious characters  with  whom  I  have  dealt,  the  same 
Journal  will  set  forth. 

It  is  well  to  premise  that  the  differences  of  opin- 
ion upon  special  cases  of  integrity  are  as  various 
and  numerous  as  the  individual  interests  that 
judge  them.  And  because  individual  instances  are 
so  numerous,  investigation  must  be  confined  to  a 
limited  number  of  circumstances.  To  become  ac- 
quainted with  every  business  transaction  which  has 
ever  taken  place  between  man  and  man,  or  woman 
and  woman,  and  determine  its  moral  merits,  would 
require  more  time  and  wisdom  than  one  person  can 
conveniently  command. 


PREFACE.  V 

I  do  not  relate  what  I  have  learned  about  myself 
and  others,  through  the  education  of  business  trans- 
actions, supposing  that  I  can  work  reformation  in 
one  or  the  other  party. 

I  made  my  notes  and  observations  for  my  own  en- 
tei'tainment :  I  give  them  to  the  public  for  the  same 
reason,  or  for  any  other  which  my  readers  may  see 
fit  to  ascribe  to  me. 

If  I  have  n't  extenuated  the  faults  of  my  custom- 
ers, I  have  "  set  down  naught  in  malice "  against 
them.  I  can  say,  almost  unexceptionally  of  them, 
"  With  all  thy  faults  I  love  thee  still."  I  am  not  a 
solitary  tradeswoman  in  saying  that ;  most  others 
can,  with  all  truthfulness,  enunciate  the  same  senti- 
ment, so  far  as  the  society  of  their  customers  is 
given  them  for  purposes  of  trade. 

I  did  not  intend  to  state,  although  a  class  of  minds 
might  infer  that  I  insinuated  such  a  fact,  that  I  feel 
toward  every  one  of  my  customers  the  love  of  com- 
placency, that  would  desire  to  associate  with  them 
because  they  are  personally  agreeable  to  me. 

You  see,  by  this  example,  how  easy  it  is  to  give 
our  own  coloring  to  the  statements  of  others,  draw 
wrong  inferences,  and  come  to  irrelevant  conclusions 
from  forced  premises.  But  there  is  a  liking  neces- 


vi  PREFACE. 

sarily  engendered  when  association  brings  financial 
benefit  to  one  or  both  parties  associating  together. 
Therefore,  Mr.  Observer,  when  you  see  a  merchant 
pat  his  customer  on  the  shoulder,  plaster  him  all 
over  with  compliments,  and  wind  up  with  the  irre- 
sistible argument,  "  I  sell  this  kind  of  goods  so-and- 
so  to  my  other  customers,  but  as  it  is  you,  I  '11  call  it 
twenty  per  cent,  less,"  —  don't  mark  that  man  down 
a  liar  and  hypocrite,  fawning  on  his  victim  to  lure  his 
money  from  him  in  a  good  bargain.  He  really  feels 
complacently  and  kindly.  He  may  not  analyze  his 
state  of  mind  to  understand  the  cause  that  produced 
it ;  but  he  wishes  his  customer  to  be  in  receipt  of 
the  state  of  his  affections.  If  his  manner  develop 
an  unnecessary  excess  of  attachment  to  accomplish 
the  purpose  in  view,  it  is  because  he  is  constitution- 
ally demonstrative,  and  extremely  susceptible  to  fa- 
vors conferred.  He  may  indulge  his  natural  demon- 
strativeness  and  susceptibility  to  a  fault.  He  may 
cultivate  the  traits  till  they  are  ludicrously  apparent 
to  his  customers,  and  become  a  topic  of  discussion 
and  merriment  among  them.  Still,  the  vanity  of  the 
said  customers,  not  the  flattering  behavior  of  the 
merchant,  imposes  upon  the  understanding,  and 
leads  captive  the  credulity  of  the  sophisticated 


PREFACE.  Ml 

buyer.  And  in  contravention  of  his  assertion  that 
such  stuff  has  no  influence  upon  his  strong  common 
sense,  he  goes  again  and  again  to  purchase  where 
he  gets  goods  twenty  per  cent,  less  than  other  cus- 
tomers, and  affectionate  treatment  thrown  in.  There 
is  evidently  love  on  both  sides,  however  each  party, 
when  separate,  may  represent  the  matter. 

Without  apology  I  open  the  pages  of  my  Diary, 
and  give  you  my  observations  on  my  customers  and 
myself;  not  in  the  shadow  of  forthcoming  events, 
or  in  the  retrospective  reflection  of  the  past,  but  in 
the  unmistakable  light  of  present  transactions. 

I  do  not  send  them  forth  bearing  the  unctuous  in- 
vocation that  they  may  be  blest  to  the  good  of  some 
offending  sinner ;  but  I  may  be  allowed  to  indulge 
the  wish,  not  accompanied  by  the  slightest  expecta- 
tion, that  they  may  be  set  home  to  some  woman's 
heart,  receive  sufficient  attention  to  become  digested 
by  her  good  sense,  and  lead  her  to  think  on  her 
ways  during  the  performance  of  her  practical  duties 
in  shopping. 

When  one  submits  himself  to  reflection  on  any 
subject  connected  with  his  personal  habits,  self-edu- 
cation has  commenced,  and  the  most  difficult  step  is 
taken.  The  satisfaction  with  one's  own  sayings  and 


viii  PREFACE. 

doings  which  excludes  self-examination,  is  the  great- 
est obstacle  to  a  change  of  views  and  manners, 
where  such  a  change  may  seem  desirable  to  the 
view  of  friends  and  acquaintances.  And  the  desir- 
ableness of  such  changes  is  usually  far  more  obvi- 
ous to  observers  than  to  those  directly  and  actively 
engaged  in  the  practice  of  the  habits  under  consid- 
eration. 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 


I. 

APKIL  1, 18 — . 

I  AM  left  a  widow  with  the  necessity  upon  me  of 
getting  my  own  living,  and  an  abundance  of  vitality 
and  energy  wherewith  to  accomplish  it.  There  is  a 
something  telling  me  it  is  for  my  good  to  be  doing 
something.  Doing !  that  is  the  word,  —  let  the  ac- 
tion be  suited  to  it. 

But  to  do  something  which  earns  a  living  will 
mark  me  masculine  and  vulgar.  I  can  live  with  my 
relatives,  and  retain  my  standing  in  society.  Eat  the 
bread  of  dependence  ?  No  !  no !  The  bread  of  hon- 
est industry,  or  vulgarity,  is  preferable.  But  the 
world !  but  society !  Bah  !  what  is  society  ?  I  am 
society.  If  I  can't  make  myself  the  best  of  society 
for  myself  I  shall  be  of  all  women  most  miserable. 

I  am  told  that  it  is  not  genteel  and  fashionable 
for  young  ladies  to  work.  It  is  an  enigma  to  me 
why  it  is  genteel  for  a  mother  to  work,  and  vulgar 
for  a  daughter  to  do  so.  If  the  daughter  lose  caste 
by  being  industrious,  why  not  the  mother !  I  am 
referred  to  fashion  to  solve  it.  I  have  never  yet 
1 


2  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

been  able  to  pin  that  omnipresent,  intangible  poten- 
tate down  to  explain  any  ukase  that  is  issued  in  her 
name.  In  consequence,  refusing  to  submit  to  her 
administration,  I  become  a  law  unto  myself. 

I  decide  on  going  to  work  because  it  suits  my 
pleasure  so  to  do.  What  shall  I  undertake  ?  Shall 
I  go  on  a  salary,  or  engage  in  some  business  of  my 
own  ?  Why  should  I  go  on  a  salary  when  I  am  as 
capable  of  managing  a  business,  and  obtaining  all  the 
profits  of  it  as  the  one  who  might  employ  me.  But 
what  business  can  a  woman  establish  herself  in  ? 
men  monopolize  every  thing. 

I  begin  to  see  some  point  to  the  woman's  rights 
question.  Why  is  there  a  masculine  monopoly  of 
business  ?  Why  should  n't  woman  compete  with  man 
in  the  race  for  earning  money  and  getting  a  living  ? 
There  are  certainly  no  legal  objections  to  her  doing 
it ;  no  moral  ones  that  I  can  see.  The  chief  diffi- 
culty appears  to  lie  in  her  own  capacity,  or  rather 
lack  of  capacity,  physical  and  mental,  and  in  the 
social  atmosphere  with  which  she  is  surrounded. 

To  be  sure  woman  in  her  present  status  is  not 
fitted  to  undertake  all  kinds  of  business.  Her  man- 
ner of  dress,  and  other  habits,  would  make  it  rather 
inconvenient  for  her  to  go  to  the  mast-head  in  a  gale, 
or  handle  goods  in  a  wholesale  grocery  establish- 
ment. She  has  as  much  as  she  can  attend  to  out- 
of-doors  to  hold  up  her  trailing  garments,  adjust  her 
sun-shade,  and  make  a  graceful  appearance  in  the 
eyes  of  the  other  sex. 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  3 

I  can't  change  the  social  condition  of  woman. 
My  wisdom  is  to  make  the  best  of  it.  There  must 
be  some  kinds  of  business^  that  a  woman  can  under- 
take. 

On  thinking  it  over  nothing  presents  itself  but 
a  fancy-goods  store,  dress-making,  millinery,  or  a 
candy  shop.  There  are  but  few  kinds  to  choose 
from,  but  business  will  be  independence.  There 
will  be  no  one  to  say  me  aye  or  nay,  and  that  will 
be  a  glorious  state  of  existence,  even  if  I  flourish  in 
a  candy  shop. 

I  did  love  you  dearly,  Will ;  but  I  will  own  to 
one  decided  objection  to  married  life.  I  was  often 
obliged  to  go  one  way  when  I  wished  to  go  another. 
Every  woman  must  do  that  sometimes  if  she  have 
ever  so  loving  a  lord.  Perhaps  I  am  a  little  pre- 
mature in  exulting  over  independence  in  a  candy 
shop.  The  fact  presents  itself  to  my  attention  that 
the  circumstances  of  buying  and  selling  candy  may 
intervene  between  me  and  independence.  The 
thought  suggests  itself  that  the  circumstances  at- 
tending such  employment  may  control  me  with 
quite  as  irksome  an  authority  as  the  commands  of 
married  rule. 

I  wonder  if  there  is  any  position  of  entire  inde- 
pendence in  life.  I  can  think  of  none  but  that  of 
a  hermit  in  a  cave,  and  he  can't  be  independent 
of  heat  and  cold,  hunger  and  thirst,  and  the  provis- 
ion to  be  made  for  those  exigencies.  I  might  as 
well  rest  contented  on  that  point.  There  is  no  such 


4  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

thing  as  independence  without  some  qualification. 
I  might  as  well  accept  the  position  of  servitude  to 
circumstances  which  must  issue  in  servitude  to  peo- 
ple, and  then  how  fares  independence  ?  Its  existence 
is  among  the  myths. 

Looking  it  over  in  all  its  bearings,  as  any  prudent 
woman  would  do,  I  think  millinery  will  suit  me 
better  than  either  of  the  other  branches  of  trade 
under  consideration,  and  millinery  it  shall  be.  I 
must  go  into  a  store  to  learn  some  of  the  intricacies 
of  trade  before  I  run  any  risks.  I  must  get  some 
practical  knowledge  of  those  perplexing  phrases, 
percentage,  profits,  losses,  &c.  To  me  they  are  sci- 
entific technicalities. 

APRIL  2,  18—, 

I  could  cry,  Eureka !  I  have  found,  not  my  par- 
adise exactly,  but  the  way  to  it.  I  have  found  the 
first  stepping-stone  to  wealth,  and  I  would  say  in- 
dependence, only  that  I  am  a  little  shy  of  that  long 
word.  Not  because  "I  am  timid,  no,  no!  I  have 
never  yet  been  convicted  of  indulging  in  that  sin ; 
but  when  I  have  floundered  in  deep  water  once, 
and  failed  to  find  a  bottom,  I  am  a  little  cautious 
about  venturing  in  again.  That  is  what  is  called 
learning  wisdom  by  experience,  I  think. 

I  have  found  a  chance  to  learn  to  do  business  in 
one  of  the  largest  millinery  establishments  on  Wash- 
ington Street,  and  I  have  already  earned  money 
enough,  in  imagination,  to  immortalize  my  name 
through  thousands  of  succeeding  generations.  How  ? 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  5 

By  establishing  Homes  for  elderly  ladies,  Foundling 
Asylums,  Wanderers'  Retreats,  and  every  thing  else 
that  will  beautify  and  make  a  paradise  of  this  suffer- 
ing world. 

Plodding  women  may  sit  down  to  the  restraints  of 
married  life  in  order  to  obtain  the  remuneration  of 
a  living,  and  a  poor  one  at  that,  without  the  power 
of  making  it  better  ;  but  as  for  me,  instead  of  mar- 
rying again  I  choose  business.  I  would  like  the 
opportunity  of  spreading  my  individual  self  be- 
fore the  world  in  manly  —  womanly  independence. 
How  naturally  that  word  comes  up  at  every  turn  to 
bother  one.  A  woman  may  —  a  man  must  —  what  ? 
Spread  himself,  earn  money,  and  rear  monuments 
to  commend  himself  to  posterity  ?  He  must  go  out 
into  the  world  and  earn  a  living  by  hard  knocks,  or 
soft  knocks  just  as  his  lot  is  cast.  That  is  his  free- 
dom, his  independence,  and  circumstances  fetter  him 
to  it,  —  the  circumstance  of  choice  between  that  and 
starvation.  A  hard  lot  it  sometimes  seems,  but  man's 
occupation  in  life  is  to  get  a  living ;  without  the 
stimulus  of  that  necessity  what  does  he  become  ? 
Look  at  the  heirs  of  wealth  for  an  answer.  His 
pride  to  get  a  good  living,  a  respectable  or  luxuri- 
ous living  keeps  his  industry  in  exercise.  His  am- 
bition, which  sealed  his  fall,  stirs  him  to  attain  god- 
like heights  among  the  fallen.  Pride,  his  destroyer, 
becomes  his  savior. 

Man's  attributes  are  arranged  on  a  pivot  to  turn 
to  good  or  evil  as  he  wills.  Or,  if  he  has  no  moral 


6  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

ballast,  to  turn  as  circumstances  shape  them.  There 
is  very  little  difference  between  us  as  I  am  situated. 
I  feel  myself  in  manly  circumstances  in  the  regard 
of  getting  a  living.  I  can  also  boast  myself  in  his  in- 
dependence. I  am  at  liberty  to  make  my  choice  of 
an  occupation.  I  shall  be  independent  in  spending 
my  earnings  as  I  like.  Not  precisely  ?  I  am  in  the 
leashes  there.  I  am  hand-cuffed  by  the  necessity  of 
paying  for  my  food,  clothing,  and  shelter.  There  is 
no  such  thing  as  independence.  Yes,  I  am  inde- 
pendent to  go  about  the  employment  which  I  have 
chosen.  That  is,  if  no  sickness,  or  accident,  or  other 
untoward  circumstance  intervenes. 

APRIL  3,  18—. 

I  have  been  where  business  was  transacted  to-day. 
It  seems  strange  to  be  standing  behind  a  counter, 
showing  people  goods,  recommending  them,  and  tell- 
ing prices.  Eecommending  them,  —  that  is  the 
secret  of  selling,  and  to  sell  is  the  sole  motive  of 
standing  behind  a  counter.  I  begin  to  see  into  it. 
The  character  is  to  be  understood,  and  the  particu- 
lar motive  that  will  induce  to  buy  is  to  be  placed 
before  a  customer.  Some  expose  themselves  in 
every  sentence  they  utter  ;  but  not  every  one.  My 
art  is  to  fathom  the  motive,  and  suit  it.  The  hu- 
man face  divine  is  an  excellent  index.  I  find  that 
I  can  tell  by  a  glance  whether  the  article  sought  for 
suits  by  the  expression  of  the  face.  We  hear  tell- 
tale countenances  spoken  of  as  something  out  of  the 
common  way ;  but  I  never  saw  a  face  on  which  a 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  7 

tale  was  not  written,  and  being  constantly  continued 
in  one  life-long  serial. 

APRIL  4,  18 — . 

I  am  getting  on  bravely  with  trade  as  an  art.  I 
have  got  my  bearings,  and  am  ready  to  take  observa- 
tions. 

Out  of  the  vast  swarms  of  butterflies  that  have 
lighted  in  our  store  to-day  to  gather  ribbons  and 
flowers  there  were  scarcely  any  but  anxious  faces. 
The  perplexity  of  choosing  adornments  added  little 
to  their  charms.  Strange  how  the  workings  of  the 
inner,  stamp  themselves  on  the  lineaments  of  the 
outer  man,  or  woman.  Strange,  incomprehensible 
phenomenon  is  the  human  dual ! 

As  I  step  from  one  sphere  of  employment  to  an- 
other, it  is  like  going  from  one  nation  to  another, 
people  exhibit  themselves  in  different  spheres  so 
differently.  Is  it  deceit  that  makes  a  woman  appear 
to-day  noble,  generous,  disinterested,  and  to-morrow 
mean,  miserly,  hard  ?  No  !  she  acts  herself  in  both 
instances.  To-day  she  is  surrounded  by  circum- 
stances that  draw  out  all  that  is  noble  and  gener- 
ous in  her  character.  To-morrow  circumstances 
throw  her  into  the  mire  of  worldliness ;  cupidity 
rules,  and  drags  her  into  meanness  and  hard-faced 
chaffering  for  lucre.  God's  grace,  if  always  in  ex- 
ercise, would  render  her  always  the  nobly  good ;  but 
alas  !  somebody  that  dwells  at  the  opposite  side  of 
creation  from  the  Holy  Father  gets  possession  of  the 
inner  temple,  and  behold  he  possesses  the  whole 


8  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

structure  with  his  greedy  designs.  He  seals  the 
heart  with  his  seal,  and  stamps  the  face  with  his 
demoniac  stamp.  Self-ignorance,  and  self-righte- 
ousness complete  his  work. 

But  many  are  deceitful  and  try  to  appear  to  others 
what  they  are  not !  Certainly,  in  conventional  in- 
tercourse where  every  one  is  a  sham ;  but  in  shop- 
ping a  woman  forgets  to  hold  up  her  mantle  of  de- 
ceit ;  it  falls,  and  behold  a  naked  human  heart ! 

To  appear  good  is  the  effort  of  all.  To  be  good  in 
order  to  appear  so  is  the  effort  of  a  few.  Over  those 
who  try  to  rule  their  evil  dispositions,  and  stimulate 
their  good  ones  to  growth  in  contravention  of  circum- 
stances, circumstances  lose  much  of  their  control. 
Through  God's  grace  alone,  in  constant  exercise, 
can  the  demon  in  the  human  heart  be  made  to  grow 
small,  and  the  angel  to  grow  large.  Shopping  af- 
fords an  illimitable  atmosphere  in  which  to  exercise 
the  angel,  or  the  demon.  It  is  a  mixed,  muddy, 
confused  atmosphere,  and  the  two  spirits  are  very 
apt  to  get  confounded  ;  and  in  consequence  the  one 
gets  the  exercise  which  was  intended  for  the  other. 
The  one  being  arrogant  in  its  habits,  and  the  other 
retiring,  —  the  angel  needs  encouragement  and  as- 
sistance, even  force,  to  get  it  into  the  atmosphere 
of  active  life,  while  the  other  rushes  forward  in  hot 
haste  to  its  social  revelries. 

"Well,  as  the  ladies'  faces  changed  from  one  per- 
plexity to  another,  each  changing  emotion  adding  its 
own  peculiar  disembellishment,  an  ill-natured  sug- 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  9 

gestion,  which  I  long  ago  heard  about  the  beauty 
of  the  fair  tenants  of  the  "  Hub  "  recurred  to  me, 
and  I  thought  the  originator  of  it  must  have  been 
a  milliner,  or  some  other  trades-person.  Viewed  in 
the  light  of  trade  —  I  say  it  to  you  my  Diary  in 
confidence  —  their  reputation  for  plainness  is  based 
upon  a  foundation  which  will  last  through  all  time, 
and  remain  impregnable  to  all  assaults,  —  i.  e.  the 
truth. 

Some  countenances  became  thoroughly  repulsive 
under  the  influence  of  contending  emotions,  —  anx- 
iety to  obtain  something  to  modify  natural  asperities, 
and  fear  of  parting  with  the  money  to  pay  for  it. 

The  prominent  feature  in  to-day's  trade  has  been 
the  surprise  expressed  at  the  rise  in  prices.  The  war 
has  raised  the  price  of  bonnets  as  well  as  of  every 
thing  else,  and  it  is  like  a  drama  to  witness  the  con- 
tortions, and  hear  the  exclamations  of  a  novice  in 
he  present  era  of  shopping. 

"  Oh  my  soul !  what  a  price  !  "  with  elevated  eye- 
brows, and  uplifted  hands  iterated  and  reiterated -a 
lady  to  whom  I  had  told  the  cost  of  a  bonnet  which 
she  was  examining  with  a  view  to  purchase.  Her 
overflowing  astonishment  continued,  for  some  five 
minutes,  to  find  vent  in  repeating  that  one  elegant 
exclamation,  "  Oh  my  soul !  what  a  price  ! " 

There  is  nothing  like  giving  a  lady  time  to  collect 
herself  when  agitated  by  an  unexpected  event ;  or 
rather  to  let  off  in  her  own  way  the  mental  gas 
which  surprise  or  vexation,  or  both  combined,  is  sure 


10  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

to  generate  in  her  gentle  imagination.  While  she 
occupied  herself  in  that  involuntary  employment  I 
very  leisurely  set  myself  to  observe  her  manners, 
and  analyze  her  expression. 

I  was  a  little  puzzled  to  understand  why  she  should 
call  upon  her  soul  in  this  surprising  dilemma.  If  she 
had  apostrophized  her  expensive  head,  instead  of  the 
spiritual  element  of  her  constituency,  I  could  have 
readily  understood  the  connection  between  the  object 
of  her  indignation  and  the  expression  of  it.  But 
the  immortal,  just  at  that  moment,  was  the  element 
of  her  duality  which  had  the  least  interest  in  her 
employment.  Not  one  penny  was  in  consideration  for 
its  adorning,  however  important  she  might  consider 
attention  to  its  concerns  in  the  abstract  to  be. 

As  attention  to  the  concerns  of  the  soul  are  no 
part  of  the  millinery  business,  I  did  n't  see  fit  to 
remind  her  of  the  misnomer  which  she  had  com- 
mitted. Such  a  digression  might  have  interfered 
with  my  opportunity  of  selling  her  a  bonnet,  or  to 
a  rapid  consummation  of  that  prospective  event ;  so 
I  quietly  remarked,  — 

"  We  consider  that  a  very  reasonable  price  for  the 
times." 

"  Reasonable  !  "  she  echoed ;  "  was  there  ever  any 
reason  in  the  price  of  a  milliner  ?  " 

I  saw  then,  distinctly,  that  her  indignation  was  di- 
rected, not  towards  the  soul  she  had  adjured,  or  the 
offending  head  which  had  suggested  itself  to  my 
thoughts  as  a  very  proper  object  of  wrath,  in  view 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  11 

of  its  misdemeanors  in  making  trouble  and  expense  ; 
but  toward  the  offending  craft  to  which  I  had  at- 
tached myself  with  such  brilliant  expectations. 

My  will  was  roused  by  what  I  considered  the  un- 
called-for explosion.  I,  at  least,  was  no  culprit,  and 
deserved  no  such  accusations.  I  decided  in  my  own 
mind  that  she  would  in  all  probability  buy  that 
bonnet,  and  pay  the  price  I  asked  her.  My  wisdom 
was  to  conceal  the  conclusion  I  had  reached,  and 
also  the  line  of  policy  I  had  decided  to  pursue  in 
order  to  accomplish  my  object.  Was  I  deceitful  ? 
No !  only  exercising  proper  caution.  Mine  was  a 
cool,  calculating  retaliation,  far  more  culpable  than 
the  hasty  anger  that  excited  it,  —  perhaps.  At  first 
I  wished  to  sell  the  bonnet ;  her  last  expression  de- 
termined me  to  do  it. 

I  wonder  if  the  inner  emotions,  which  I  then  en- 
tertained, were  the  workings  of  the  inner  life  of 
which  poets  sing.  If  so,  the  inner  singing  may  be- 
come any  thing  but  musical.  Mine  was  any  thing 
but  music  at  that  moment,  but  I  spoke  blandly. 

"  The  bonnet  is  well  suited  to  your  complexion 
and  figure,"  was  the  exordium  to  my  design.  I  saw 
that  it  took.  The  exordium,  or  the  bonnet,  I  did  n't 
know  which,  nor  did  it  matter  so  long  as  her  fancy 
was  captivated.  I  went  on  to  arrange  my  peroration 
as  skillfully  as  possible  to  consummate  my  sale.  I 
must  arouse  no  opposition  by  contradicting  her  es- 
tablished idea  of  high  prices,  but  conciliate  by  fall- 
ing in  with  it,  so  I  said,  in  a  sympathetic  tone,  "  You 


12  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

are  correct.  The  price  is  high  compared  with  what 
it  would  have  been  a  year  ago."  Now  her  fears 
must  be  aroused,  and  worked  upon,  of  suffering  still 
more  in  her  purse  by  delay  to  purchase.  I  added, 
"  But  not  so  high  as  it  will  inevitably  be  in  a  few 
days.  Prices  have  gone  up  surprisingly  within  the 
last  twenty-four  hours." 

"  So  I  've  heard,"  she  replied,  "  and  I  've  come 
out  to  see  what  I  can  do  for  myself." 

I  saw  I  had  my  finger  on  the  right  key,  and  I 
pressed  a  little  harder.  "  Government  expenses 
must  increase  —  taxes  must  be  heavier  in  order  to 
pay  them  —  goods  must  necessarily  be  higher  —  it 
is  wisdom  to  buy  now  if  you  can  find  what  is  suited 
to  you,  and  that  bonnet  is  just  the  thing  ! " 

"  So  my  husband  says,  —  he  is  in  business,"  she 
replied  thoughtfully.  I  saw  that  I  nearly  had  her,  so 
I  continued  to  enlarge  upon  the  basis  of  her  fears, 
till  I  really  made  the  poor  little  financier  think  if 
she  waited  another  day,  or  even  took  time  to  "  look," 
prices  would  outstrip  her  in  travelling  upward,  and 
she  would  be  obliged  to  pay  much  more  than  I 
asked  her  for  that  bonnet,  for  a  poorer  one.  I  "be- 
gin to  see  into  the  art  of  getting  up  a  panic. 

"  I  like  the  bonnet  —  but,  oh  my  soul !  what  a 
price !  " 

"  It  is  a  great  price,"  I  replied  slowly ;  «  but  it 
may  be  greater."  I  was  willing  to  give  line  upon 
line  and  precept  upon  precept,  both  here  and  there 
in  abundance,  in  order  to  accomplish  my  object.  I 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  13 

went  over  the  whole  ground  of  the  probable,  inevi- 
table rise  of  goods  again  with  admirable  patience,  — 
admirable  to  myself,  —  there  was  no  one  else  to  ad- 
mire. 

While  I  was  admiring  myself,  and  talking  to  her, 
I  was  still  accomplishing  a  process  of  observation 
upon  what  I  heard,  and  was  engaged  in.  Life  is 
twofold,  dual,  the  Swedenborgians  have  it.  I  have 
established  it  to  be  three. 

The  lady  I  was  selling  the  bonnet  to  was  living 
the  twofold  life.  The  inner  lay  within  the  purse, 
and  the  outer  consisted  of  calculations  to  adorn  the 
outer  woman  —  man  and  woman  being  in  the  gen- 
eric sense  considered  one  person  in  this  connec- 
tion. Such  a  platitude  can  hardly  be  called  a  candid 
propounding  of  the  Swedenborgian  doctrine  of  dual 
life. 

I  shall  be  unable  to  class  my  threefold  existence, 
which  I  am  confident  was  in  operation  at  the  time, 
in  any  system  of  theology  with  which  I  am  ac- 
quainted. It  may  possibly  come  under  some  head 
of  metaphysics  ;  but  what  head  I  have  n't  time  just 
now  to  examine. 

While  I  was  enlarging  upon  the  profitable  opera- 
tion of  purchasing  immediately,  profitable  to  her  if 
she  bought  the  bonnet,  I  could  hardly  be  supposed, 
under  the  circumstances,  to  be  managing  for  any 
one  else.  Wonderful  disinterestedness !  how  the 
newspapers  would  magnify  such  an  item  if  they 
got  hold  of  it  I  was  getting  up  a  little  episode 


14  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

within  my  third  self  by  way  of  retaliation  for  the 
thrust  she  gave  my  chosen  craft  at  the  commence- 
ment of  her  trade. 

It  was  a  spiteful  little  episode,  but  it  proved  a 
wonderful  counter  irritant  in  relieving  the  words  I 
saw  fit  to  utter  pleasantly.  It  was  got  up  in  this 
wise.  It  is  our  business ;  and  your  object,  just  now, 
to  attend  to  the  adorning  of  your  earthly  taber- 
nacle. As  for  the  tricking  out  of  your  immortal 
soul,  it  will  take  something  more  than  flowers  and 
laces  and  ribbons  to  make  it  presentable  in  the 
society  of  those  who  will  be  judges  of  its  beauty. 

When  you  reach  those  altitudes  I  may  be  called 
upon  to  give  attention  to  very  important  business 
of  my  own  so  that  I  cannot  notice  you  at  all ;  but 
I  feel  it  to  be  my  privilege,  just  now,  to  exercise  all 
the  functions  of  the  inner  life  toward  you. 

Patience  and  persistence  prevailed.  I  sold  her 
the  bonnet. 


II. 

APRIL  10, 18 — . 

THE  book,  in  the  Book  of  books,  which  recom- 
mends itself  to  a  person  in  trade  on  account  of  its  . 
peculiar  adaptation  to  his  moral  necessities,  as  an 
example  and  teacher,  is  the  one  which  recounts  the 
crosses,  and  the  fortitude  with  which  they  were 
borne,  of  that  inimitable  patriarch  whose  given 
and  family  name  are  comprised  in  that  of  Job. 

The  name  indicates  to  every  hearer,  when  used, 
that  moral  quality  denominated  patience.  In  order 
to  set  forth  the  character,  and  distinguish  from  other 
virtues  or  religious  attainments  the  extent  of  it  de- 
sirable to  be  obtained  in  order  to  sustain  the  trader 
under  his  annoyances,  an  infant  designed  for  busi- 
ness employment  might  as  well  be  presented  at  the 
font  under  the  compound  name  of  Job  Job.  The 
significance  of  such  an  act  to  point  at  the  truth 
that  a  double  portion  of  the  saintly  virtue  which  dis- 
tinguished his  renowned  and  immortal  prototype  is 
invited,  through  the  sacrament  celebrated,  to  per- 
meate his  moral  constitution  in  infancy,  so  that  it 
may  grow  with  his  growth  and  strengthen  with  his 
strength.  The  utility  of  such  a  proceeding  would 
scarcely  be  questioned  by  the  said  trader  presump- 


16  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

live  when  he  has  arrived  at  manhood,  and  entered 
upon  his  labors,  i.  e.,  if  he  intends  to  trade  honestly. 

After  the  trader  presumptive  is  old  enough,  he 
might  with  profit  be  sent  to  school  where  a  session 
was  held  every  day  to  investigate  the  moral  construc- 
tion of  the  aforesaid  patriarch's  character.  In  order 
to  obtain  the  full  benefit  of  such  an  arrangement, 
this  exercise  ought  to  be  continued,  without  the  in- 
•terruption  of  holidays,  so  that  the  stream  of  fitting 
instruction  for  after  life  may  remain  unbroken. 

It  would  be  indispensable  to  continue  the  exercise 
after  he  has  entered  a  store  preparatory  to  com- 
mencing business  for  himself. 

If  he  is  so  opinionated  (young  people  are  apt  to 
indulge  a  great  opinion  of  their  own  abilities,  owing 
to  their  lack  of  self-knowledge)  as  to  think  himself 
too  much  of  a  man  to  require  the  assistance  of  such 
childish  instruction,  he  will  soon  change  his  mind, 
learn  wisdom  by  the  things  from  which  he  suffers, 
and  go  back  to  it  as  the  salt  of  his  life,  the  only 
preservation  of  his  success. 

To  illustrate  the  importance  of  what  I  have  been 
saying  I  will  tell  a  tale  of  to-day.  Those  who  like 
to  turn  every  thing  to  instruction  may  whittle  a  moral 
therefrom. 

A  well-dressed  lady  came  up  to  me,  and  asked  me 
to  show  her  some  of  our  handsomest  bonnets. 

I  asked.  "  Are  you  looking  for  any  particular  style 
or  color  ?'r 

"  No.    I  wish  to  see  what  will  become  me  best." 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  17 

She  deliberately  took  off  her  own  bonnet  and 
commenced  trying  those  that  were  on  the  saloon  ta- 
ble. One  after  one  she  took  them  up,  and  put  them 
on  her  head,  till  she  had  seen  about  thirty  casting 
their  differently  combined  tints  over  her  complexion. 
She  invited  my  comments  and  suggestions  upon 
each  one.  She  viewed  herself  in  each  in  the  five 
mirrors  of  the  saloon,  in  all  the  various  lights  she 
could  command,  and  placed  herself  in  every  con- 
ceivable attitude  before  them. 

One  thing  or  another  was  at  fault  in  every  one 
of  them.  She  had  asked  the  price  of  all,  and  cheap- 
ened each  to  the  lowest  possible  fraction  for  which 
they  could  be  bought. 

She  then  went  to  the  side-table,  and  performed 
the  same  operation  upon  herself  with  fifteen  or 
twenty  more.  There  were  none  that  exactly  suited. 

"  Have  n't  you  some  put  away  in  drawers  ? "  she 
asked.  I  went  the  same  rounds  with  a  dozen 
drawers  containing  six  or  eight  bonnets  apiece. 

When  those  were  exhausted  she  pointed  to  the 
window,  and  asked  if  I  would  be  kind  enough  to 
bring  her  two  handsome  bonnets  that  were  hanging 
there. 

Something  in  the  inner  life,  probably  it  was  that 
attribute  of  the  dual  denominated  penetration,  ad- 
monished me  that  she  did  n't  wish  to  purchase  a 
bonnet,  but  was  seeking  an  afternoon's  entertain- 
ment at  our  expense.  Another  something,  whether 
it  was  a  spirit  tapping,  tapping  at  the  inner  door 


18  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

I  know  not,  admonished  me  that  there  are  times 
when  to  practice  the  forbearing  policy  of  the  re- 
markable patriarch,  of  whom  I  have  been  speak- 
ing, is  to  cast  pearls  before  swine.  Instead  of  start- 
ing for  the  desired  bonnets,  I  looked  her  steadily  in 
the  eye  while  I  modulated  my  voice  to  a  very  re- 
spectful tone,  and  replied :  — 

"  If  you  really  wish  to  buy  a  bonnet,  I  will  go 
down  and  get  them  ;  but  I  fear  they  will  suit  you  no 
better  than  the  others  have  done." 

She  saw  that  her  role  was  played  to  the  end,  and 
a  successful  actress  she  had  proved  herself.  She 
had  confined  her  audience  in  the  closest  attention 
for  about  two  hours.  The  other  two  bonnets  were 
beyond  her  reach.  With  the  most  inimitable  cool- 
ness and  unconcern  she  looked  me  back  and  re- 
plied :  — 

''  I  don't  wish  to  buy  a  bonnet.  I  bought  mine 
last  week." 

If  she  had  struck  me  in  the  face  I  would  n't  have 
been  more  startled  and  surprised  than  I  was  at  the 
exhibition  of  such  boldness.  I  could  scarce  refrain 
from  crying  out,  "  O  shame,  where  hides  thy  blush  !  " 

After  a  moment,  the  ease  with  which  she  had 
accomplished  her  consummate  piece  of  impudence 
moderated  my  indignation  to  a  sort  of  admiration. 
I  would  like  to  know  more  about  you,  I  thought. 

I  could  conceive  of  no  motive  that  could  induce  a 
lady  —  so  she  appeared  on  the  surface  —  to  make  so 
irredeemably  mean  an  exhibition  of  herself.  I  abne- 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  19 

gated  self  in  apparent  interest  in  her  affairs,  and 
quietly  asked  :  — 

"  If  you  did  n't  wish  to  purchase,  why  have  you 
tried  so  many  bonnets  ?  " 

"  I  wanted  to  find  out  your  prices,  to  see  if  I  had 
got  cheated  in  mine.  If  I  did  I  '11  never  trade  at  the 
place  where  I  bought  it  again." 

She  had  told  me  the  truth,  but  not  the  whole 
truth.  I  like  to  sift  truth  to  the  bottom,  so  I  pur- 
sued :  — 

"  You  need  n't  have  tried  all  those  bonnets  to  have 
found  out  the  prices.  I  would  have  told  you  that, 
with  pleasure,  if  it  would  have  given  you  satisfac- 
tion." 

"  Oh,  I  wanted  to  see,  too,  if  you  had  a  bonnet  in 
your  store  more  becoming  to  me  than  mine.  My 
milliner  told  me  if  I  could  find  one  in  the  whole  city 
more  so  I  might  keep  the  bonnet  and  she  would 
give  me  the  money  back ! " 

Shades  of  meanness  !  shrieked  the  inner,  have  you 
unlocked  your  gates  to  punish  my  ignorance  of  what 
lies  within  a  human  heart  ?  Ignorance  is  bliss !  — 
wisdom  is  folly  !  —  is  misery  !  Have  I  part  and  lot 
in  this  matter  of  humanity  ?  Let  me  hide  my  head 
in  the  sands  of  ignorance,  and  believe  myself  un- 
seen if  I  must  present  such  a  spectacle  to  those 
who  are  looking  at  me  !  That  was  doubtless  the 
condition  of  my  customer.  Her  eyes  only  were 
covered,  but  the  great  misshapen  body  of  her  moral 
deformity  was  looming  up  before  my  sight. 


20  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  Would  you  take  the  money  if  you  could  find 
the  bonnet  ?  "  I  asked  in  perfect  composure. 

"  Yes,  I  would  take  the  money  and  leave  the  bon- 
net, to  punish  her  for  talking  so.  She  deserves  it." 
"What  an  immense  beam  sported  before  that  wo- 
man's sight. 

I  had  nothing  to  say  to  such  a  proceeding,  but  I 
presume  she  noticed  the  look  of  surprise  that  passed 
over  my  countenance,  and  she  continued  :  "  I  have  n't 
worn  it  but  three  times,  —  once  to  church,  once  out 
to  Roxbury,  and  once  to  the  Museum." 

My  disgust  had  grown  too  deep  for  utterance  by 
word  or  look.  I  stood  "  stock  still." 

She  must  have  supposed  me  perplexed,  or  not 
quite  satisfied,  and  she  went  on  to  explain  her  mo- 
tives further.  "  Store-keepers  do  tell  such  shocking 
lies  in  order  to  sell  their  goods,  I  see  no  other  way 
but  to  keep  strict  watch  of  them,  and  bring  them  up 
to  the  mark  when  they  overreach  and  don't  tell 
the  truth." 

I  begin  to  understand  the  cause  of  the  antagonism 
which  is  instituted  between  customers  and  traders. 
The  sin  of  the  individual  is  visited  upon  the  craft. 
The  object  of  one  is  to  buy  and  sell  and  get  gain 
at  all  events.  The  old  Quaker's  advice  to  his  son 
being  put  in  practice,  —  "  Get  money  honestly  if  thee 
can,  my  boy,  but  don't  fail  to  get  it."  All  are  judged 
by  what  one  does  ;  and,  sooth  to  say,  those  who  em- 
ploy their  time  in  tracking  culprits  might  be  profit- 
ably employed  in  practicing  the  advice,  "•  Physician, 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  21 

heal  thyself."  Those  that  buy  are  equally  anxious 
to  get  gain  with  those  that  sell,  —  hence  the  con- 
flict. 

The  inner  dual  had,  all  this  time,  been  converting 
itself  into  an  alembic,  slowly  and  surely,  wherein  to 
ferment  indignation  and  wrath.  If  it  could  have 
generated  tribulation  and  anguish  for  that  woman 
it  would  have  rejoiced  in  exercising  its  capacity  at 
that  time.  Just  at  this  point  it  arrived  at  culmi- 
nation. A  moment  of  silence,  then  the  retort  emitted 
its  contents.  Not  in  a  fiery  stream  of  rebuke,  but  in 
cool,  sarcastic  inquiry  that  humbly  sought  instruc- 
tion as  to  the  quality  of  morals. 

"  Which  do  you  think  the  greater  wrong,  for  you 
to  come  here  with  a  lie  in  all  your  actions  —  your 
pretence  was  to  buy  a  bonnet  —  make  use  of  that 
pretence  to  steal  my  time,  which  is  the  money  of  my 
employer  —  I  might  have  sold  several  bonnets  while 
I  have  been  attending  to  you  —  or  for  a  store-keeper 
to  deceive  you,  and  take  more  than  a  reasonable 
profit  from  you  ?  If  you  will  explain  the  difference 
the  knowledge  will  be  gratefully  received." 

She  belonged  to  the  class  that  put  on  the  cheek 
and  push  themselves.  She  was  nothing  daunted  by 
the  inquiry,  but  with  an  impertinent  toss  of  her  head 
replied :  — 

"  You  are  here  to  show  goods,  and  wait  upon  cus- 
tomers. I  have  been  in  stores  before  when  they 
were  angry  because  I  did  n't  buy." 

"  Yes,  ma'am ;  we  are  here  to  wait  upon  customers ; 


22  DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER. 

but  you  are  not  a  customer.  Customers  buy  goods, 
and  pay  us  for  the  time  we  spend  waiting  upon  them 
in  the  profits  we  make.  But  you  came  here  with  no 
such  intention." 

She  did  n't  seem  disposed  to  pursue  the  discussion 
further ;  but  with  the  most  unblushing  effrontery,  or 
was  it  ignorance  ?  thanked  me  for  my  politeness, 
bade  me  good  afternoon,  and  left  the  store. 

Is  it  very  wonderful  that  store-keepers  become  im- 
patient sometimes,  even  to  rudeness  ? 

If  I  had  followed  the  bent  of  my  inclination  I 
should  have  caught  her  by  the  dress,  and  compelled 
her  to  remain  while  I  extemporized  a  short  and  pun- 
gent discourse  for  her  benefit. 

My  impromptu  text  would  have  been,  u  The  heart 
is  deceitful  above  all  things,  and  desperately  wicked." 
In  my  then  state  of  mind,  and  earnestness  to  sustain 
the  proposition,  I  might  have  exaggerated  the  des- 
perate wickedness  into  total  depravity. 

My  firstly  would  have  sustained  the  division  that 
the  heart  first  tries  to  deceive  itself;  in  which  en- 
deavor it  usually  succeeds,  having  but  little  opposi- 
tion to  encounter  from  the  person  attacked,  and 
much  necessary  assistance  given.  My  practical  ob- 
servation on  that  head  would  have  been,  Thou  art 
the  woman  ! 

My  secondly,  that  it  then  attempts  to  impose 
upon  others  ;  but  fails  frequently  for  the  want  of 
proper  material  to  impose  upon,  and  the  necessary 
assistance  required  to  insure  success.  My  practical 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  23 

observation  on  that  head  would  have  been,  You  can- 
not impose  upon  others  because  they  see  through 
you,  and  do  not  choose  to  be  imposed  upon.  She 
might  have  answered,  I  managed  to  do  so  for  a  short 
time. 

I  should  then  have  closed  the  exercises  by  sing- 
ing her  a  hymn,  composed  by  an  old  and  popular 
poet,  commencing,  — 

"  0  wad  some  power  the  giftie  gie  us, 
To  see  oursels  as  ithers  see  us, 
It  would  frae  mony  a  blunder  free  us." 

The  outer  life  made  no  sign.  I  stood  in  silent 
composure,  watched  her  take  in  her  phylacteries, 
and  sweep  in  studied  complacency  out  of  the  store. 

Instead  of  holding  the  meeting  contemplated,  to 
produce  her  possible  conviction  and  conversion,  the 
inner  dual  contented  itself  with  pronouncing  a  bene- 
diction upon  her  departure  after  this  wise,  —  "  Sack- 
cloth and  ashes  are  fitting  fabrics  to  adorn  such  in- 
ner temples  as  yours.  May  a  tender  Father  pity  the 
infinitesimality  of  your  morals,  and  enlarge  your  bor- 
ders, if  there  is  breadth  enough  in  His  grace  to  add 
to  your  knowledge." 

I  turned  and  went  to  wait  upon  another  lady  — 
lady  ?  —  woman,  woman  ?  —  female.  That  will  do. 
Who  can  wonder  at  the  scruple  ? 

"  Well,"  said  the  gentleman  in  whose  store  I  was, 
and  who  had  watched  the  whole  affair,  "what  is 
your  opinion  now  of  the  high  and  mighty  power  of 


24  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

urbanity  in  teaching  such  a  woman  good  manners  in 
shopping  ?  " 

"  She  must  be  an  unusual  case,  and  unreformable 
by  human  instrumentality.  Only  an  arrow  from 
God's  own  quiver  can  penetrate  such  ossified  selfish- 
ness, and  reform  such  unmitigated  low  breeding. 
Reformation  of  manners  must  come  through  refor- 
mation of  morals." 

"  I  should  have  sent  her  out  of  the  store  long  be- 
fore she  left ;  but  I  saw  you  were  getting  your  learn- 
ing." 

"  That  would  have  been  very  bad  manners." 

"  It  would  have  been  just  what  she  deserved. 
The  only  way  to  teach  such  people  any  thing  is  to 
give  them  a  sound  rating.  They  consider  stores  as 
benevolent  institutions  for  the  benefit  of  the  public. 
Our  time  is  nothing  ;  the  loss  we  sustain  in  the  hand- 
ling of  our  goods  is  what  they  take  without  the 
slightest  consideration.  A  sound  rating  was  just 
what  she  needed,  and  what  she  would  have  got, 
only  I  wanted  to  see  how  you  would  manage." 

"  To  have  lost  my  temper,  and  given  her  a  scold- 
ing would  have  been  to  put  myself  on  her  level,  in- 
stead of  bringing  her  up  to  what  I  consider  the 
proper  way  to  behave.  In  her  ideas  of  right  and 
wrong  seemed  to  lie  the  fault" 

"  Her  knowledge  of  right  and  wrong  !  That  wo- 
man is  one  of  Dr.  Willard's  prominent  members,  — 
a  pious  and  exemplary  woman !  " 

"  She  does  n't  give  him  much  credit  for  his  teach- 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  25 

ing,  and  it  is  to  be  hoped  there  are  not  many  who 
follow  her  example.  It  is  to  be  deplored  that  so 
many  religious  people  so  demean  their  religion  by 
their  every-day  behavior." 

"  You  will  find  out  how  many  there  are  before  you 
have  been  in  business  many  years.  I  have  some 
curiosity  to  see  how  your  high-flown  theories  will 
corne  out.  You  've  got  your  store  and  yourself  to 
support,  and  you  must  make  up  for  such  customers 
in  some  way,  if  you  do  it  out  of  others." 

Aye,  aye !  suggested  the  inner.  That  is  one  of 
the  tricks  of  trade.  Profits  are  averaged.  What  is 
lost  on  one  another  is  compelled  to  make  up.  That 
is  rather  a  one-sided  interpretation  of  justice  !  It 
must  require  a  very  nice  calculation  to  assess  those 
profits  if  it  is  done  accurately  ;  but  I  strongly  suspect 
that  those  who  trade  in  that  way  give  a  large  margin 
for  incidental  entries. 

"  It  is  true  one  could  n't  support  a  store  long  on 
such  custom  as  hers.  And  I  see  very  clearly  the 
difficulty  of  working  reformation  in  such  people. 
The  whole,  in  their  own  opinion,  need  not  a  physi- 
cian." 

"  Her  kind  of  religion  is  contemptible.  I  've  no 
patience  with  it !  " 

"  It  is  best  to  be  charitable,  and  charge  her  short- 
comings to  natural  proclivities,  and  the  lack  of  re- 
ligion to  conquer  them.  '  Out  of  the  abundance  of 
the  heart  the  mouth  speaketh.'  Her  heart  was  full 
of  selfish  calculation,  and  she  acted  it  out.  If  she 


26  DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER. 

had  practiced  the  dissimulation  in  concealing  her 
motives  that  she  did  in  tracking  her  milliner,  she 
would  n't  have  exposed  the  rottenness  which  lay  in 
the  inside  of  her  whited  sepulchre." 

"  Whited  sepulchre  !  you  've  given  her  the  right 
name.  It  took  you  some  time  to  get  through  the 
whitewash,  and  find  out  what  was  underneath.  You 
will  learn  to  distinguish  them  at  a  glance  when 
you  've  been  in  business  awhile.  And  if  your  tongue 
don't  strip  off  some  of  the  whitewash  I  don't  under- 
stand you." 

"  I  try  to  do  my  duty  to  my  fellow- woman,  and  I 
hope  I  shall  continue  to  do  so.  I  really  intended  the 
questions,  that  I  put  to  the  one  that  just  went  out,  to 
be  suggestive  of  improvement  if  she  had  chosen  so  to 
interpret  them  ;  but  she  did  n't  appreciate  my  teach- 
ing." 

"  It  was  because  your  teaching  lacked  point.  If  I 
had  sent  her  out  of  the  store,  she  would  have  un- 
derstood." 


III. 

APRIL  12, 18 — . 

I  AM  conscious  that  I  am  in  a  captious  mood  to- 
night, a  continuation  of  the  frame  of  mind  I  have 
•been  in  all  day. 

It  is  possible  that  our  own  frame  of  mind  gives 
coloring  to  the  circumstances  that  surround  us,  and 
the  opinions  we  form  of  the  acts  of  others.  It  is 
not  only  possible,  but  probable ;  not  only  probable, 
but  that  is  just  the  state  of  the  case.  I  have  seen 
examples  of  it  in  others,  and  I  have  experienced  it 
in  myself. 

I  have  heard  many  a  person  applaud  a  sentiment 
one  day,  and  condemn  it  the  next ;  approve  an  act 
in  one,  and  censure  the  same  thing  in  another.  The 
conclusion  to  be  arrived  at,  in  view  of  both  acts  was, 
plainly,  that  the  opinion  formed  did  not  depend  upon 
the  sentiment  or  act,  abstractly  considered,  but  upon 
the  state  of  the  eyes  through  which  it  was  viewed, 
or  the  ears  upon  which  it  sounded. 

I  have  noticed  that  an  object  which  was  interest- 
ing and  agreeable  to  me  one  day  became  tiresome 
and  disgusting  another  without  any  apparent  change 
in  the  object.  On  discussing  the  matter  with  the  in- 
ner dual  I  found  that  some  untoward  event,  such  as 
disappointed  efforts  in  some  direction,  an  undigested 


28  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

dinner,  a  sleepless  night,  or  some  other  trifle,  had 
placed  the  concave  for  the  convex  glass  before  my 
sight,  or  vice  versa,  so  that  my  perception  had  be- 
come disturbed  when  I  looked  at  the  object. 

This  rule  may  safely  be  applied  to  the  various 
things  which  go  to  make  up  this  terrestrial  condition. 
The  question  resolves  itself  into  the  view  which  the 
individual  dual  takes  of  them.  Why  the  individual 
should  take  so  many-sided  views  of  the  same  thing, 
and  why  the  many-sided  views  resolve  themselves 
into  a  one-sided  view,  and  why  the  constant  effort  of 
the  one-sided  view  is  to  exalt  and  exonerate  itself  at 
the  expense  of  antagonistic  views,  can  be  explained 
only  on  one  principle. 

That  principle  is  an  axiom  to  the  initiated.  It 
consists  in  the  entire  devotion  of  the  dual  to  the  in- 
dividual, and  the  responsive,  tender,  and  devoted  at- 
tachment of  the  individual  to  the  dual  self;  there- 
fore, what  goes  to  depreciate  the  compound  individ- 
ual in  his  own  eyes  is  to  be  eschewed. 

Talking  of  axioms,  another  presents  itself  in 
connection  with  this.  It  is  that  every  one  likes  to 
appear  to  the  best  possible  advantage  in  the  eyes  of 
those  with  whom  he  associates.  These  two  axioms 
established,  it  follows  that  what  goes  to  depreciate 
the  individual  in  the  eyes  of  the  dual  and  his  asso- 
ciates, makes  the  compound  human  uncomfortable 
throughout  his  whole  inner  existence.  Therefore, 
the  profound  humiliation  in  his  own  eyes  that  fol- 
lows conviction  of  a  fault  is  so  disagreeable  to  be 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  29 

borne  that  it  has  become  a  universal  habit  of  human 
duality  to  shift  all  wrong  as  speedily  as  possible 
upon  circumstances,  or  outside  individuals.  Hence 
the  many  ingenious  devices  called  into  action  to 
create  many-sided  views  which  resolve  themselves 
perpetually  into  one-sided  views. 

If  I  appear  ill-natured  in  the  remarks  I  make 
concerning  the  customer  upon  whom  I  have  con- 
ferred the  distinction  of  my  particular  notice  to-day, 
it  may  be  attributed  to  the  east  wind,  or  her  especial 
deserts  ;  not  at  all  to  my  state  of  mind. 

A  mincing  little  Miss  came  caracoling  up  to  the 
counter  where  I  stood,  in  search  of  materials  for  a 
bonnet. 

With  the  accumulated  wit  and  wisdom  of  eighteen 
summers  upon  her  old-fashioned  head  she  was  fairly 
out  of  leading-stings,  mentally.  Strange  how  the 
mind  agonizes  itself  into  maturity  in  the  verdant 
spring-time  of  the  manners  ! 

The  young  lady  had  ventured  to  leave  mamma  at 
home  in  charge  of  the  family,  and  wended  her 
winding  way  into  the  labyrinths  of  trade. 

Papa  had  intrusted  her  at  starting  with  a  five- 
dollar  bill,  accompanied  with  the  thrifty  charge  to 
make  it  go  as  far  as  possible.  I  wish  it  to  be  under- 
stood that  I  do  not  affirm  as  to  these  proceedings  at 
home.  The  outer  eye  did  not  witness  them.  The 
inner  eyes,  which  are  spiritual  and  penetrate  to  the 
things  of  the  spirit,  caught  up  the  inspiration  of  the 
home  scenes,  and  made  record  of  them. 


30  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

The  young  lady  knew  how  to  make  good  use  of 
the  supposititious  teachings  of  the  head  of  her 
family,  as  will  be  shown.  Untaught  nature  could 
hardly  have  suggested  the  artifice  she  practiced  to 
get  her  bonnet  cheap. 

She  wriggled  and  twisted,  advanced  and  retreated, 
curvetted  and  pranced,  till  finally  she  arrived  where 
I  stood,  and  lisped  out,  — 

"  Show  me  some  buff  flowers,  if  you  please." 

I  showed  her  some  of  a  soft,  mellow  tinge.  She 
asked  the  price.  They  were  imported  flowers,  and 
•expensive.  I  saw  her  countenance  darken  when 
I  told  her,  but  she  made  no  other  sign  as  to  the 
price.  She  looked  at  them  a  moment  longer ;  then, 
with  an  air  of  importance  which  only  the  possession 
of  a  five-dollar  bank  note  can  confer,  said,  — 

"  Those  are  too  light." 

Verily  it  was  spoken  with  the  assumed  air  that 
it  was  a  ten-dollar  bill.  How  should  a  saleswoman 
be  supposed  to  know  that  it  was  only  a  five  ?  With 
proper  management  she  might  be  impressed  that  it 
was  ten,  or  twenty  even. 

The  saleswoman  suspected  the  ruse,  and  I  '11  re- 
veal in  due  time  how  she  knew  all  about  it  to  a  cer- 
tainty. 

I  showed  her  some  a  little  darker. 

"  Those  are  too  dark  !  "  with  the  same  air. 

I  showed  her  every  variety  of  shade  which  we 
had. 

u  I  don't  like  any  of  them ; "  she  lisped  out,  with  a 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  31 

toss  of  her  little  head,  and  a  shrug  of  her  little 
shoulders. 

I  saw  that  she  was  n't  in  to  buy ;  but  I  went  on 
to  show  her  the  laces  and  ribbons  that  she  asked 
for.  Some  were  too  light,  some  too  dark,  some  too 
red,  some  too  yellow,  all  were  too  something  to  suit. 

Here  was  another  whited  sepulchre.  The  wash 
was  put  on  thin,  in  the  measure  of  the  money  in  her 
pocket.  Perhaps  experience  was  educating  my 
vision.  I  penetrated  her  purpose,  but  I  pitied  the 
little  hypocrite.  I  considered  that  she  was  more 
sinned  against  than  sinning.  She  was  practicing 
what  she  had  been  taught.  Therefore  with  Christian, 
or  Job-like  patience  I  kept  my  temper.  Poor  little 
thing  !  so  young  in  years,  so  old  in  guile  !  I  helped 
her  along,  —  as  the  sun  shines  on  the  evil  and  the 
good  ?  Certainly  !  is  not  that  the  way  a  Christian 
should  do  ?  I  made  no  manifestation  but  that  I 
thought  she  was  making  a  praiseworthy  effort  to  ful- 
fill her  father's  injunction. 

I  saw  that  she  was  in  to  see  what  kind  of  goods 
were  in  use,  and  learn  their  prices  so  as  to  cheapen 
them  in  the  next  store. 

After  listening  to  my  representations  of  what  colors 
and  combinations  would  be  pretty  for  her,  she  said, 
with  unnumbered,  expressive  little  tosses  of  her 
head,  — 

"  I  don't  think  I  '11  order  a  bonnet,  after  all  —  I 
think  I  '11  buy  one  all  made,"  and  she  passed  on 
into  the  saloon.  Another  half  hour  was  spent  in 
looking  at  made  bonnets. 


32  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

I  noticed  that  she  did  not  examine  them  with  an 
eye  to  their  abstract  beauty,  or  to  their  appropriate- 
ness for  her.  She  investigated  the  manner  of  their 
construction  with  the  careful  study  of  an  artist  in- 
tending to  copy.  Then,  she  became  transparent ;  I 
saw  through  her  to  the  bottom.  She  was  going  to 
make  her  own  bonnet,  and  was  making  herself  mis- 
tress of  the  way  to  do  it  by  a  careful  examination  of 
ours.  She  was  helping  herself  gratuitously  to  the 
benefit  of  skill  which  had  been  bought  and  paid  for. 

I  was  not  angry  with  the  little  thief;  my  indigna- 
tion spent  itself  in  another  direction.  Shame  on 
the  training  that  had  brought  forth  such  fruits  from 
such  a  spil !  The  inner  dual  saw  down  into  the 
depths  of  the  cultivation  that  had  matured  such 
fruit.  The  dressing  and  sub-plowing,  the  furrow- 
ing, and  putting  in  of  the  seed,  and  the  daily 
tending,  the  watering  and  nurturing  that  made  it 
grow. 

I  longed  to  take  that  child  away  from  the  atmos- 
phere in  which  she  had  so  thriven,  and  show  her 
how  meanly  and  wickedly  she  was  behaving.  Did 
her  sin  lie  at  her  own  door  ? 

After  completing  her  inspection,  she  said,  with  one 
grand  flourish,  the  culminated  air  in  which  was  min- 
gled the  doubly  refined,  highly  concentrated,  com- 
pound extract  of  all  her  former  airs,  — 

"  I  don't  find  any  thing  that  exactly  suits  me  ;  1 
won't  purchase  to-day.  I  know  I  'm  awful  particular, 
but  I  can't  help  it" 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  33 

The  possession  of  that  five-dollar  note  had  given 
her  an  edifying  consciousness  of  her  own  impor- 
tance. If  she  went  out  with  the  idea  that  she  had 
impressed  me  that  she  was  a  young  lady  of  such 
fastidious  •  taste  that  so  ordinary  an  exhibition  of 
pretty  things  had  failed  to  satisfy  it,  she  entirely  mis- 
apprehended the  state  of  my  mentals. 

I  pitied  her  for  a  silly  little  thing  of  airs  and  pre- 
tences ;  but  not  quite  so  shallow  as  she  appeared  on 
the  surface.  She  had  depth  enough  to  plan  and 
perform  quite  a  little  role  in  order  to  get  her  bonnet 
cheap.  If  she  acted  it  to  her  own  satisfaction,  alas 
for  its  execution  upon  me  ! 

My  capacity  to  penetrate  was  quite  equal  to  hers 
for  originating  and  executing  her  sham. 

Sham  !  yes,  sham !  It  is  the  rule  of  action  in  the 
outer  life.  One  motive  is  put  forward  while  another 
and  a  very  different  from  that  on  exhibition  is  what 
really  actuates  in  the  transaction  performed.  When 
a  man  really  wishes  to  buy  an  article,  he  puts  on  an 
air  of  indifference  toward  it ;  he  often  goes  further 
and  depreciates  it  with  words.  These  tactics  are 
carried  into  all  the  transactions  and  acts  of  life, 
till  sincerity  itself  is  often  put  on  as  a  trap. 

Silly  fools  !  We  act  as  though  the  keen  vision  of 
equally  alert  shammers  were  not  wide  open,  staring 
down  into  and  compassing  every  thought  that  stirs 
in  our  inner  chamber. 

What  a  world  of  humiliation  we  might  save  our- 
selves if  we  would  recognize,  remember,  and  act 
3 


34  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

upon  the  fact  that  others  are  as  apt  to  scrutinize 
our  motives,  and  are  as  capable  of  doing  it  as  we 
theirs.  Sincerity  would  certainly  be  induced  out  of 
shame,  —  a  result  which  principle  rarely  accom- 
plishes. 

To  act  sincerely  would  not  always  save  us  from 
the  uncharitable  judgments  of  others.  Our  ac- 
quaintances judge  of  us  as  they  are  in  themselves. 
They  construe  our  acts,  be  they  never  so  sincere, 
according  to  their  own  one-sided  interpretation,  and 
it  often  proves  that  they  judge  far  off  the  truth. 
That  is  one  of  the  crosses  of  the  flesh  to  be  borne 
patiently  till  we  see  eye  to  eye,  when  the  misappre- 
hension will  be  rectified. 

But  to  act  sincerely  would  obtain  our  own  self- 
respect,  which  is  an  ennobling  end  to  attain.  A 
consciousness  of  rectitude  makes  a  man,  or  woman, 
stand  upright,  and  look  the  world  in  the  face,  un- 
dauntedly, however  much  it  may  scowl. 

To  act  sincerely  is  to  obtain  the  approbation  of 
the  Father,  a  consideration  well  worth  the  whole 
effort  of  the  united  human  dual. 

Another  benefit,  worth  mentioning,  would  accrue 
from  sincerity  in  intercourse  with  our  fellows.  Cause 
of  offence  not  being  given,  the  sins  of  the  unruly 
member  would  be  diminished  to  the  pacification  of 
the  wicked  feuds  that  now  disfigure  the  face  of  many 
a  Christian  community, —  feuds  which  cause  the 
finger  of  "  the  world's  people  "  to  be  pointed  thereat, 
and  the  shout  to  sound  out,  Fie  !  for  shame ! 


DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER.  35 

Sincerity  in  action  would  prolong  the  existence  of 
the  mortal  strata  of  the  dual  indefinitely  beyond  the 
allotted  longevity  of  three  score  and  ten,  —  if  he 
could  only  be  persuaded  to  test  the  quality  of  such 
a  physical  preservative. 

The  wear  and  tear  of  perplexities,  anxieties,  and 
manual  labor  that  shamming  imposes  upon  the  dual, 
consumes  vitality  in  ruinous  ratio  to  the  amount  of 
happiness,  which  is  life,  that  it  confers.  How  many, 
that  indefinite  length  of  days  might  become  if  sin- 
cerity were  to  be  the  rule  of  life,  I  lack  the  means 
of  demonstrating,  and  I  have  serious  apprehensions 
that  human  statistics  will  always  labor  under  such 
destitution. 

I  saw  my  customer  go  into  the  next  store.  I  had 
occasion  to  go  there  also  on  an  errand  of  my  own. 
Probably  I  had  no  design  to  follow  her,  and  see  what 
use  she  made  of  the  knowledge  she  had  just  ac- 
quired from  me.  I  is  not  one  of  the  shammers ; 
the  offensive  17  is  always  the  offending  party. 

I  followed  her,  and  stood  beside  the  counter  while 
she  made  her  purchases.  It  is  necessary  to  have 
rules  in  trade  that  will  work  both  ways.  We  must 
follow  up,  and  find  out  the  character  of  our  custom- 
ers, so  as  not  to  waste  time  and  attention  upon  those 
who  don't  pay  us.  If  we  are  watched  we  return  the 
compliment  by  watching.  I  saw  that  she  followed 
my  suggestions  about  her  materials. 

On  every  article  she  got  off  a  few  cents  by  tell- 
ing the  saleswoman  that  she  could  get  them  a  little 


36  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

cheaper  at  our  place,  in  which  statement  she  usually 
transgressed  the  truth. 

By  her  manoeuvre  she  got  the  materials  for  her 
bonnet  "very  reasonably."  And,  no  doubt,  she  so 
boasted  to  her  thrifty  sire  when  he  investigated  her 
financiering  after  she  arrived  home.  And  no  doubt 

o 

her  skill  in  making  profitable  investments  received 
its  due  meed  of  approbation.  The  inner  dual  fol- 
lowed her  home,  saw  her  exhibit  her  purchases, 
tell  what  we  asked  for  just  such  things,  and  how 
much  cheaper  she  got  them.  It  saw  the  wink 
of  recognition  that  passed  between  the  parents  as 
her  shrewdness  vaunted  itself,  and  the  caressing 
pat  of  laudation  conferred  upon  the  smirking  little 
cheek. 

The  spirit  is  an  unlimited  traveller. 

If  I  had  the  meting  out  of  retributions,  the 
course  of  discipline  which  I  would  mark  out  for 
that  young  woman  would  be,  to  compel  her  to  invest 
that  five-dollar  note  in  millinery.  Then,  I  would 
compel  her  to  wait  upon  such  customers  as  she  was 
to  me  till  her  five  dollars  had  earned  her  a  bonnet 
in  her  profits.  Can  any  mathematician  tell  me  how 
long  she  would  go  bareheaded  ? 

I  don't  object  to  the  girl  making  her  own  bonnet, 
if  she  does  so  honestly.  It  was  the  filching  of  our 
time  and  skill  that  was  objectionable.  One  who 
has  little  or  no  practice  may  be  able  to  make  a  tol- 
erable bonnet,  but  the  touch  which  a  milliner  in- 
scribes upon  her  handiwork  is  wanting.  Unpracticed 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  37 

hands,  however  Nature  may  have  endowed  them  with 
skill,  can  never  impart  the  ease  and  elegance  of  finish 
which  characterize  cultivated  aptness. 

There  is  no  such  thing  as  genius  without  knowl- 
edge. Aptness  will  succeed  with  less  than  stu- 
pidity. 

A  man  may  be  a  born  lawyer,  but  he  must  study 
statutes  before  he  can  practice  successfully. 

A  man  may  be  a  born  doctor,  but  he  must  learn  the 
science  of  medicine,  and  its  application  to  the  phy- 
sique before  he  can  become  skillful  in  curing  dis- 
eases. Nature  may  bend  the  mind  to  suit  a  vocation, 
but  diligent  application  to  learn  the  details  which 
constitute  it  is  necessary  in  order  to  perfect  one  in 
the  use  of  it. 

A  little  knowledge  may  serve  one's  purpose,  but 
after  the  trouble  and  expense  of  education  has  been 
at  by  others,  those  who  require  the  little,  if  they  take 
it  from  those  who  have  purchased  the  much,  ought 
to  pay  for  it.  An  ounce  of  knowledge  should  be 
paid  for  as  much  as  the  pound. 

It  would  be  equally  just  and  reasonable  to  ex- 
pect a  lawyer  to  give  you  the  benefit  of  his  legal 
knowledge,  or  a  doctor  his  medical  services  without 
return  for  value  received,  as  to  take  advantage  of  ac- 
quired millinery  skill  without  payment. 

The  sin  of  quackery  is  its  deception.  Its  popu- 
larity is  not  based  upon  its  superior  merits,  but  its 
availability.  Its  knowledge  of  human  nature  insures 
its  success.  The  hook  is  baited  with  an  advertise- 


38  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

ment  of  cheapness.  Who  can  resist  a  nibble  ?  Not 
those  whose  first,  second,  and  last  consideration,  is 
the  "  almighty  dollar." 

Almighty  is  no  surreptitious  appellation  to  confer 
on  the  lustrous  ore  stamped  with  man's  image. 
Omnipotent  is  its  rule,  and  omnipresent  its  con- 
sideration. Where  does  it  not  take  precedence  of 
the  durable  riches  of  righteousness  ? 

Cheapness  is  paramount  to  taste,  fitness,  or  dura- 
bility. The  seekers  for  cheapness  have  their  reward. 
The  abiding  qualities  of  the  articles  they  buy  are 
transient  in  ratio  of  money  spent  for  them. 


IV. 

APRIL  20, 18  — . 

WE  had  an  illustration  to-day  of  quack  millinery, 
and  its  saving  qualities.  Too  much  of  the  salt  of 
economy  may  prove  as  destructive  to  the  purse  as 
too  little. 

Last  week  a  lady  came  in  to  get  a  bonnet  pressed 
over,  saying  that  she  had  trimmings  at  home,  and 
that  a  friend  who  had  trimmed  her  own  would  put 
it  on  for  her.  As  an  excuse  for  so  doing,  she  re- 
marked, —  "  It  costs  so  much  to  get  a  bonnet  trimmed 
nowadays." 

To-day  she  brought  it  back,  with  her  trimming,  to 
have  it  fitted  up.  Her  friend  had  tried  on  it  two  or 
three  times,  and  failed  to  suit 

The  unskillful  hands  had  injured  the  bonnet  so 
much  that  we  were  obliged  to  incur  the  expense  of 
returning  il  to  the  bleachery  to  have  it  pressed  again. 
So  much  for  the  saving  part  of  the  operation. 

We  took  every  pains  to  make  up  for  this  disap- 
pointment because  she  treated  us  like  a  lady. 

She  told  us  honestly  when  she  first  brought  the 
bonnet  what  she  intended  to  do.  When  she  brought 
it  back,  she  was  just  as  frank  in  representing  her 
foolishness,  as  she  called  it,  in  trying  to  save  in  the 


40  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

wrong  place.  I  record  for  the  edification  of  those 
who  think  like  her,  and  the  instruction  of  those  who 
have  n't  had  her  experience,  or  are  not  so  sensible, 
the  remarks  she  made  when  she  gave  me  the  bonnet 
back. 

"  It  is  better  to  let  all  trades  live.  My  husband 
is  a  physician,  he  practices  and  has  his  pay,  and  it  is 
the  proper  thing  for  us  to  pay  back  his  earnings  to 
those  that  employ  him  by  employing  them  in  their 
particular  business.  I  was  too  greedy  in  trying  to 
save  out  of  you,  and  he  told  me  so  when  I  showed 
him  my  bonnet  this  morning." 

I  liked  her,  and  I  led  her  to  talk  on. 

"  Every  one  has  not  a  particular  calling  through 
which  to  receive  back  what  they  pay  out." 

"  They  ought  to  have,"  she  replied  quickly.  "  If 
you  knew  how  much  disease  is  caused  by  idleness 
you  would  indorse  the  remark.  The  necessity  of 
work  is  the  salvation  of  health." 

"  Still  if  one  does  work  and  earn,  it  is  proper  to 
save  all  he  can,"  I  remarked. 

"  Certainly,"  she  replied,  "  I  save  in  the  right 
place  by  wearing  my  last  summer  trimming.  It 
may  not  be  so  desirable  as  a  new  one,  but  it  answers 
every  purpose  on  a  bonnet  which  I  wish  to  wear 
only  when  I  go  out  on  business,  for  a  drive,  or  the 
like." 

"  There  are  circumstances  where  it  would  be  im- 
possible for  one  to  be  engaged  in  regular  employ- 
ment,'' I  pursued. 


DIARY   OF  A    MILLINER.  41 

"  Yes,  but  those  cases  are  rare  ;  they  are  the  ex- 
ceptions. It  is  usually  false  pride,  or  indolence,  that 
prompts  people  to  live  in  idleness  ;  especially  those 
that  sponge  their  living  out  of  others.  There  ought 
to  be  a  law  that  every  child,  male  or  female,  should 
learn  some  trade  or  profession,  so  that  they  could 
get  their  living.  If  parents  have  n't  sense  to  see 
what  is  for  their  good,  I  would  have  the  State  take 
the  education  of  children  in  hand,  as  it  did  in  olden 
times." 

"  But  if  they  were  not  disposed  to  follow  it  after 
they  were  taught  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  I  would  have  that  in  the  law,  that  they  should 
do  so  if  they  were  not  disposed." 

"  Some  are  disposed  to  make  all  they  can  out  of 
their  own  occupation  and  that  of  others  too,"  I  re- 
marked. 

"  Yes,"  she  replied  with  an  arch  look ;  "  and 
yours  is  not  the  only  trade  which  that  class  of  peo- 
ple are  disposed  to  take  advantage  of.  We  are 
sponged  as  well  as  you.  Many  and  many  a  woman 
has  come  to  me,  and  asked  in  a  friendly  way,  what 
I  do  for  myself  and  my  children  when  we  are  af- 
fected so  and  so,  instead  of  going  to  my  husband  for 
advice,  and  paying  for  it.  I  have  been  thoroughly 
disgusted  with  such  meanness  ;  and  my  husband  told 
me  this  morning  that  I  had  been  doing  the  same 
thing  by  you,  and  I  felt  ashamed  ;  but  I  hope  I  have 
made  amends." 

I  could  have  taken  that  woman  in  my  arms,  and 


42  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

hugged  her.  I  did  take  her  to  the  inner  dual,  and 
lay  her  on  my  heart,  as  a  healing  balm  for  the  wound 
that  the  little  hypocrite  of  yesterday  made.  I  had 
entertained  an  angel,  and  her  visit  was  as  refreshing 
as  if  from  the  presence  of  the  Lord. 

I  don't  know  what  church  she  belongs  to,  I  don't 
know  if  she  is  a  professor  of  religion,  but  if  I  could 
I  would  send  this  act  as  a  memorial  of  her  down  to 
all  coming  generations. 

I  was  telling  my  landlady  at  tea  to-night  the 
incident  here  recorded,  and  she  remarked  in  her 
grave  way  —  "I  was  just  as  mean  as  that  once,  but  I 
did  n't  know  it  till  I  went  into  a  store  to  'tend.  My 
eyes  were  then  opened,  I  was  convicted,  and  I  hope 
converted  from  the  error  of  my  ways.  I  never  go  into 
a  store  now  without  considering  that  there  are  two 
parties  whose  interests  are  to  be  consulted  in  mak- 
ing a  trade.  Some  buy  to  better  advantage  than 
others  on  account  of  the  state  of  the  market,  or  from 
having  more  means  to  do  so,  and  on  that  account 
can  afford  to  sell  for  less.  I  think  it  is  right  to  go 
where  I  can  do  best  for  myself;  but  to  lie  and  de- 
ceive in  order  to  get  an  article  cheaper  is  just  as 
contemptible  in  a  customer  as  in  a  trader.  Some 
traders  are  disposed  to  take  advantage  of  you,  and 
the  way  to  treat  them  is  to  let  them  alone  se- 
verely." 

She  was  quite  out  of  breath  when  she  got  through 
with  her  speech.  It  was  rather  a  long  one  to  deliver 
in  the  way  of  colloquy.  But  my  landlady  is  a  grand 


DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER.  43 

woman.  The  more  I  see  of  her,  the  better  I  like 
her. 

Question  :  If  tending  store  has  such  a  wonderful 
effect  upon  the  moral  element  of  the  human  dual, 
why  would  n't  it  be  well,  as  a  normal  exercise,  for 
Sabbath-school  teachers,  to  take  a  salutary  course  of 
training  in  that  fitting  department  during  the  secular 
days  of  the  week  ? 

I  am  not  sure  —  this  is  only  the  opinion  of  one 
humble  person  —  that  ministers  would  n't  gain  more 
available  information  of  the  real  characters  of  their 
hearers,  wherefrom  to  preach  adaptive  and  instruc- 
tive sermons,  by  a  course  of  observations  in  a  store, 
in  a  week,  than  they  now  obtain  in  a  lifetime  of 
parochial  parlor  visits  and  vestry  conferences. 

Parishioners  usually  feel  it  incumbent  on  them  to 
dress  their  manners  in  Sunday  garb,  and  sit  in  state, 
with  toes  turned  out  and  heels  turned  in,  when  their 
minister  makes  his  appearance.  Their  language 
must  also  be  arranged  after  the  rules  of  grammati- 
cal syntax,  perfumed  with  the  strongest  extract  of 
righteousness. 

When  engaged  in  making  a  trade  minor  consider- 
ations are  forgotten,  the  one  great  object  becomes 
absorbing ;  and  the  ruling  passion  crops_  out  with 
a  luxuriance  unknown  to  the  chilly  atmosphere  of 
conventional  vegetation.  Those  ministers  ambitious 
of  a  reputation  for  smartness,  who  like  to  point  a 
home-thrust  by  witty  exposition,  and  gratify  their 


44  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

hearers,  or  their  vanity,  by  displaying  their  keenness, 
could  hardly  find  more  suggestive  or  useful  hints  for 
their  purposes  than  those  furnished  in  a  store.  Dull 
must  be  the  blade  of  satire  that  is  n't  ground  to  dis- 
secting sharpness  on  the  whetstone  of  bargaining. 


V. 

MAY  1, 18—. 

I  AM  located  in  business  with  the  great  question 
of,  What  is  honesty  ?  yet  unsettled,  although  I  have 
been  perplexing  myself  with  it  night  and  day  for  the 
last  six  months. 

A  very  simple  question  it  might  seem  to  one  not 
involved  in  the  intricacies  of  business,  but  once  let 
one  get  entangled  in  the  mazes  of  buying  and  sell- 
ing, and  it  would  be  beyond  the  ingenuity  of  a  law- 
yer to  extricate  his  ideas  of  honesty. 

I  resolved  myself  into  a  committee  of  the  whole 
upon  the  aforementioned  question,  and  have  been 
gravely  sitting  upon  it —  by  no  means  so  easy  a  seat 
as  to  make  satisfactory  accommodations  —  during  this 
tedious  length  of  time,  to  no  purpose.  The  longer 
I  have  sat,  the  harder  has  grown  the  seat,  and  more 
mystifying  has  grown  the  problem.  It  opens  and 
shuts  to  my  understanding,  like  a  showery  day,  but 
chiefly  shuts. 

"  Honesty  is  the  best  policy."  How  easy  it  is  to 
propound  proverbs ! 

What  is  honesty  ?  The  answer  has  been  phara- 
phrased  into  innumerable  platitudes,  but  nothing 
practically  satisfactory  has  yet  been  educed  from  it. 
It  is  evident  that  the  paraphrasts  have  never  been  in 


46  DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER. 

trade.  How  can  they  understand  that  words  strung 
together  to  make  grandiloquent  fulminations  ill  com- 
pare with  the  little  actions  which  must  be  strung  to- 
gether, through  a  lifetime,  to  make  a  telling  practice  ? 

My  solution  of  honesty  has  n't  yet  transpired,  but 
the  policy  upon  which  I  start  is  decided.  I  will  keep 
a  good  quality  of  goods,  and  do  my  best  to  please 
those  who  favor  me  with  their  custom.  If  I  do  that 
I  must  be  paid  for  it.  I  must  be  judge,  not  my  cus- 
tomers, how  large  profits  will  suffice  to  pay  me,  and 
who  is  best  able  to  pay  them. 

One  point  I  have  settled  in  my  own  mind  beyond  a 
cavil,  and  the  conclusion  has  been  reached  from  the 
facts  which  my  eyes  have  revealed  to  my  under- 
standing. 

The  naked  truth  is,  that  people  go  to  buy  goods 
with  one  unadulterated  purpose  in  their  thoughts, 
and  that  is,  to  buy  just  as  advantageously  to  them- 
selves as  possible,  without  the  slightest  interest 
whether  the  seller  makes  or  loses  through  their  cus- 
tom. I  am  a  little  too  fast.  Many  appear  very  much 
exercised  with  doubts  and  fears  lest  a  trader  should 
make  something  out  of  them  ;  but  as  to  the  losses 
of  the  tradesman  customers  manifest  a  wonderful 
resignation  to  the  allotments  of  Providence. 

At  this  point  another  popular  proverb  may  be  in- 
serted with  peculiar  adaptation  to  the  subject.  "  It 
is  a  poor  rule  that  won't  work  both  ways."  In  view 
of  the  proceedings  of  customers,  why  may  not  a 
trader  be  allowed  to  look,  in  unique  calculation,  at 
his  own  interest. 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  47 

Thence  arises  the  question,  What  is  for  my  in- 
terest, and  how  shall  I  best  advance  it  ?  I  wish  to 
secure  a  good  class  of  customers.  What  is  a  good 
customer  ?  One  who  has  plenty  of  money,  and  is 
willing  to  spend  it  for  what  he  wants.  At  any  rate, 
he  must  be  willing  to  spend  his  own,  or  that  of  some 
one  else.  If  he  wishes  to  spend  he  will  find  a  way 
to  get.  How  ?  That  is  asking  one  question  beyond 
the  province  of  a  tradesman  to  understand.  To 
know  that  a  customer  has  money,  and  is  willing  to 
spend  it,  and  does  spend  it  in  paying  for  his  goods, 
ought  to  suffice  the  curiosity  of  a  person  who  has 
goods  to  sell. 

That  kind  of  a  customer  takes  the  rank  of  general, 
commanding  the  whole  army  of  customers,  —  in 
goodness  ?  That  depends  upon  the  rendering  of 
the  word  goodness.  If  it  is  rendered  a  financial 
quality,  yes.  If  a  moral  or  social  adjunct,  various 
modification  might  be  introduced. 

As  an  illustration  of  the  socially  good  customer, 
here  comes  Mrs.  Tallmadge,  stately  and  serene  as 
a  military  monument,  "  tight-fisted "  as  a  contribu- 
tion offertory  in  the  vestibule  of  a  Roman  Catholic 
Church ;  which  depository  of  money  for  the  poor, 
or  the  priest,  is  made  with  one  narrow  opening  on 
top  by  which  coins  can  gain  access,  but  having  no 
visible  outlet  whereby  they  may  find  egress.  She 
has  a  great  deal  of  social  influence,  a  ready  will 
where  she  takes,  and  a  fluent  tongue  to  make  it 
available.  Therefore  I  wish  to  secure  her  custom. 


48  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

Where  shines  the  light  of  her  aristocratic  counte- 
nance, there  beam  the  light-giving  rays  of  her  train 
of  followers.  What  mayor's  lady  has  not  her  ad- 
mirers ;  leastwise,  while  she  is  lady  mayoress.  If 
a  part  of  the  admiration  she  receives  belongs, 
rightly  distributed,  to  the  office  her  husband  rep- 
resents, and  the  honor  his  partner  shares,  what  is 
that  to  us  ?  It  is  not  with  her  honors,  or  the  admira- 
tion, in  consequence  of  possession,  bestowed  upon  her, 
that  we  have  to  do.  It  is  singly  and  solely  of  the 
benefit  that  is  to  accrue  to  us  from  having  her  cus- 
tom, and  that  of  her  train  of  admirers,  that  we  speak. 

Her  solitary  custom  would  starve  a  church  mouse, 
but  the  set  she  leads  are  not  all  so  sharp  as  she. 
They  take  her  representation  so  far  as  cheapness  is 
concerned.  All  are  very  respectable,  and  will  give 
a  good  name  to  my  establishment. 

Mrs.  Tallmadge  is  a  strong-minded  lady  mayoress, 
and  has  instituted  a  protective  office,  in  her  own  in- 
dependent right,  commensurate  with  that  of  her  hus- 
band's ;  the  difference  being  that  her  husband's  is 
of  a  civil,  and  hers  of  a  social  character. 

She  has  constituted  herself  the  guardian  of  all  the 
purses  of  her  acquaintances  against  the  abuses  of 
tradespeople. 

She  goes  around  to  all  the  stores  in  town,  compares 
the  quality  of  the  different  stocks,  and  the  prices, 
and  then  reports  them  through  the  circle  of  her  ac- 
quaintance. The  one  who  sells  cheapest  has  the 
benign  influence  of  her  sanction.  She  trades  with 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  49 

him,  and  advises  every  one  she  knows  to  do  the 
same. 

It  is  impossible  to  deceive  her,  the  ruling  passion 
keeps  itself  healthy  and  vigorous  by  unflagging 
exercise.  .  Although  she  is  lady  mayoress  now,  she 
was  in  trade  once,  and  can't  rid  herself  of  the  odor 
of  a  tradeswoman.  She  perfumes  up  every  time  she 
makes  a  shopping  expedition,  and  distributes  distilled 
sweets  through  her  notability  and  shrewdness  wher- 
ever she  goes  afterwards. 

She  is  a  philanthropist  in  active,  enterprising  oper- 
ation. In  the  exercise  of  her  disinterested  benevo- 
lence she  advises  her  friends,  solely  for  their  own 
good,  to  trade  only  at  the  places  where  they  can  buy 
to  the  best  advantage.  The  result  to  be  obtained  by 
such  a  course  is  to  keep  down  the  price  of  goods  to 
a  reasonable  amount. 

If  one  is  disposed  to  undersell,  she  protects  him 
from  the  anger  of  his  fellow  tradespeople  by  her 
august  dictum  that  he  has  a  right  to  do  as  he  pleases. 
He  is  trading  on  the  policy  of  making  small  profits 
and  quick  turns. 

She  came  in  to-day,  and  if  there  is  one  article  in 
the  store  that  she  did  n't  examine,  and  as  a  neces- 
sary concomitant,  ask  the  price  of,  it  has  escaped  my 
memory. 

In  leaving,  she  stated  to  me  her  own  experience, 
and  advised  me  to  follow  it.  Here  she  had  an  op- 
portunity to  exercise  her  philanthropy  to  my  advan- 
tage. 

4 


50  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  If  I  were  you,"  she  said,  "  I  would  sell  cheap 
till  I  got  my  name  up.  Then,  after  you  have  got  a 
good  run  of  custom,  you  can  rise  in  your  prices." 

She,  of  course,  had  no  interest  in  advising  me  to 
such  a  course  of  policy.  She  was  interested  in  my 
welfare,  and  desirous  to  see  me  get  a  good  start  in 
business.  The  inner  dual  in  presenting  the  case  to 
her  view  argued,  that  as  success  was  to  be  for  my 
benefit,  the  means  to  attain  it  ought  to  be  at  my  ex- 
pense. This  advice  added  another  complex  section 
to  my  chapter  on  honesty.  Maybe  such  a  policy 
might  draw  custom,  but  methinks  as  soon  as  I  raised 
my  prices  my  customers  would  consider  themselves 
wronged,  and  leave  for  the  benefit  of  some  other 
new  store.  And  it  might  be  for  their  supposed  in- 
terest to  misrepresent  me  for  the  wrong  I  had  done 
them.  It  may  be  honesty  to  follow  the  advice,  but  I 
am  skeptical  as  to  the  policy. 

I  replied,  "  By  selling  cheaper  than  others  I  shall 
get  their  ill-will,  and  so  long  as  I  am  situated  among 
them  that  would  make  me  unhappy." 

"  You  might  as  well  dispense  with  such  silly  no- 
tions if  you  are  going  to  remain  in  trade,  and  battle 
for  yourself.  They  will  pay  no  such  regard  to  your 
feelings.  You  will  be  sure  of  their  ill-will  if  you 
get  custom." 

I  said  no  more.  If  she  congratulated  herself  that 
she  had  silenced  my  scruples  it  was  all  one  to  me. 
She  had  the  comfort  of  thinking  her  superior  wis- 
dom had  enlightened  me.  I  saw  it  was  my  wisdom 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  51 

not  to  reduce  the  quantity  of  her  self-esteem  by  ap- 
pearing to  differ  in  opinion  from  her. 

The  inner  dual  gently  suggested,  if  you  get  their 
ill-will  without  cause  it  can  be  borne.  If  you  do 
what  brings  it  upon  you,  you  have  nothing  to  sustain 
you. 

I  wished  to  secure  her  good-will  if  not  her  custom, 
so  I  was  all  smiles  and  attention.  The  smiles  were 
not  always  the  complacent  cordiality  they  expressed, 
but  they  answered  every  purpose.  They  were 
graciously  accepted.  I  ached  under  the  attention 
shockingly,  because  I  saw  some  ladies,  that  I  knew 
came  to  buy  if  I  had  what  suited  them,  go  out  of  the 
store  because  I  was  engaged.  I  bore  it  as  patiently 
as  I  could,  comforting  myself  with  the  reflection  that 
if  she  lost  me  something  in  custom  she  would  save 
me  money  in  advertising.  In  that  selfish  consid- 
eration I  became  entirely  oblivious  of  the  interests 
of  the  "  poor  printer."  I  beg  his  pardon.  I  am 
obliged,  in  common  parlance,  to  look  out  for  Num- 
ber One  at  the  risk  of  overlooking  my  friends. 

I  thanked  her  for  her  interest  in  my  success, 
which  her  advice  and  other  proceedings  indicated, 
hoped  she  would  favor  me  with  another  visit,  and 
courtesied  her  to  the  door  with  the  greatest  pleas- 
ure. 

Was  I  hypocritical  ?  By  no  means  !  only  politic. 
There  is  great  emphasis  in  the  proverb,  "  The  truth 
is  n't  to  be  told  at  all  times."  Does  that  teaching 
imply  that  a  lie  may  be  told  sometimes  ?  It  seems 


52  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

merely  to  involve  another  equally  trite  and  popular 
dogma  ?  "  A  wise  head  keeps  a  close  mouth." 

But  supposing  a  lie  is  effected  by  keeping  back  a 
part  of  the  truth  ?  Shade  of  Solomon  !  how  ques- 
tions multiply  if  you  once  commence  the  study  of 
morals.  They  follow  each  other  like  a  fourth  of 
July  procession,  and  tire  the  conscience  as  the  pe- 
destrian display  pains  the  foot. 

If  I  retain  a  part  of  the  truth  from  communica- 
tion, as  I  did  in  the  case  of  Mrs.  Tallmadge,  and  if 
from  that  concealment  she  infer  that  I  am  perfectly 
delighted  with  her,  and  all  of  her  sentiments,  where 
rests  the  fault  of  the  wrong  inference  ?  With  Mrs. 
Tallmadge,  I  insist,  understanding  all  the  bearings  of 
the  case  upon  my  interests.  If  she  knew  the  whole 
truth,  which  event  I  hope  may  never  transpire,  she 
would  undoubtedly  take  a  very  different  view  of  it. 
In  the  nervous  excitement  produced  by  the  wound 
inflicted  upon  her  self-esteem,  she  would  summarily 
pronounce  the  sentence  of  hypocrite  upon  me,  and 
charge  me  with  having  deceived  her.  Which  charge 
I  should  repel  by  the  accusation  that  she  had  deceived 
herself.  Criminations  and  recriminations  might  fol- 

O 

low  very  much  to  the  detriment  of  good  morals  and 
good  manners. 

In  practical  solution  that  is  a  wise  proverb  which 
writeth  for  our  instruction,  "  The  truth  should  n't  be 
told  at  all  times." 

Mrs.  Tallmadge  has,  in  her  own  eyes,  performed 
a  wonderful  coup-de-main  in  order  to  get  her  bonnet 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  53 

and  little  fineries  cheap.  Perhaps  she  is  smarter 
than  I  am,  but  if  it  is  within  the  pale  of  female  in- 
genuity, a  pale  that  incloses  a  large  circumference, 
to  devise  means  to  make  her  a  profitable  customer, 
I  propose  to  accomplish  that  laudable  result. 

She  has  the  means,  and  it  is  perfectly  proper  that 
she  should  pay  for  the  trouble  she  makes.  It  is 
none  of  my  plan  to  put  my  face  on  her  whetstone  ; 
and  then,  to  turn  and  grind  out  of  some  aping  sim- 
pleton who  has  no  such  worldly  wisdom,  the  profit 
which  that  old,  meddlesome  poor-grinder  ought  to 

pay- 

"  A  bird  that  can  sing  and  won't  sing,  must  be 
made  to  sing,"  is  another,  and  very  interesting  prov- 
erb, which  makes  a  very  pertinent  practical  applica- 
tion to  the  Tallmadge  discourse. 

I  will  endeavor  to  convince  that  woman  that  she 
is  getting  extraordinary  things  at  extraordinary 
prices. 

This  very  day  I  have  set  the  girls  at  work  upon 
a  bonnet  that  is  to  be  the  only  one  of  the  kind  im- 
ported this  season.  I  know  I  can  hit  off  her  com- 
plexion and  form  of  features  to  a  charm.  I  had 
plenty  of  time  to  study  her  while  she  was  rummag- 
ing over  my  goods. 

I  have  ordered  a  wooden  box,  because  French 
bonnets  come  in  wooden  boxes,  and  I  will  Frenchify 
it  off  with  pictures  and  French  printing,  so  that  the 
box  can  help  along  the  story. 

Let  me  see  !   black  as  Hagar!     Where  did  that 


54  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

phrase  come  from  ?  Tradition  must  be  the  mother 
of  it.  If  Hagar  mothers  the  African  race  she  is  not 
Mrs.  Tallmadge's  forernother,  but  the  next  thing  to 
it.  There  is  no  blond  blood  in  her  complexion. 
Scarlet  shades  and  black,  no  pale  reds,  but  just  a  bit 
of  white,  —  that  will  do,  I  was  right.  The  scarlet 
next  the  face,  to  throw  some  color  on  the  cheeks. 
That  long,  narrow  face ;  —  it  won't  do  to  pile  the 
flowers  on  top  as  they  do  now.  I  must  have  them 
down  a  bit  at  the  side  to  broaden  the  forehead,  and 
draw  the  white  spray  over  the  front  of  the  bonnet. 
Yes,  I  have  it. 

Mrs.  Tallmadge  shall  try  that  bonnet  when  she 
comes  in  again,  and  she  shall  buy  that  bonnet,  and 
her  purse  shall  remunerate  the  officers  of  the  customs 
for  all  the  trouble  they  have  taken  about  it. 

That  woman  is  supposed  to  be  made  in  God's  own 
image.  It  must  be  in  regard  to  the  general  appear- 
ance. In  the  details  of  construction  she  may  as 
fairly  be  supposed  to  differ. 

When  Mrs.  Tallmadge  went  out,  silly  little  Mrs. 
Flaunty  was  passing.  Seeing  her  mayoress-ship 
making  her  egress,  she  rushed  with  all  the  speed 
that  curiosity  could  hasten  to  the  saleswoman  that 
stood  nearest  the  door. 

"  Did  Mrs.  Tallmadge  buy  her  bonnet  here  ? ''  she 
asked  in  breathless  eagerness. 

The  girl  directed  her  to  me  to  gratify  her  curios- 
ity. Here  was  an  opportunity  to  turn  Mrs.  Tall- 
madge to  advantage.  Putting  on  a  reticent  air  I 
answered,  — 


DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER.  55 

u  I  think  she  will  buy  her  bonnet  here." 

I  really  thought  she  would.  Indeed  it  was  my 
fixed  purpose  to  draw  her  into  such  an  arrangement. 
And  if  Mrs.  Flaunty  was  drawn  by  force  of  example 
to  do  the  same  thing,  I  should  sell  two  bonnets  in- 
stead of  one. 

"  What  is  she  going  to  have  ?  "  pursued  the  eager 
questioner.  "  Can  I  see  it  ?  " 

"  I  never  show  a  customer's  bonnet,  even  to  her 
best  friends.  Many  ladies  would  be  offended  if  I 
were  to  do  so.  You  will  see  her  bonnet  when  she 
wears  it." 

"  You  are  real  lucky  to  get  her  custom,"  said 
little  Flaunty  ;  "  she  will  tell  everybody  who  made 
her  bonnet." 

I  assented  with  a  smile. 

"  I  must  come  here  one  of  these  days  and  get 
mine,  when  Flaunty  fills  my  purse,"  she  said. 

I  internally  commented,  When  you  have  seen  Mrs. 
Tallmadge's.  What  will  you  do  if  you  don't  succeed 
with  Tallmadge  ?  suggested  caution.  She  will  think 
Tallmadge  has  changed  her  mind,  —  one  of  the  most 
common  events  to  happen  in  a  woman's  life,  and 
always  to  be  safely  presumed  upon. 

Flaunty  is  a  subject  to  make  a  good  trade  out  of. 
She  has  n't  one  particle  of.  Tallmadge's  shrewdness 
or  knowledge.  She  will  believe  any  thing  I  tell  her, 
since  she  thinks  my  lady  mayoress  is  my  patron'. 
My  lady's  notability  is  as  far-funed  as  her  distin- 
guished person  is  known.  Where  is  the  lady  mayor- 


56  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

ess  who  does  not  enjoy  the  like  notoriety?  More 
than  that,  where  is  there  a  lady  mayoress  who  does  n't 
labor  under,  if  she  does  n't  rejoice  in,  a  reputation 
for  characteristics  of  which  she  never  dreamed,  con- 
ferred by  Vox  populi. 

It  is  safe  for  any  one  to  trade  where  Mrs.  Tall- 
madge  does,  and  very  desirable,  Mrs.  Flaunty  would 
argue. 

Shall  I  impose  upon  the  little  simpleton  ?  Shade 
of  honesty !  no  !  If  I  put  a  trick  upon  any  one  it 
shall  be  on  an  equal,  and  never  upon  her  unless  she 
attempts  to  play  off  on  me  first.  I  think  it  is  right 
to  play  back  in  such  a  case.  I  should  as  soon  think 
of  taking  advantage  of  a  child  as  of  Flaunty.  Her 
husband  is  an  honest,  hard-working  man,  and  sup- 
plies his  wife  with  all  the  money  he  can  spare,  and 
that  is  by  no  means  a  superabundance.  He  loves 
her,  and  delights  to  see  her  gratify  her  taste  in 
dress. 

Flaunty  will  trust  me.  Would  I  deceive  a  per- 
son that  trusts  me  ?  God  forbid !  Let  my  right 
hand  forget  her  cunning  when  I  make  a  dishonest 
bonnet  for  an  honest  woman. 


VI. 

MAY  3, 18  — . 

IT  turns  out  as  I  calculated.  My  urbanity  to  the 
Right  Honorable  Mrs.  Tallmadge  has  brought  her 
round  again,  only  a  little  sooner  than  I  expected. 

There  are  some  distinguished  strangers  in  town. 
The  mayor  is  to  dine  them,  and  Madam  desired  a 
new  head-dress  under  which  to  honor  the  occasion, 
so  she  said. 

If  she  came  to  pass  away  the  time  that  intervenes 
before  she  can  exhibit  her  graces  before  those  who 
can  carry  the  fame  thereof  into  more  remote  neigh- 
borhoods than  she  had  as  yet  been  spread  over,  it 
was  right  for  me  to  improve  it  for  my  own  benefit, 
and  I  did  so. 

She  would  give  no  directions  at  all  about  the  cap. 
"  Make  me  one  suitable  to  my  age  and  station,"  was 
her  order.  I  selected  the  materials,  and  set  the  girls 
at  work  to  make  up  an  age-and-station  cap.  I  knew 
well  enough  about  her  station,  but  how  to  fit  a  cap  to 
it !  Direct  me,  my  guardian  angel,  so  that  I  make  no 
blunder !  Her  age,  I  would  n't  dare  hazard  a  guess 
upon  it  in  her  hearing  for  fear  of  giving  offense ; 
but  I  thought  I  could  hit  it  in  her  cap.  If  1  made 
a  mistake,  on  the  verdant  side,  of  two  or  three  years, 
no  exceptions  would  be  taken. 


58  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

While  the  age-and-station  cap  was  in  progress,  I 
thought  I  might  as  well  be  advancing  my  plans 
about  the  French  bonnet. 

I  fortified  my  purpose  with  the  consideration  that 
she  was  lawful  game.  I  gave  her  taste,  and  knowl- 
edge of  the  quality  of  goods  many  a  pointed  compli- 
ment while  we  were  talking,  —  her  palate  for  such 
condiments  was  n't  delicate,  —  till  I  put  her  in  per- 
fect good-humor  with  herself,  and  of  course  with  me. 

I  have  observed,  and  there  is  profound  policy  in- 
closed in  the  fact  if  one  is  disposed  to  study  it  out 
and  reduce  it  to  practice,  that  the  better  pleased  a 
woman  is  with  herself  the  better  the  feelings  which  she 
will  manifest  toward  all  the  rest  of  the  world.  Ergo, 
the  more  self-satisfied  you  can  make  a  woman  in 
your  store,  the  better  satisfied  she  will  be  with  you. 
The  more  pleased  she  is  with  you,  the  better  she  will 
like  your  bonnets ;  the  better  satisfied  she  is  with 
your  bonnets,  the  more  likely  she  will  be  to  buy 
them,  and  pay  your  prices  without  grumbling. 

I  was  very  careful  to  tell  Mrs.  Tallmadge  the  price 
of  her  cap  a  little  more  than  I  intended  it  should 
amount  to  when  it  was  done.  To  take  off  some- 
thing in  the  price  was  a  convincing  argument  with 
her  that  she  got  an  article  "  reasonable." 

I  knew  my  woman,  and  I  knew  if  I  asked  her 
twenty-five  cents  for  an  article,  she  would  want  it  for 
twelve.  If  I  asked  her  twelve,  she  would  want  it 
for  six.  If  I  asked  her  six,  she  would  want  it  for 
nothing.  If  I  gave  it  to  her,  she  would  want  me  to 
pay  her  something  for  taking  it. 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  59 

I  took  pains  that  the  age-and-station  cap  should 
be  becoming,  and  equally  as  much  pains  to  impress 
it  upon  her  mind  that  it  was  so.  I  contrived  to  com- 
pliment her  on  the  points  in  her  looks  upon  which  1 
saw  that  she  prided  herself. 

Being  pleased  with  herself,  the  cap,  and  the  un- 
presuming  recorder  of  this  event,  I  found  little  diffi- 
culty in  arranging  matters  with  her  purse. 

I  '11  state  how  I  managed  that  matter  of  price  in 
order  that  it  may  stimulate  my  memory  if  I  fall  upon 
similar  circumstances  again  when  I  am  in  a  quan- 
dary about  honesty,  and  don't  know  how  to  act 

In  the  first  place  I  showed  her  each  article  sepa- 
rately, and  asked  her  to  judge  of  the  value,  always 
cautioning  her  to  remember  the  rise  in  the  price  of 
goods,  and  to  judge  of  mine  by  the  rise  in  other 
things.  In  that  way  I  let  her  set  her  own  price, 
which  was  usually  more  than  mine.  If  she  fell  short 
I  added  a  little,  but  not  enough  to  make  her  feel 
that  she  had  committed  an  error.  Or,  I  made  an 
apology,  that  it  could  n't  be  expected  she  could  keep 
the  run  of  every  little  thing  when  prices  were  so 
fluctuating  ;  I  could  n't  do  it  myself. 

In  the  exercise  of  her  vaunted  shrewdness,  if  she 
had  seen  my  reckoning  when  it  was  cast  up,  she 
might  have  congratulated  herself  that  she  paid  me 
a  little  over  a  dollar  more  than  I  would  have  thought 
of  asking  her  if  left  in  the  exercise  of  my  unbiased 
honesty. 

"When  she  got  through  with  her  head-dress,  I  said 
to  her  in  a  low,  confidential  tone,  — 


60  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

"  I  have  something  new  and  very  desirable  in  the 
way  of  bonnets  to  show  you  in  my  private  room." 

She  followed  me  eagerly,  with  the  mother  Eve 
propensity  glittering  in  her  two  eyes,  and  breathing 
through  her  parted  lips. 

I  showed  her  my  imported  bonnets,  and  expati- 
ated largely  on  the  beauties  of  the  one  I  designed 
for  her  especial  adornment.  I  explained  to  her  how 
admirably  the  colors  and  form  were  adapted  to  her 
style  and  complexion.  I  told  her  it  came  high, 
being  imported,  —  so  it  was,  every  item,  even  the 
sewing-silk  with  which  it  was  made.  I  told  her  I 
did  n't  expect  to  make  any  thing,  scarcely  a  living, 
the  first  year,  and  I  carelessly  remarked,  "  You  un- 
derstand why  ?  "  I  did  n't  say  I  was  following  her 
advice  to  sell  cheap ;  if  she  inferred  that  I  intended 
to  it  was  her  own  voluntary  act. 

"  I  presume  I  do,"  was  the  self-satisfied  answer. 

•'  Prices  may  become  an  object  with  ladies  in  your 
position,  in  these  times,"  I  said,  insinuating  that 
generally  they  were  supposed,  owing  to  their  social 
elevation,  to  be  above  caring  for  such  trifles.  She 
did  n't  take  the  hint  I  gave  her  bump  of  calculation 
in  the  way  I  intended,  but  quickly  answered,  — 

"  Certainly  ;  the  price  is  a  very  important  tlvng." 

Instead  of  mustering  pride  to  my  aid,  I  had  stirred 
up  the  ruling  passion  to  oppose  me.  I  made  a  sud- 
den move,  and  without  much  reconnoitring  pitched 
upon  a  more  salient  point.  It  takes  a  woman  to 
understand  the  quicksands  of  a  woman's  vanity.  I 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  61 

stretched  my  net  in  more  shallow  waters.  I  was 
bent  on  hitting,  even  at  the  risk  of  loss  ;  so  I  said 
with  one  of  my  blandest  smiles,  which  was  intended 
to  add  to  the  comeliness  of  my  countenance,  and 
by  my  insinuating  manners  I  endeavored  to  enforce 
the  suggestion  I  was  making,  — 

u  It  is  quite  proper,  indeed  it  is  absolutely  neces- 
sary, when  ladies  are  getting  toward  middle  life,  that 
they  should  pay  a  little  extra  attention  to  their  dress, 
even  at  the  expense  of  what  may  appear  to  be  a  lit- 
tle extravagance." 

I  knew  she  must  be  much  nearer  sixty  than  forty  ; 
but  to  remind  her  of  her  age  without  a  compliment 
attached,  as  a  bait,  would  have  been  ruinous  to  my 
purpose.  To  remind  her  that  she  was  getting  along 
in  years,  and  needed  all  the  advantages  which  dress 
could  bestow  was  the  most  favorable  motive  I  could 
arouse  in  favor  of  disposing  of  my  bonnet. 

"  You  might  try  it  on,  and  see  the  effect,"  I  sug- 
gested. I  was  almost  certain,  if  she  tried  its  effect, 
that  she  would  be  unwilling  to  deny  herself  its  ad- 
vantages. 

"  That  can  do  no  harm ; "  and  in  a  moment  more 
it  triumphantly  crowned  her  imperial  head.  There 
is  no  misuse  of  language  in  that  expression.  When 
her  husband  was  elected  mayor  she  became  a  prin- 
cess of  the  blood  in  the  American  code  of  royalty. 
Triumphant  I  knew  the  bonnet  was  at  the  first 
glance  she  gave  herself  in  the  mirror. 

"  What  is  the  price  ?  "    she  asked  directly. 


82  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

I  hesitated  a  moment,  and  then  told  her  as  much 
as  I  dared  venture.  I  had  no  conscientious  scruples 
against  taking  all  I  could  get ;  but  a  little  apprehen- 
sion arose  in  my  mind  that  her  saving  propensities 
would  receive  so  great  a  shock  as  to  defeat  my  pur- 
pose. She  continued  to  look  at  herself  for  several 
moments  in  rapt  admiration,  the  inner  dual  was  im- 
pudent enough  to.  say  distinctly  to  itself,  but  the 
outer  lips  remarked,  — 

"  That  bonnet  relieves  you  of  ten  years  of  your 

age." 

"  I  think  it  is  becoming.  If  I  conclude  to  take  it 
you  will  abate  something  on  the  price  ?  " 

"  As  it  is  you,  I  suppose  I  must,  a  trifle." 

I  did  n't  say,  or  intend  to  convey  the  idea,  that  it 
was  out  of  personal  esteem  that  I  would  take  some- 
thing off  the  price.  Neither  did  I  think  it  necessary 
to  state,  in  order  to  be  sincere,  that  I  would  take  it 
off  because,  owing  to  her  character,  that  was  the  bet- 
ter way  to  get  on  with  her. 

After  studying  upon  it  awhile,  she  said,  "  I  'm  not 
in  the  habit  of  committing  such  an  extravagance 
as  to  buy  a  French  bonnet,  but  this  one  takes  my 
fancy.  Could  n't  you  get  me  up  one  just  like  it,  and 
make  it  come  a  little  cheaper  ?  " 

"  It  would  be  difficult  for  us  to  give  it  the  real 
French  style  which  characterizes  this.  And  you 
would  n't  want  an  imitation,  —  nothing  short  of  the 
genuine  would  satisfy  you." 

That  was  just  the  argument  to  use.     A  genuine 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  63 

article  was  her  delight.  To  be  imposed  upon  with  a 
spurious  one  aroused  her  strongest  indignation. 

"  Well,  how  much  will  you  take  off?  " 

I  told  her.    Still  she  hesitated. 

"  I  was  n't  intending  to  buy  to-day." 

ult  may  be  gone,"  I  suggested.  "  My  profits  be- 
ing small,  I  am  obliged  to  hurry  my  sales  ;  —  that  is 
why  I  sell  so  cheap."  I  was  in  a  hurry  to  sell  her 
the  bonnet. 

"  Has  any  one  seen  it  ?  " 

"  No.  It  came  in  last  night,  and  you  are  the  first 
lady  who  has  been  in  that  I  thought  would  care  for 
so  nice  a  bonnet." 

"  Perhaps  I  might  as  well  take  it.  I  don't  think, 
if  I  should  go  the  whole  town  over,  that  I  could  find 
any  thing  to  suit  me  better  ;  but  I  might  find  some- 
thing cheaper." 

I  thought  that  I  would  snap  that  bubble,  although 
I  saw  that  the  bonnet  was  sold. 

"  You  might  find  something,  but  if  you  bought  a 
cheaper,  it  would  n't  look  like  this.  And  every  time 
you  put  it  on  your  head  you  would  say  to  yourself, 
How  foolish  J  was  to  buy  a  dowdy  bonnet  for  the 
sake  of  saving  a  few  dollars  !  " 

A  dowdy  bonnet !  horror  of  horrors  !  what  lady 
could  endure  the  thought  and  survive  ! 

She  was  equal  to  me.  "  I  shall  think  of  my  ex- 
travagance every  time  I  put  this  on." 

"  But  you  will  be  able  to  offset  that  unpleasant 
reflection  by  the  knowledge  that  you  have  what  suits 


64  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

you.  If  you  pay  for  what  suits  you,  there  is  some 
comfort  in  it.  You  have  got  what  is  pretty  and  be- 
coming, and  a  genuine  article,  so  there  is  no  money 
wasted.  But  if  you  get  a  bonnet  that  don't  suit,  it  is 
all  wasted.  A  little  more  spent  when  you  are  buy- 
ing pays  you  in  the  comfort  you  take  with  it." 

"  I  know  I  sha'n't  be  satisfied  with  any  thing  short 
of  this,  now  I  have  seen  it,"  was  her  reply  to  that 
argument ;  "  but  I  think  I  '11  let  it  remain  till  I  come 
in  again." 

I  did  n't  know  whether  she  proposed  that  arrange- 
ment to  gain  time  for  reconsideration  of  her  resolu- 
tion to  buy,  or  to  make  further  opportunities  to  be 
running  in.  Either  way,  I  had  no  interest  in  help- 
ing her  carry  out  her  plan.  If  she  reconsidered,  and 
looked  around,  some  one  might  induce  her  to  change 
her  mind.  As  she  made  her  calls  of  "  lengthened 
sweetness  long  drawn  out,"  their  frequency  was  n't 
particularly  desirable.  I  suggested,  — 

"  Some  accident  might  happen  to  it.  The  girls 
are  always  handling  bonnets,  and  ladies  that  come 
in  are  constantly  trying  them.  If  some  one  took  a 
fancy  to  it  they  might  sell  it  when  I  am  out.  The 
safer  way  would  be  to  take  it  if  you  decide  upon  it. 
It  might  get  soiled,  or  sold." 

"  I  have  n't  the  money,  with  me,  to  pay  for  it" 

"  Never  mind  ;   send  it  in  any  time." 

The  supposition  of  possible  harm  hit  in  the  right 
corner,  just  where  her  care-taking  organ  was  located, 
and  the  bonnet  went  into  her  carriage. 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  65 

Victory  !  shouted  the  inner  dual.  It  would  have 
been  undignified  to  have  made  any  outward  demon- 
stration. I  have  conquered  the  most  obstinate  case 
of  tight-fisted  calculation  in  the  whole  town.  I 

o 

have    compassed   the    infinitesimal    calculations   of 
that  soul,  and  outwitted  them. 

The  way  I  have  managed  her  may  seem  unscru- 
pulous to  one  ignorant  of  trade  ;  but  I  must  manage 
such  people  in  some  way,  or  they  will  manage  me 
into  debt,  and  consequent  dishonesty.  It  is  better  to 
manage  them  so,  than  to  come  into  collision  with 

O  * 

them ;  and  quite  as  little  violation  of  good  morals  is 
involved. 

There  is  no  avail  in  grumbling  !  There  is  quite 
an  amount  of  human  nature  displayed  by  most 
women  when  they  want  a  new  bonnet,  especially  if 
they  have  set  their  hearts  on  having  it  nice,  and 
pretty,  and  cheap  at  the  same  time.  Not  even  my 
unexceptional  self  is  exempt  from  the  imputation 
of  human  fallibility  included  in  the  psychological 
division  of  the  affections  which  embrace  the  desire 
to  get  gain  without  outlay.  I  trade  where  I  can  get 
goods  cheapest. 


VII. 

MAY  8, 18—. 

"  I  AM  tired  to  death  ! "  But  it  is  the  wholesome 
fatigue  that  insures  sleep.  I  require  no  medicine  to 
still  my  nerves.  I  go  to  bed,  and  go  off  soundly 
without  a  thought  about  it,  and  I  am  in  the  midst  of 
a  large  boarding-house,  and  the  rumble  and  rattle  of 
the  noisy  streets. 

I  longed  to  tell  my  experience  to  some  ladies  who 
came  in  to-day.  They  sat  a  long  time  recounting 
their  ails,  and  the  number  of  physicians  who  had 
undertaken  to  cure  them.  In  giving  the  pedigree 
of  their  diseases,  I  could  n't  fail  to  notice  that  they 
originated  in  having  nothing  to  do  but  entertain 
themselves.  That  Mrs.  Nothing-to-do  has  been  a 
prolific  mother  of  diseases,  and  Mrs.  Imagination 
has  been  a  successful  dry-nurse  in  bringing  them  to 
maturity. 

Pity  it  is  their  physicians  have  n't  been  honest 
enough  to  prescribe  labor  as  a  cure  ! 

I  told  the  girls  that  labor,  steady,  regular  em- 
ployment, is  the  only  source  of  sound  health  and  real 
comfort. 

I  told  them  they  might  congratulate  themselves 
upon  the  appointment  of  their  lot.  The  workers, 
with  all  their  hardships,  are  happier  than  the  idlers. 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  67 

Exercise  is  necessary  to  promote  growth  in  body 
and  mind.  All  Nature  verifies  the  law.  The  trees 
and  grass  must  be  exercised  by  the  air,  in  order 
to  healthy  growth.  They  work  constantly  in  appro- 
priating their  nourishment ;  unless  they  work  they 
wither  and  die.  Every  leaf,  every  insect  works.  The 
air  and  the  ocean  work.  I  grew  really  eloquent  upon 
the  benefits  of  labor. 

Gracie  listened  till  I  had  exhausted  myself,  if  not 
the  topic ;  then  she  very  modestly  remarked,  — 

"  But  it  is  very  hard  to  be  obliged  to  work  every 
day  for  one's  living." 

The  idea  she  advanced  struck  me,  it  struck  me  so 
hard  that  it  hurt  me.  I  could  not  help  assenting,  al- 
though it  injured  my  satisfactory  apostrophe  on  the 
comeliness  of  labor. 

"  Yes,  Gracie, "  I  said  slowly,  "  you  are  right. 
But  it  is  not  the  labor  that  is  so  hard,  —  it  is  the 
necessity  to  perform  it.  To  be  obliged  to  work  or 
starve  is  a  hard-faced  necessity.  To  be  obliged  to 
work  when  it  is  considered  a  disgrace  to  do  so  is 
very  hard.  For  a  young  girl  to  hang  her  head  in 
shame  because  she  is  obliged  to  do  what  is  right  is 
harder  still ;  but  it  is  a  social  state  of  things  which 
Christians  indorse,  if  they  did  not  institute,  and  for 
which  society  is  responsible." 

I  had  delivered  another  nice  thing :  no  doubt  the 
girls  thought,  how  beautifully  she  can  talk ;  but  the 
inner  dual  stirred  round  in  an  agony  of  depreca- 
tion. 


68  DIARY  -OF  A  MILLINER. 

What  are  you  saying  about  the  responsibility  of 
society  ?  Can  society  go  to  judgment  in  their 
banded  perpetration  of  wrong  to  answer  for  the  sins 
of  a  community  ?  Nonsense  !  What  are  you  saying 
about  social  responsibility  ?  There  are  no  com- 
mands in  the  Bible  to  society.  I  turned  to  Gracie 
again,  and  said  humbly,  — 

"  It  is  very  wrong  for  any  one  to  treat  the  fact  of 
labor  with  disrespect,  and  much  more  so  to  treat  one 
who  labors  so  on  that  account.  You  are  doing  your 
duty  nobly,  in  doing  with  your  might  what  your 
hands  find  to  do,  and  it  is  no  matter  how  others  re- 
gard you  in  consequence  of  it." 

"  But  it  is  of  consequence  how  one  is  regarded  by 
others,  and  it  is  of  great  consequence  whether  one 
is  poor  or  not.  It  would  be  difficult  to  convince  me 
that  it  is  n't  pleasanter  to  be  handsomely  dressed, 
and  ride  around  in  a  carriage,  and  have  plenty  of 
money  to  spend,  and  plenty  of  time  to  read  and  do 
what  you  like,  than  to  be  obliged  to  work  all  day 
for  one's  living,  and  be  stinted  for  money,  and  dress 
meanly,  and  go  on  foot  everywhere,''  said  Gracie 
knowingly. 

"  The  lot  is  cast  into  the  lap,  and  the  whole  order- 
ing thereof  is  of  the  Lord."  We  are  not  told  what 
position  in  this  life,  or  what  worldly  goods  to  strive 
to  obtain.  The  Father  has  reserved  the  appointing 
of  that  to  Himself;  but  He  has  told  us  how  to  be- 
have if  we  are  rich,  and  how  to  behave  if  we  are 
poor.  Our  part  is  to  submit ;  we  must.  We  cannot 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  69 

resist  the  Hand  that  holds  us ;  and  it  is  our  happi- 
ness to  submit  as  good  and  obedient  children.  We 
shall  know  in  the  beyond  why  our  appointment  is 
one  of  labor,  and  that  of  others  one  of  ease." 

"  I  don't  fret  because  I  am  obliged  to  work,"  she 
replied ;  "  it  would  be  of  no  use  ;  I  know  that  money 
is  beyond  my  reach ;  but  that  don't  make  it  any  less 
desirable." 

"It  doubtless  makes  it  more  so.  The  unattain- 
able is  usually  the  most  desirable  in  our  eyes." 

MAY  10, 18—. 

What  a  stretching  and  straining  there  is  among 
our  ladies  after  the  "  Parisian."  In  consequence, 
how  many  camels  do  they  ignorantly  swallow.  It  is 
absolutely  impossible  to  please  without  humbugging 
them.  The  taste  for  the  far-fetched  must  be  grati- 
fied, or  one  cannot  succeed. 

I  am  not  responsible  for  the  taste  ;  I  did  n't  create 
it.  But  you  foster  it  by  pandering  to  it.  I  can- 
not help  it.  The  demand  creates  the  supply.  The 
supply  cannot  regulate  the  demand  under  ordinary 
circumstances.  I  am  to  comply  with  what  the  taste 
of  my  customers  requires;  I  cannot  regulate  their 
tastes.  If  I  thought  them  in  error  it  would  be  a 
dangerous  experiment  for  me  to  attempt  to  correct 
them.  They  would  consider  that  I  was  setting  my 
taste  above  theirs,  and  they  would  ignite  at  once  in 
view  of  their  own  depreciation.  We  must  take  peo- 
ple as  we  find  them,  and  make  the  best  of  them. 


70  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

That  little  minikin-finnikin,  Fannie  Smith,  has 
been  in  again  about  her  flowers  for  the  fourth  time. 

o 

She  thought  her  flowers  were  not  Parisian,  —  she 

O 

was  sure  they  were  not  real  French,  and  she  must 
have  them  changed. 

"  You  like  the  flowers,  do  you  not,"  I  asked,  "  if 
they  were  only  real  French  ?  " 

"  Yes ;  but  Cousin  Annie  says  that  they  are  not 
French,  and  I  think  they  are  not." 

I  was  not  at  all  obliged  to  Cousin  Annie  for  inter- 
esting herself  in  the  matter,  but  as  she  was  n't  under 
my  control,  I  was  obliged  to  counteract  her  influence 
in  the  best  way  I  could. 

It  was  less  trouble  to  convince  her  that  the  flow- 
ers were  French  than  to  change  them.  Indeed  I 
could  n't  change  them  for  the  better.  I  had  nothing 
wherewith  to  do  it.  I  did  n't  know  whether  the 
flowers  were  imported  or  not ;  I  bought  them  for 
French  flowers,  and  I  intended  'to  sell  them  for 
French  flowers. 

I  went  to  a  box  where  a  number  of  old  labels  had 
been  thrown,  —  I  am  obliged  to  keep  such  a  recep- 
tacle for  the  benefit  of  a  certain  class  of  customers, 
—  and  took  out  one  printed  with  blue  ink  in  French. 
Whether  it  was  printed  in  New  York,  where  I 
bought  the  flowers,  or  in  France,  goodness  only 
knows,  I  don't.  The  facilities  for  making  French 
flowers,  and  printing  French  labels  in  New  York 
are  great.  It  would  be  no  far-fetched  conclusion  to 
infer  that  those  were  done  there.  I  am  under  no 
obligation  to  tell  my  customers  my  suppositions. 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  71 

I  took  the  label  to  the  glue-bottle,  wetted  the  end 
of  it,  and  fastened  it  around  the  stem  of  the  bunch 
of  flowers  from  which  hers  were  taken.  I  kept  her 
entertained  with  a  new  Paris  fashion-plate  till  the 
glue  was  dry.  Then  I  showed  the  flowers,  compared 
them  with  hers,  and  exhibited  the  French  label  at- 
tached. Her  skepticism  was  vanquished.  She  was 
convinced  by  such  proof  that  her  flowers  were  of 
no  doubtful  origin. 

She  departed  hugging  to  herself  the  comforting 
assurance  that  she  wore  "  real  French  flowers."  My 
risibles  remained  in  a  quiescent  state  in  view  of  her 
vanity,  and  my  own  effrontery.  Nor  does  my  con- 
science reproach  me  in  revision  of  my  act.  Perhaps 
it  has  passed  through  the  searing  process  necessary 
to  destroy  sensibility.  It  is  certainly  able  to  endure 
a  very  high  temperature  at  present. 

In  examining  the  matter  closely,  I  really  think  I 
performed  a  virtuous  and  amiable  act  in  humbug- 
ging the  little  thing.  She  was  in  depths  of  trouble, 
and  very  miserable  when  she  came  in  the  'store.  I 
relieved  her  mind  of  its  burden,  and  sent  her  on 
her  way  rejoicing.  I  congratulate  myself  that  this 
day's  low-descending  sun  has  seen  from  my  hand 
one  worthy  action  done. 

Still,  in  charging  my  accounts  of  right  and  wrong, 
I  hardly  know  on  which  page  to  make  the  entry. 
I  think  it  must  be  on  the  right.  I  had  no  other 
flowers  wherewith  to  satisfy  the  child,  and  the  label 
did. 


VIII. 

MAY  12, 18—. 

"  You  are  a  Christian !  "  said  Gracie  to  me  to-day 
after  I  had  borne  a  two  hours  haggling  over  the 
price  of  a  bonnet,  and  received  a  great  many  imper- 
tinent remarks  the  while. 

t  "  Why  so  ?  "  not  that  I  did  n't  take  her  meaning  ; 
but  I  liked  to  hear  what  she  thought  of  the  exhibi- 
tion we  two  duals  had  furnished  her. 

"  To  stand  there  and  let  that  woman  try  to  injure 
you  in  that  way,  without  saying  a  word  !  "  she  replied 
in  great  indignation. 

"  Did  you  think  she  meant  to  injure  me.?  " 
"  Certainly  !  what  else  could  she  mean  ?  " 
"  I  think  she  meant   to  get  her  bonnet  cheaper 
than  I  offered  it.     She  had  no  wish  to  injure  me. 
She  forgot  that  I  was  any  thing  but  an  automaton 
bonnet-seller,  out  of  whom  it  was  incumbent  upon 
her,  in  doing  her  duty  to  herself,  to  make  the  best 
bargain  that  she  could.     She  was  so  self-engrossed 
that  she  never  thought  of  my  feelings  or  interests  at 
all." 

"  If  I  had  been  in  your  place  I  would  have  let  her 
know  with  whom  she  was  dealing ;  how  saucy  she 
was ! " 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  73 

"  Her  manner  was  low-bred,  and  disagreeable. 
She  was  evidently  ignorant  of  any  other  way  to  be- 
have, and  I  did  my  best,  by  my  example,  to  teach 
her  better." 

"  Teach  her  better  !  "  my  little  woman  exclaimed, 
as  though  the  very  idea  were  preposterous. 

"  Well,  Gracie,  if  I  could  n't  teach  her  better  by 
keeping  my  temper.  I  certainly  could  n't  by  losing  it, 
and  that  would  be  strictly  my  own  loss." 

It  is  a  popular  saying  that  sins  of  ignorance  God 
winks  at.  I  don't  know  how  that  may  be  ;  but  if  I 
am  literally  to  follow  such  an  example,  I  might  as 
well  send  my  eyelids,  at  once,  to  the  Patent  Office  to 
secure  the  right  of  perpetual  motion. 

Taking  it  for  granted  that  I  am  to  be  kept  in  a 
state  of  perpetual  winking,  my  eyes  must  necessarily 
find  intermediate  space  between  the  opening  and 
shutting  of  the  lids  wherein  to  make  observations, 
and  draw  inferences. 

It  cannot  be  fairly  assumed  that  winks  are  blind- 
ness, though  many  are  disposed  so  to  construe  them, 
and  behave  as  though  the  Almighty,  and  all  of  His 
creatures  were  blindfolded,  which  is  not  the  kind  of 
wink  under  consideration. 

Winks,  like  all  other  human  actions,  may  be  in- 
ferred to  possess  character  which  will  admit  of  being 
resolved  into  classes. 

A  charitable  wink  at  the  faults  of  others  might 
be  construed,  by  the  faulty,  into  ignorance  or  blind- 
ness, and  unless  one  is  wary  he  may  be  taken  ad- 


74  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

vantage  of.  An  educated  ignorance  or  blindness 
may  be  useful  knowledge  to  a  store-keeper,  without 
one  jot  of  principle  in  its  exercise.  A  proper,  dis- 
cretionary use  of  policy,  to  give  it  useful  direction,  is 
all  that  is  necessary.  It  would  be  entirely  super- 
fluous  to  inform  the  winked-at  of  his  mistake,  if  he 
supposed  the  shop-keeper  blind. 

The  greatest  ignorance,  the  most  profound  un- 
wisdom, in  the  aforesaid  public  and  prominent  per- 
son of  store-keeper,  would  be  to  allow  his  winks  of 
ridicule,  contempt,  or  resentment,  to  make  an  ego- 
tistic display  of  their  aptitude  in  the  way  of  obser- 
vation. 

A  large  part  of  the  impertinence  which  customers 
display  is  chargeable  to  that  distinguished,  but  irre- 
sponsible character  denominated  Education. 

The  first  lesson  which  a  child  is  taught  in  shopping 
is,  to  get  as  much  candy  as  possible  for  his  penny. 
He  is  taught  to  pick  over  a  basket  of  oranges,  and 
to  select  the  largest  and  fairest  for  his  penny.  If  the 
candy  is  broken  or  the  orange  has  a  speck  of  decay 
in  it,  the  shop-keeper  is  berated  for  a  cheat.  On  that 
model  the  shopping  manners  of  the  child  are  formed. 

Well,  let  the  wink  of  charity  cover  that  woman's 
ignorance,  because  the  sore  of  vexation  has  not  ar- 
rived at  suppuration. 

MAY  15, 18— . 

To  get  fine  dress'has  been  said,  by  some  uncharita- 
ble reformer  of  the  male  gender,  to  be  the  chief  end 
of  woman.  How  much  precious  time  has  been 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  75 

spent  by  that  benevolent  class  of  persons  for  the 
reform  of  the  gentler  sex.  It  is  really  astonishing 
what  an  amount  of  gratuitous  effort  has  been  put 
forth  in  its  behalf. 

It  is  to  be  desperately  feared  where  so  much  has 
been  attempted  abroad  that  homesteads  have  been 
neglected.  Indeed,  we  have  actually  seen  unsightly 
weeds  and  thorns  growing  in  the  same  soil  with  the 
tree  of  knowledge,  —  i.  e.,  knowledge  of  woman's 
short-comings.  Rack  and  ruin  have  actually  come 
before  the  face  and  eyes  of  the  female  pupil,  upon 
her  transcendent  reformer's  native  paradise,  and  so 
blind  was  he  to  the  state  of  things  at  home  that  the 
weeds  and  thorns  had  shaped  themselves  into  the 
tree  of  life  before  his  imagination. 

'•  To  be  wise  in  our  own  eyes,  to  be  wise  in  the 
eyes  of  the  world,  and  to  be  wise  in  the  eyes  of  our 
Creator,  are  three  things  so  very  different  as  rarely 
to  coincide,"  was  one  of  the  old  saws  in  vogue  in  my 
childhood. 

Generous  manhood  !  to  compass  its  own  downfall 
in  favor  of  woman's  salvation  !  But  keen  as  man's 
penetration  into  woman's  faults  has  been,  other  re- 
connoitering  has  been  more  thorough.  My  field  of 
observation  has  been  carried  farther  still  into  the 
enemy's  quarters,  and  spied  out  a  stronghold  of  sin 
which  man  has  never  discovered,  or,  at  least,  never 
spoken  of.  Probably  the  reason  of  the  obliquity 
of  his  vision  in  this  direction,  was  owing  to  inner 
blindness,  the  disease  that  originates  within  the 
purse. 


76  DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER. 

The  reformers,  having  pertinent  reasons  for  leav- 
ing their  own  mental  blindness  unmedicated,  those 
same  reasons  have  operated  to  avoid  making  attack 
on  woman's  foible  in  the  quarter  referred  to,  and  also 
have  been  the  occasion  of  overlooking  the  occupa- 
tion of  the  stronghold.  But  in  order  to  victory  all 
strongholds  must  be  taken.  If  ever  woman  is  re- 
deemed, she  must  be  cleansed  from  all  sin.  I  there- 
fore respectfully  recommend  to  all  generals  com- 
manding, that  this  point  of  fortification  in  wrong- 
doing be  immediately  besieged.  I  would  recom- 
mend that  all  the  guns  in  the  reforming  service,  of 
all  grades,  be  immediately  brovight  to  bear  upon  it ; 
all,  from  the  thundering  cannon  to  the  little  lead  pop- 
gun, in  one  grand  trial  of  military  skill,  and  see  if  it 
can  be  reduced  to  submission. 

We  allow,  for  the  sake  of  appearing  amiable,  that 
the  chief  end  of  woman  is  to  get  fine  dress,  and  that 
the  chief  end  is  reprehensible.  Now  I  wish  to  have 
conceded,  not  on  the  score  of  amiability,  but  of  truth, 
because  I  wish  to  have  my  statement  based  upon  a 
sure  foundation,  that  she  has  a  chiefer  end,  and  that 
chiefer  end  is  to  get  fine  dress  cheap. 

The  chief  obstacle  in  obtaining  this  concession 
from  male  reformers  will  be  blindness  to  the  fault 
which  disease  of  blindness  originates,  as  I  have  be- 

O  '         ' 

fore  stated,  in  the  purse.  As  their  purses  usually 
furnish  the  means  by  which  woman  obtains  fine 
dress  the  strings  will,  in  the  involuntary  contraction 
which f  is  a  development  of  the  disease,  be  drawn 
tightly  over  the  pupils  of  the  eye,  so  as  to  exclude 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  77 

the  view  of  the  fault.  The  disease  runs  higher  than 
blindness.  Like  most  of  the  devices  of  Satan  to 
blind  men's  minds,  this  fault  assumes  the  form  of  a 
virtue,  and  robed  in  the  beautiful  garment  of 
economy  stands  out  before  men's  eyes  in  command- 
ing admiration.  And  it  is  admired,  and  praised,  and 
flattered,  and  rolled  upon  the  tongue  as  a  very  sweet 
morsel. 

Undoubtedly  one  reason  of  the  different  view 
which  male  reformers  take  of  the  chiefer  end  of 
woman  from  what  I  do,  is  the  different  way  in  which 
we  stand  affected  by  it.  I  must  adhere  to  my  origi- 
nal opinion  as  to  the  chiefer  end,  and  its  chiefer  rep- 
rehensibility,  because  that  fault  interferes  more  with 
my  interests  than  the  fault  of  the  chief  end.  It  ap- 
peals also  more  forcibly  to  my  philanthropy.  I  see 
that  the  indulgence  of  it  involves  the  destruction 

O 

of  woman's  honesty,  while  the  former  sin  only  com- 
prise ,  the  deifying  of  her  vanity,  which  comes  under 
the  lesser  head  of  idolatry. 

Time  will  prove  whether  male  reformers  will  con- 
cede my  point  or  not,  but  it  is  fairly  to  be  supposed 
that  they  will  not.  Because  a  man  convinced 
against  his  will  is  of  the  same  opinion  still,  and  he 
wills  to  remain  blind,  for  the  reason  that  his  blind- 
ness saves  him  the  trouble  and  expense  of  correct- 
ing woman's  chiefer  fault,  —  which  reformation  it 
lies  in  his  power  to  correct  by  furnishing  sufficient 
means  to  obviate  the  necessity  of  her  practising 
such  arts  as  she  does  to  accomplish  her  chiefer  end. 


IX. 

MAY  20, 18  — . 

THAT  doctrine  of  total  depravity,  which  bore  with 
such  weight  upon  the  theological  discussions  of  rev- 
erend divines  in  my  younger  days,  —  it  has  lost  its 
prestige  in  later  years,  —  was  always  a  stumbling- 
block  in  the  way  of  my  belief. 

I  was  always  a  little  skeptical  about  its  orthodoxy, 
owing  to  the  overflowing  affection  with  which  youth 
is  endowed  for  all  human  things.  I  have  been  led 
to  reconsider  my  juvenile  speculations,  in  the  light 
of  maturity,  or,  in  other  words,  in  the  character  of 
womankind  as  presented  to  me  through  the  glass 
of  business,  and  I  find  that  the  doctrine  assumes 
greater  plausibility. 

The  change  has  n't  been  wrought  by  any  special 
work  of  grace  in  my  heart.  My  convictions  have 
come  altogether  through  the  agency  of  my  senses, 
the  organs  of  sight  and  hearing.  To  define.  These 
agencies  having  been  employed  in  making  obser- 
vations, while  I  was  engaged  in  selling  bonnets, upon 
the  human  instrumentalities  that  bought  them. 

I  am  not  putting  down  descriptions  of  these  sam- 
ples of  total  depravity,  in  order  to  compare  the  dif- 
ferent degrees  manifested  by  the  different  persons ; 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER,  79 

but  to  note  the  variety  of  talent  put  forth  by  each 
to  compass  its  object.  I  am  a  great  admirer  of 
talent,  hence  my  disposition  to  analyze,  understand, 
and  preserve  a  record  of  its  capabilities. 

Really  the  difference  in  the  quality  of  sins  com- 
mitted by  depraved  humanity,  rests  chiefly  in  the 
different  tastes  of  those  who  commit  them.  It  seems 
to  me  that  in  woman  the  total  depravity  crops  out 
more  luxuriantly  in  the  exercise  of  shopping  than 
in  any  other  way.  The  opinion  may  be  attrib- 
utable to  the  point  of  vision  from  which  I  view  it, 
and  the  atmosphere  through  which  I  look. 

Self-interest  is  not  a  good  telescope,  its  opera- 
tions being  directed  to  objects  too  far  off;  but  the 
microscope  is  an  exceedingly  useful  instrument,  it  is 
so  easily  applied  to  objects  at  hand.  I  have  no  par- 
ticular motive  in  examining  the  morals  of  those  with 
whom  I  have  nothing  to  do,  unless  it  is  in  a  general 
way  when  I  give  a  dissertation  on  the .  sins  of  com- 
munities. Then,  it  is  very  convenient  to  make  a 
packhorse  of  some  remote  region,  but  it  is  very  de- 
sirable to  see  those  with  whom  I  deal  every  day 
manifest  a  high  moral  standard. 

To-day  brought  me  one  of  the  oily  type  of  de- 
praved humanity,  to  see  how  cheap  she  could  get 
a  bonnet  done  over. 

The  first  thing  she  told  me  was  how  cheaply  she 
could  get  it  done  elsewhere ;  she  spoke  with  a  voice 
sweet  and  soft  as  a  rippling  rivulet.  That  is  a  fa- 
vorite method  to  cheapen  goods,  a  nice  little  birch 


80  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

argument  to  hold  over  the  head  of  a  tradeswoman. 
The  very  first  stroke  set  my  nerves  ajar.  If  any 
one  thing  more  than  another  will  arouse  my  human 
nature  it  is  a  threat.  It  was  an  old  bonnet,  and 
would  make  us  more  trouble  to  do  than  we  should 
get  pay  for  ;-  but  I  would  n't  have  minded  that  if  she 
had  shown  any  mercy  in  using  her  rod. 

She  had  improvised  herself  into  a  penny-post  to 
report  the  affairs  of  my  neighbors.  Was  it  for  my 
benefit,  or  her  own  ?  I  could  n't  take  oath  upon 
that  point,  because  no  court  will  allow  a  witness  to 
swear  as  to  other  people's  thoughts,  but  I  should  be 
perfectly  willing  to  affirm  as  to  my  opinion.  Her 
despatches  were  not  official,  and  I  did  n't  feel  dis- 
posed to  pay  for  them,  especially  as  they  contained 
matter  of  no  importance  to  me. 

I  told  her  pointedly  that  I  had  nothing  to  do  with 
regulating  prices  in  other  stores ;  but  I  must  cer- 
tainly be  judge  of  them  in  my  own. 

"  I  like  your  styles,"  she  said,  smooth  as  oil,  de- 
termined not  to  be  bluffed  ;  "  but  I  really  can't 
afford  to  pay  your  prices." 

I  made  no  farther  reply,  but  waited  what  I 
thought  a  reasonable  time  for  her  to  co:ne  to  a  con- 
clusion ;  but  she  stepped  about  looking  over  the 
shop.  At  every  step  she  took  her  boots  gave  out  a 
little  creak  that  made  me  shiver  all  over.  I  found 
there  was  no  such  thing  as  finishing  her  up  in  the 
ordinary  way.  I  must  take  her  on  some  original 
tack  if  I  were  to  get  rid  of  her  without  putting 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  81 

down  my  price.  She  was  determined  to  have  my 
styles,  and  equally  determined  not  to  pay  for  them. 
I  was  obliged  to  resort  to  stratagem  to  bring  mat- 
ters to  a  head. 

Query :  If  stratagems  are  allowable  in  love  and 
war,  why  not  in  trade  ? 

I  looked  her  all  over  with  a  decided  stare,  so  that 
she  might  notice  that  I  was  examining  her  dress. 
Then  I  threw  as  strong  an  expression  of  pity  into 
my  countenance  as  I  could  command,  and  modulat- 
ing my  voice  to  a  low  tone,  said,  — 

"  1  think,  from  your  manner  of  talking,  you  must 
be  poor.  If  that  is  the  case  you  need  n't  be  afraid 
to  tell  me,  and  I  will  consider  you.  As  we  are 
strangers  I  don't  know  how  you  are  situated ;  but  in 
my  poorest  days  I  never  turned  my  back  upon  the 
needy.  If  you  have  n't  the  means  to  make  yourself 
tidy  for  church,  I  will  do  your  bonnet  for  cost ;  or 
will  give  you  the  whole,  if  it  will  distress  you  to  pay 
for  it." 

She  tried  hard  to  interrupt  me  ;  but  I  went  rap- 
idly forward  to  propound  my  benevolent  intentions. 

"  Oh  don't  thank  me !  indeed,  I  don't  deserve 
thanks !  I  am  only  fulfilling  the  command  to  help 
those  that  need  help,  and  to  be  kind.  I  always  feel 
richer  after  I  have  helped  some  poor  woman  to  get 
a  living.  I  feel  as  though  I  had  deposited  in  a  safe 
bank  when  I  've  given  to  the  poor.  I  feel  as  though 
I  had  laid  up  something  to  fall  back  upon  if  I  should 
be  poor  and  needy  myself." 
6 


82  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

I  was  obliged  to  pause  here  to  restore  equilibrium 
to  my  lungs.  She  broke  in  upon  the  silence,  which 
my  necessity  enjoined,  with  a  vehement  disclaimer, — 

"  I  am  not  an  object  of  charity  !  " 

I  had  a  very  strong  suspicion  at  the  commence- 
ment of  my  address  that  she  was  not.  I  did  n't  know 
her  name,  but  I  had  seen  her  in  church  in  the  same 
slip  for  several  consecutive  Sabbaths.  She  had  sat 
beside  a  well-dressed,  middle-aged  man  whom  I  took 

O 

to  be  her  husband.  Both  had  a  well-to-do  air,  and 
bore  unmistakable  signs  of  having  a  competence. 

"  Beg  your  pardon,  ma'am,  if  I  mistook  the  bear- 
ing of  your  remarks,"  I  went  on  meekly.  Then  1 
turned  my  tone  to  one  of  anxiety :  "  I  really  begin 
to  have  serious  apprehensions  that  this  whole  com- 
munity are  becoming  paupers.  Can  you  inform  me 
if  that  is  so  ?  " 

"  Paupers  !  what  do  you  mean  ?  "  she  asked,  in 
apparent  terror  at  the  supposititious  calamity  that 
was  spreading  itself  over  her  beloved  city. 

"There  used  to  be  abundance,  more  than  that, 
wealth  in  this  city.  Now  I  hear  but  one  continuous 
cry  of  poverty.  I  was  wondering  what  kind  of  ac- 
commodations could  be  provided  if  the  whole  com- 
munity should  be  thrown  upon  the  city  authorities 
for  support." 

"  I  am  no  pauper !  "  she  indignantly  exclaimed, 
"  and  never  expect  to  be  !  " 

"  I  am  glad  to  hear  that  assertion ; "  I  answered 
gravely.  "  My  mind  is  relieved  of  one  anxiety.  Now 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  83 

we  will  see  what  your  bonnet  needs  in  order  to  make 
it  becoming  in  the  present  era  of  fashion,  to  you, 
and  to  your  independent  station  in  life." 

"  It  is  true  we  are  in  independent  circumstances, 
but  I  think  it  is  a  duty  to  be  economical,"  she  said  ; 
a  little  doubtful  of  my  meaning,  but  perfectly  col- 
lected as  to  her  own  purposes. 

She  was  determined  to  stick  to  me  like  warm 
sealing-wax,  till  she  accomplished  her  purpose ;  I 
thought  I  might  as  well  make  entertainment  for  the 
inner  dual,  —  I  could  turn  her  to  little  account  for 
the  outer,  —  so  I  went  on  to  ask,  — 

"  TVhat  is  your  idea  of  economy  ?  There  are  so 
many  definitions  of  the  word  that  one  gets  confused 
as  to  the  meaning  of  it,  in  applying  it  to  his  own 
use." 

"  Economy !  "  she  exclaimed  in  astonishment  at 
my  ignorance.  "  I  should  think  any  simpleton 
might  understand  that !  How  are  you  going  to  get 
along  in  trade  if  you  don't  practice  economy  !  " 

"  I  have  my  own  ideas  of  the  virtue,  and  its  appli- 
cation to  every-day  life.  I  asked  yours,  thinking  I 
might  learn  something  new  about  it." 

Don't  impute  naughtiness  to  me  in  this  under- 
hand thrust.  It  is  sufficient  punishment  and  morti- 
fication to  be  convicted  of  malice  by  my  own  con- 
science when  I  was  laying  the  flattering  unction  to 
my  soul,  that  I  was  drawing  out  her  ideas,  in  order 
to  enlighten  her  ignorance,  and  elevate  her  morals 
to  broader  views  and  practice. 


84  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  It  is  very  easy  to  define  economy,"  she  answered 
in  good  faith,  "  it  is  to  save  all  you  can,  and  make 
every  thing  go  as  far  as  you  can." 

"  In  every  direction,  out  of  every  one  with  whom 
you  have  to  do,  and  save  it  for  yourself  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Certainly !  I  guess  you  understand  it,  all  milli- 
ners do.  They  get  their  work  done  for  nothing,  and 
then  charge  an  awful  price  for  it." 

I  looked  up  to  see  Grade's  eyes  snap  and  her 
lips  part.  That  restored  me  to  self-possession  before 
I  spoke.  I  smiled  at  the  girl's  red  face,  which  man- 
ifested the  workings  of  the  inner  dual,  and  went  on 
quietly  to  answer  my  customer's  last  remark. 

"  I  can  answer  for  only  one  milliner ;  I  pay  my 
girls  the  highest  wages  that  any  can  command.  I 
don't  leave  it  there,  I  see  to  it  that  it  is  enough  to 
feed  and  lodge  them  well,  and  then  that  there  is  re- 
mainder left  to  clothe  them  comfortably." 

"  I  suppose  you  work  them  early  and  late  to  make 
up  for  your  care  ;  that 's  the  way  other  milliners  do." 

"  If  they  are  well  fed  they  are  bright  and  active 
through  the  whole  season.  That  is  one  of  my  ideas 
of  economy ;  and  they  can't  get  good  board  unless 
they  get  wages  enough  to  pay  for  it.  If  other  mil- 
liners oppress  the  hireling  in  his  wages,  I  am  not 
responsible  for  it.  As  to  working  early  and  late,  I 
never  allow  them  here  over  ten  hours,  and  I  pre- 
sume if  you  keep  a  servant,  that  you  get  fourteen 
at  least,  out  of  her,  and  get  her  just  as  cheap  as  you 
can." 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  85 

"  I  pay  my  girls  as  much  as  I  can  afford  to.  If 
they  don't  like  the  wages  I  pay  they  can  go  where 
vthey  can  get  more."  She  ignited  at  once  at  my  re- 
mark ;  but  I  was  expected  to  hear  meekly,  without 
reply,  revilings  which  I  had  brought  on  my  head  by 
belonging  to  a  craft.  Well,  well !  Poor  dog  Tray 
suffered  for  the  company  he  kept.  "  I  know  best 
what  I  can  afford  to  pay.  And  I  mean  to  keep  'em 
busy,  to  keep  'em  out  of  mischief,  if  nothing  else." 

"  That  is  all  I  claim  to  be  allowed  to  do,  to  regu- 
late the  affairs  in  my  own  domain,  set  my  own 
prices,  pay  my  girls  what  I  think  best,  and  work 
them  as  hard  as  I  please." 

"  My  goodness  !  if  you  don't  work  them  but  eight 
or  ten  hours  you  '11  certainly  fail."  She  was  getting 
deeply  interested  in  my  affairs.  "  I  had  two  milli- 
ners board  with  me  over  two  years,  and  they  never 
got  home,  in  the  busy  time,  Saturday  nights,  till  after 
twelve  o'clock.'" 

"  My  economy  does  n't  operate  in  that  way  ;  I  am 
such  a  stupid  thing  that  I  get  tired  and  sleepy  after 
ten  hours  of  diligent  work,  and  what  I  can  accom- 
plish after  that  is  of  little  worth.  If  I  rob  myself 
of  rest  to  do  that  little,  my  fatigue  extends  to  the 
next  day,  and  I  can't  accomplish  more  than  half  as 
much  as  I  would  to  have  left  off  the  night  before  in 
proper  season,  and  taken  my  rest.  I  judge  my  girls 
by  myself.  You  see  what  poor  economy  it  would 
be  for  me  to  overwork  them." 

''  People  do  stand  it  to  work  so  all  their  days,  and 
make  money  by  it." 


86  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"Yes,  ma'am;  but  it  depends  something  upon 
the  kind  of  work  that  is  done,  and  something  upon 
the  constitution  of  the  person  working,  how  many 
those  days  will  prove  to  be,  if  twenty  hours  out  of" 
twenty-four  are  devoted  to  hard  work.  If  he  is  ex- 
ercising in  the  open  air,  the  same  individual  will 
bear  a  much  greater  strain  upon  his  health  than  if 
he  were  sitting  in-doors,  working  in  a  confined  at- 
mosphere. You  must  have  observed  that  most  in- 
door hard-workers  break  down  at,  or  before,  middle 
life.  Another  consideration  to  be  taken  into  the  ac- 
count is,  who  one  is  working  for  ;  it  requires  double 
the  outlay  of  strength  to  do  the  same  work  for  an- 
other, that  it  does  for  one's  self.  I  know  just  how  I 
want  my  own  work  done,  and  all  I  have  to  do  is  to 
execute  it  according  to  the  idea  formed,  and  that  is 
distinctly  before  my  mind.  In  doing  for  another,  I 
must  exert  myself  to  understand  his  idea,  then  the 
care  to  execute  it  according  to  the  imperfect  concep- 
tion which  I  must  necessarily  form  of  the  model  of 
another,  is  greater  in  the  fear  that  I  may  not  exe- 
cute it  according  to  his  design.  The  increase  of 
care  produces  increase  of  fatigue,  or  exhaustion  of 
vital  energy." 

She  did  n't  seem  at  all  to  comprehend  what  I  was 
saying ;  my  economy  took  so  entirely  different  a 
range  from  the  beaten  track  in  which  her  own  had 
always  travelled.  She  thought  she  must  say  some- 
thing more  in  defense  of  her  position.  Her  reply 
was  characteristic. 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  87 

"  I  think  if  girls  can  play  they  can  work,  and  if 
you  don't  keep  them  at  work  they  are  running  the 
streets,  and  getting  into  mischief.  For  my  part,  I 
think  it  is  best  to  keep  girls  at  work  till  they  are 
tired  enough  to  go  to  bed." 

"  As  to  running  the  streets,  that  is  the  very  best 
thing  my  girls  can  do  after  sitting  all  day  bent  over 
their  work.  By  all  means  let  them  straighten  them- 
selves and  run!  It  does  n't  follow  at  all  that  they 
must  get  into  mischief.  Good  girls  will  be  good 
everywhere,  and  bad  ones  will  be  bad  anywhere." 

Still  she  kept  step-stepping,  and  her  boots  creak- 
creaking.  I  was  half  distracted  ;  and  in  my  desper- 
ation I  resolved,  if  her  selfishness  had  a  salient 
point,  to  touch  it  on  the  quick.  I  took  up  the  axe, 
and  gave  another  blow  with  all  of  my  might  at  what 
I  thought  was  the  root  of  the  tree.  I  spattered  a  lit- 
tle cant  on  my  hands,  so  that  the  handle  would  n't 
slip  and  glance  from  the  telling  direction.  Then 
I  went  to  work,  and  dealt  blow  upon  blow,  till  the 
perspiration  oozed  from  my  face  in  running  streams. 

"  I  consider  the  effort  to  get  all  one  can  out  of 
every  other  person,  without  regard  to  what  is  given 
in  return,  just  stealing  in  order  to  gratify  covetous- 
ness  ;  breaking  two  commandments  at  once.  If  I 
do  your  work  for  little  or  nothing,  or  economically, 
as  you  call  it,  I  must  pay  my  girls  economically  and 
work  them  hard.  I  have  no  disposition  to  become 
like  the  task-masters  of  Egypt ;  nor  will  I  do  it  if 
I  starve.  Neither  am  I  willing  to  come  under  such 


88  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

a  task-master  as  you.  If  you  are  willing  to  pay  rne 
a  fair  price,  so  that  I  can  live  honestly  and  honorably 
among  my  fellows,  I  should  like  to  do  your  work,  and 
will  do  it  to  the  best  of  my  ability.  But  if  you  are 
determined  to  live  all  you  can  out  of  me,  and,  in 
consequence,  compel  me  to  live  as  little  as  possible 
myself,  I  prefer  that  you  should  go  somewhere  else. 
I  presume  you  will  find  plenty  of  your  own  moral 
calibre  to  deal  with.  Now  you  understand  me." 

"  I  hope  you  are  not  offended,"  she  said  apologet- 
ically, in  her  liquid  tone.  I  suppose  she  thought 
herself  the  very  personification  of  Christian  charity 
and  forbearance.  "  A  soft  answer  turneth  away 
wrath."  Her  words  were  soft  as  melted  butter,  but 
sharp  as  a  razor.  My  righteous  indignation  was 
not  to  be  so  appeased. 

"  No,  ma'am,  I  'm  not  offended,  but  I  'd  like  to 
have  you  decide  about  your  bonnet,  as  my  time  is 
my  money,  and  I  must  be  saving  of  it." 

"  I  will  leave  the  bonnet.  You  look  honest,  and 
such  outspoken  folks  generally  are.  But  you  '11  do 
it  as  cheap  as  you  can,  won't  you  ? "  she  turned 
and  asked  when  she  had  creaked  half  the  length  of 
the  store  toward  the  door. 

I  gave  her  a  parting  smile  as  I  said,  "  Yes,  ma'am." 
The  smile  was  not  one  of  approbation  ;  it  was  called 
up  by  her  display  of  the  ruling  passion  in  her  last 
injunction. 


X. 

MAY  21,  18  — . 

THE  girls  were  having  a  great  frolic  when  I  came 
in  this  morning,  over  a  little,  mean,  pinched-up  look- 
ing bonnet  which  they  had  found  lying  on  the  table. 
Each  was  accusing  the  others  of  taking  it  in,  and 
denying  the  doing  it  herself.  They  were  so  much 
engaged  in  their  fun  as  not  to  see  me  till  I  stood  in 
the  midst  of  them.  When  they  saw  me  they  dis- 
played its  comicalities,  and  asked  me  where  it 
came  from.  A  little  shiver  of  discomfort  went  all 
over  me.  I  did  n't  reprove  them,  because  they 
knew  nothing  of  the  history  of  the  bonnet,  and  I 
knew  the  whole  of  it. 

I  replied  very  quietly  that,  "  I  took  it." 

"  But  we  can't  do  any  thing  with  it,"  they  all  ex- 
claimed in  a  breath.  "  It  is  so  rotten  it  won't  hold 
together  to  do  over,  and  there  is  n't  any  thing  of  it." 

"  Wait  awhile,  girls,  till  I  tell  you  the  story  of  that 
bonnet."  I  put  away  my  own,  and  sat  down.  "  Two 
days  ago  a  poorly  but  tidily  dressed  girl  came  in, 
and  stood  shyly  at  the  lower  end  of  the  shop.  I 
thought  she  was  afraid  to  come  up,  and  was  watch- 
ing a  chance  to  speak  to  me ;  so  I  went  toward  her, 
and  asked  if  she  wanted  any  thing." 


90  DIARY  OF  A    MILLINER. 

u  She  looked  up  timidly,  but  still  held  back  what 
she  had  in  her  hand.  '  I  'm  afraid,'  she  said,  '  to 
show  you  my  bonnet,  —  I  'm  afraid  you  '11  laugh  at 
it,  and  I  'm  afraid  it  can't  be  done  over.' 

"  I  drew  her  a  little  one  side,  and  told  her  not  to 
be  afraid  ;  I  would  n't  laugh  at  it. 

"  You  ought  to  have  seen  her  watch  me  when  I 
took  it.  Her  look  was  as  eager  as  though  life  and 
death  hung  upon  what  I  said  about  it. 

"  I  asked  her,  if  that  was  all  the  bonnet  she  had  ; 
and  she  said, '  Yes.' 

"  I  asked, '  Can't  you  earn  money  to  buy  a  better 
one  ?' 

"  She  said, '  Yes,  but  I  can't  spare  it.' 

"  I  asked,  '  Why  ? ' 

"  She  replied  '  I  have  to  support  the  whole  of 
them  now ;  mother  is  sick,  and  can't  help  me  at 
all.'  Then  she  added  in  a  tone  of  disappointment, '  I 
meant  to  have  me  a  real  pretty  bonnet  this  spring, 
and  I  could  if  mother  had  n't  been  taken  sick.  But 
this  one  must  do  now,  I  can't  possibly  get  another. 
I  don't  want  to  stay  away  from  meeting  and  Sun- 
day-school.' 

"  I  asked  her  what  she  did,  and  where  she  worked ; 
and  I  Ve  been  down  this  morning  to  see  if  she  told 
the  truth.  Her  employer  gave  her  an  excellent 
character,  and  said  she  was  very  industrious,  — 
that  she  had  been  working  extra  hours  for  two 
months." 

"I'm    sorry  I  made   fun   of  the   bonnet,"   said 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  91 

Grade  with  tears  in  her  eyes.  "I  thought  it  be- 
longed to  some  stingy  old  Putty-mutty-fudge-poor, 
like  that  India-rubber  woman  that  was  in  yester- 
day." 

"  I  called  the  girl  out.  She  was  pale  with  terror 
when  she  saw  me.  '  0  don't  tell  me  you  can't  do 
any  thing  with  my  bonnet/  she  exclaimed. 

"  I  told  her  I  thought  we  could  fit  up  her  bonnet, 
and  that  I  came  to  ask  where  her  mother  lived,  so 
that  I  could  go  and  see  her. 

"  She  told  me  ;  but  added,  '  I  don't  think  she  can 
do  any  work  for  you,  she  is  too  sick.' 

"  I  went  directly  where  the  mother  was,  and  found 
her  looking  very  ill.  There  were  two  little  girls,  too 
young  to  go  away  to  work,  that  had  to  be  taken  care 
of,  beside  the  mother.  Now,  girls,  what  shall  we  do 
with  the  bonnet  ?  " 

"  Perhaps  I  can  find  one  that  will  do  better  than 
that,"  said  Gracie.  And  she  brought  forward  one 
or  two  that  were  a  little  damaged.  "  We  girls  will 
pay  for  one  of  these  among  us." 

"  You  may  fit  up  one  of  those.  Trim  it  up  from 
the  piece-box.  You  can  do  it  after  your  work-hours 
are  over.  You  might  do  it  in  work-hours,  only  it 
won't  be  half  so  pleasant  to  do  it  all  at  my  expense, 
as  it  will  to  make  a  little  sacrifice  yourselves." 

"  What  can  we  do  about  her  working  extra 
hours  ?  "  asked  Gracie. 

"  We  will  all  help  a  little,  and  take  off  one  hour 
a  day  at  least,"  they  all  answered. 


92  DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER. 

"  Why  did  n't  you  give  her  employer  a  lecture  on 
oppressing  the  hireling  in  his  wages,  and  grinding 
the  face  of  the  poor,  as  you  did  Putty-mutty-fudge- 
poor  yesterday  ?  "  asked  Gracie. 

"  Her  employer  happened  to  be  that  notable  wo- 
man's husband.  At  least,  he  is  the  man  I  've  seen 
at  church  with  her.  Probably  he  is  like  her  in  his 
ideas  of  economy,  and  all  that  it  would  have  been 
proper  for  me  to  have  said  under  the  circumstances 
would  have  been  said  in  vain.  I  was  on  the  defen- 
sive yesterday.  It  would  hardly  be  good  policy  to 
deal  so  plainly  in  an  attack  on  one's  own  ground. 

"  If  I  am  not  in  when  she  comes  for  her  bonnet 
Saturday  night,  ask  her  who  her  Sabbath-school 
teacher  is  ;  then  we  can  put  them  all  in  a  way  to  be 
taken  care  of.  Blessings  on  the  systematic  charity 
practiced  by  churches.'' 

So  far  I  went  with  the  girls  ;  but  the  inner  dual 
went  on,  and  on,  in  its  wonderings.  Why  is  it  that 
churches  do  so  much  for  the  poor,  when  many  of 
their  members  are  so  shockingly  avaricious  in  their 
private  conduct  ? 

Is  it  man's  pride  turned  by  the  Disposer  of  all 
events  to  good  account  ?  Many  a  fund  has  been  sunk 
by  united  effort  for  the  benefit  of  the  suffering  when 
single  effort  would,  for  the  same  end,  have  remained 
inactive.  Charity  says  it  is  done  by  the  element  of 
kindly  sympathy  which  runs  from  heart  to  heart  and 
stimulates  to  good  from  associating  together.  Cyni- 
cism says  it  is  spiritual  pride  vaunting  itself.  Many 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  93 

a  man  who  will  compel  his  wood-sawyer  to  take  his 
pay  in  sour  molasses  Saturday  night,  will  swing  the 
bank-note  he  made  by  the  economical  operation 
around  his  head  the  next  day  in  the  presence  of  the 
great  congregation,  and  place  it  on  the  offertory. 
Many  a  man,  who,  when  he  thinks  no  one  knows  it, 
will  let  a  poor  girl  work  extra  hours,  because  he  will 
not  pay  enough  for  regular  work  to  enable  her  to 
live  comfortably,  till  she  is  reduced  to  a  skeleton,  will, 
when  in  the  presence  of  his  brethren,  subject  to  their 
scrutiny,  wax  eloquent  in  pleading  her  cause  by  word 
and  deed. 

Many  a  man  will  let  his  neighbor  lack  for  bread 
because  he  does  n't  belong  to  the  same  church  he 
does.  The  same  man  will  send  a  round  sum  to  the 
benighted  heathen,  if  his  name  may  but  soar  up  in 
heavenly  altitudes,  kite-like,  before  the  public,  with  a 
long  list  of  figures  trailing  out  behind  it,  on  a  news- 
paper breeze  of  applause. 

"  Judge  not  that  ye  be  not  judged."  A  man  can- 
not settle  his  brother's  account  with  his  Maker  ;  but 
he  can  be  diligent  in  all  seasons  to  let  his  own 
works  praise  him,  by  making  offerings  with  the  right 
hand  which  the  left  hand  knoweth  not  of. 

MAY  22, 18  — . 

That  sweet,  refreshing  Rosie  May  came  in  this 
morning.  Quiet,  simple  child  !  Strange  she  has  n't 
made  up  a  style  of  airs  and  manners  for  herself! 
She  must  be  nineteen.  Perhaps,  wicked  thought, 


94  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

she  has  arrived  at  a  finished  education,  and  taken 
her  diploma  in  the  graduating  tactics  of  artificial 
manners  and  fanciful  deportment,  skilled  in  the  art 
of  concealing  art.  And  perhaps  she  is  one  of  those 
sweet-tempered  anomolies  that  Nature  occasionally 
throws  in  among  her  standard  productions,  to  show 
what  life  might  be,  and  what  we  hope  to  find  it  in 
the  other  land. 

Sweet  spoken,  but  prompt,  and  direct  to  the  point 
as  a  man  of  business,  she  said :  — 

"  I  came  in  for  you  to  fit  me  to  a  travelling  head- 
gear just  now.  I  wish  to  select  a  low-priced,  white 
straw.  I  think  a  Pedal  braid  will  do  ;  I  shall  probably 
be  obliged  to  trouble  you  to  take  out  a  few  strands,  as 
ma  thinks  my  face  too  long  and  narrow  for  the  pres- 
ent style.  A  plain  green  ribbon,  ma  thinks,  to  trim 
it  with,  not  very  expensive ;  but  I  like  a  green  and 
white  check,  I  think  it  looks  younger.  Now,  if  you 
please,  I  will  look  at  what  you  have  that  you  think 
best  adapted  to  my  purpose  ;  and  we  will  decide  be- 
tween us.  I  have  never  selected  a  bonnet  without 
ma's  advice,  but  she  sent  me  to  you,  and  told  me 
to  say,  if  you  could  help  my  choice,  and  it  suited  all 
round, — you  must  know  that  includes  papa  as  well 
as  herself,  —  she  would  trust  us  to  get  up  my  dress 
bonnet.  Then,  all  the  trouble  she  would  have  would 
be  to  order  her  own.  And  as  she  is  n't  very  well,  I 
like  to  save  her  all  the  care  I  can." 

I  took  at  once.  The  bonnet  was  to  be  simple, 
suitable,  in  good  taste,  and  when  it  was  sent  home 


D//LBF  OF  A  MILLINER.  95 

the  bill  must  suit  papa.  I  know  Judge  May's  fam- 
ily by  report,  and  report  usually  gives  the  true  ver- 
sion of  character,  although  idiosyncrasies  are  almost 
always  exaggerated  by  the  public  voice.  I  had  no 
fear  in  suiting  the  Judge.  His  heart's  blood  would 
have  been  poured  out  freely  to  adorn  that  beautiful 
child.  I  had  heard  that  Mrs.  May  was  a  little  par- 
ticular. 

"  I  will  try  to  suit  you  all,"  I  replied,  as  I  went  to 
fetch  a  bonnet  or  two. 

"  So  Mrs.  Tallmadge  told  ma,  and  she  told  her  it 
would  be  perfectly  safe  for  me  to  come  alone.  You 
won't  think  I  am  impertinent,  or  trying  to  flatter 
you  by  telling  what  she  said ;  but  I  do  think  it  is 
pleasant  to  know  when  we  please  people."  The 
amiable  little  thing  understood  how  to  do  her  part 
well.  To  make  happy  in  view  of  my  power  to 
please  was  to  give  me  courage  and  confidence  in  my- 
self to  make  farther  attempts.  It  was  also  to  secure 
my  best  efforts  in  her  service. 

Be  that  as  it  may,  it  was  her  confidence,  her  belief 
in  me  that  captivated  me.  There  was  no  temptation 
to  make  a  good  trade.  If  there  had  been,  policy 
would  have  defeated  it.  The  Mays  would  be  quick 
enough  to  find  me  out ;  and  then,  in  the  end,  I 
should  lose  more  than  I  should  gain. 

I  looked  out  a  couple  of  nice-looking  Pedal  braids 
and  brought  them  to  her. 

"  I  think  these  are  about  the  size  for  you,  and 
about  the  quality  you  were  looking  for.  They  may 


96         *  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

look  a  little  high  at  the  top  now,  but  as  the  form 
has  just  come  in  they  will  probably  be  made  higher. 
I  think  I  would  n't  have  my  bonnet  lowered.  When 
you  become  familiar  with  the  sight  of  them  they 
won't  look  so  high." 

"  Of  course  they  won't !  we  did  n't  think  of  that. 
Ma  does  n't  like  extremes  in  fashions  ;  neither  does 
she  like  me  to  look  old-fashioned ;  and  if  it  were  too 
low  it  would  look  old-fashioned  before  the  season 
was  over." 

I  tried  one  of  the  bonnets  on  her  head,  and  asked 
her  what  she  thought. 

"  It  looks  monstrous  to  me ;  but  I  can't  really  tell 
any  thing  about  a  bonnet  till  it  is  trimmed.  If  you 
think  it  will  do,  trim  it.  Only  if  ma  thinks  it  is  too 
high  it  will  have  to  come  down." 

"  If,  after  wearing  it  and  seeing  others,  you  think 
it  is  too  high  I  will  change  it." 

"  The  thing  is,  not  to  look  behind  the  times,  or  in 
the  extreme  of  fashion  so  long  as  I  wear  it.  You 

O 

can  judge  best  about  that.  I  don't  wish  to  think 
any  thing  more  about  it  after  it  is  done." 

I  showed  her  plain  green  ribbons,  and  checks. 
She  asked  the  prices ;  and  then  selected  what  she 
thought  would  do. 

"  What  kind  of  a  flower  shall  I  put  in  the  face  ?  " 
I  asked. 

"  Dark  rose-color,  and  not  much  of  it.  I  shall  be 
plainly  dressed  when  I  wear  that  bonnet." 

I  showed  her  some  flowers.  She  made  her  selec- 
tion, saying :  "  If  you  think  that  will  do." 


DIARY   OF  A    MILLINER.  97 

"  Shall  I  put  in  joint-blonde  or  illusion  ? "  I 
asked. 

"  You  may  put  in  whichever  costs  the  least." 

Her  order  was  finished. 

When  the  bonnet  is  sent  home,  it  will  be  exam- 
ined and  decided  upon.  The  bill  will  be  looked 
over.  If  it  suits,  I  shall  be  told  so,  and  the  bill  will 
be  paid.  If  it  don't  suit,  it  will  be  sent  back,  and 
just  the  change  required  will  be  pointed  out.  If  all 
my  customers  were  like  that,  I  could  open  a  "  cheap 
store."  I  could  do  double  the  amount  of  business 
that  I  now  do  in  the  same  time,  and  that  would  al- 
low me  to  do  it  cheaper.  Getting  more  profits  in 
number.  I  should  require  less  in  amount,  to  make  a 
living. 

If  Mrs.  Tallmage  were  like  the  Mays,  I  should 
feel  conscience-stricken  for  the  trick  I  had  put 
upon  her.  now  that  she  has  formed  so  good  an 
opinion  of  me,  and  taken  pains  to  circulate  it  in 
my  behalf. 

Nonsense !  If  she  were  like  the  Mays  there 
would  be  no  occasion  for  me  to  resort  to  stratagem 
with  her,  in  order  to  get  my  dues.  May-be  in 
spreading  me  she  had  the  displaying  of  her  own 
shrewdness  much  more  at  heart.  If  she  has  discov- 
ered that  the  new  store  deserves  patronage,  and  has 
so  witnessed  for  me,  I  '11  endeavor  not  to  cheat  her 
in  that  indorsement.  I  am  extremely  obliged  to  her 
for  sending  me  such  customers  as  the  Mays. 

What  encouragement  such  patronage  infuses  into 

7 


98  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

business  !  Tallmadge  has  redeemed  herself  through 
her  friends.  I  shall  hereafter  pronounce  her  a  good 
customer,  manifesting  her  goodness  in  the  way  pecul- 
iar to  herself.  Let  her  follow  the  bent  of  her  own 
inclination  in  her  efforts  in  my  behalf,  so  long  as  she 
exerts  herself  effectually. 

I  will  pronounce  her  an  excellent  woman  to  you, 
my  Journal,  and  to  the  rest  of  my  special  friends. 
Not  even  in  the  work-room  will  I  sputter  a  word  to 
her  disadvantage,  or  make  a  questioning  shrug  of 
the  shoulders  when  she  is  mentioned,  or  an  insinu- 
ating nod  of  the  head.  I  will  not  make  an  offensive 
pen-mark.  I  will  take  back  all  I  expressed  to 
you  in  confidence  the  other  day,  my  Diary. 

Milliners  are  like  other  people.  Put  them  in  good 
humor  with  themselves,  and  they  are  in  good  humor 
with  all  the  world. 


XI. 

MAT  22, 18—. 

YESTERDAY,  just  as  I  was  at  that  interesting  pe- 
riod of  glorifying  myself,  and  that  other  party  with 
whom  I  am  concerned,  womankind  in  general,  the 
Mays  and  Mrs.  Tallmadge  in  particular,  "  Putty- 
mutty-fudge-poor,"  as  Gracie  christened  her,  made 
her  appearance  again. 

My  heart  fainted  within  me !  Adieu  to  the  genial- 
ities of  trade  and  the  excellences  of  human  nature 
therein  displayed.  She  brought  another  lady  with 
her,  and  I  was  justified,  by  my  former  experience,  in 
supposing  that  they  had  brought  another  India- 
rubber  stretcher  whereon  to  induct  my  patience 
into  the  mysteries  of  the  inquisition  of  trade. 

"  Putty-mutty-fudge-poor "  said  she  just  stepped 
in,  —  she  might  more  fitly  have  said  creaked  in,  her 
boots  continued  to  give  out  their  music,  —  at  the 
time  appointed,  to  see  if  her  bonnet  was  done.  It 
was  no  matter  if  it  was  n't  She  was  passing,  and 
she  thought  she  would  drop  in. 

"  Your  bonnet  is  done,  ma'am,  and  I  hope  it  will 
suit  you."  I  turned  away  to  get  it,  and  I  heard  her 
say  in  a  loud  whisper  to  the  lady  who  was  with  her  : 

"  Done    it  is  the  first  time  in  my  life  that  I  ever 


100  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

went  for  a  bonnet,  and  found  it  done.  I  guess  she 
is  to  be  depended  upon,  but  she 's  awful  independent, 
and  you  '11  have  to  do  just  as  she  says." 

I  saw  that  I  had  been  discussed ;  in  fact,  I  was 
going  through  the  old  lady's  sieve.  When  I  carried 
the  bonnet  to  her  she  said,  — 

"  You  've  been  very  punctual ; "  in  a  tone  that  im- 
plied, '  you  've  been  a  good  girl,  and  must  be  praised 
a  little.' 

"  Is  it  any  thing  very  remarkable  for  a  woman  to 
keep  her  word  ?  "  I  asked,  and  rather  scornfully,  I 
think  upon  reflection. 

"  Yes,  it  is  !  "  she  replied  emphatically.  fc<  I  have 
always  been  obliged  to  carry  my  bonnet  three  weeks, 
certainly,  before  I  wanted  it ;  and  I  always  went 
for  it  every  day  for  three  weeks  after  it  was  prom- 
ised." 

Poor  dog  Tray  had  to  suffer  again  for  being  in 
bad  company !  I  had  no  idea  of  taking  another 
castigation  for  the  misdemeanors  of  my  crafts- 
women  It  is  quite  enough  to  suffer  for  my  own 
sins,  and  I  said  rather  tartly,  — 

"  I  think  I  have  told  you  before  that  I  don't  con- 
sider myself  responsible  for  what  others  do  ;  when 
you  catch  me  tripping,  tell  me  of  it ! " 

One  story  holds  good  till  you  hear  another.  I  had 
no  doubt  but  that  she  had  worried  and  fretted  other 
milliners  in  their  prices,  and  crowded  them  down  till 
they  lost  all  interest  in  getting  her  work  done.  As 
it  paid  so  little,  it  was  put  off  till  the  last  thing  in 
the  shop. 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  101 

-*  Why  did  they  treat  you  so  ?  "  I  asked.  I  was 
bent  on  making  her  bear  testimony  against  herself 
in  favor  of  her  milliners.  I  did  n't  doubt  I  should 
convict  her  out  of  her  own  mouth,  when  the  whole 
story  was  told. 

"  Me  !  they  treated  me  as  well  as  they  did  any- 
body." 

"  That  could  n't  be  !  everybody's  work  could  n't  be 
put  off  till  the  last." 

"  Everybody  has  favorites.  I  suppose  the  favor- 
ites got  theirs  done  in  season ;  but  I  consider  my 
money  as  good  as  anybody's." 

A  great  deal  better,  retorted  the  inner  dual,  or 
you  wouldn't  be  so  loath  to  part  with  it.  What 
makes  a  customer  a  favorite  with  a  milliner?  I 
might  have  proposed,  but  I  contented  myself  with 
saying,  — 

"  Perhaps  they  can't  afford,  at  the  rates  they  are 
paid,  to  keep  help  enough  to  do  their  work  in  sea- 
son." 

"  That  was  just  so  with  the  milliner  that  boarded 
with  me.  She  did  n't  have  but  one  or  two  girls  in 
the  shop  the  first  of  the  week,  only  just  enough  to 
tend.  Then,  at  the  last  of  the  week,  she  was  hur- 
ried so  she  could  n't  get  through  the  work  she  took. 
When  my  bonnet  did  come  she  brought  it  Saturday 
night  with  her,  or  rather  Sunday  morning.  And 
you  ought  to  see  it,  how  it  was  done.  The  bows 
were  pinned  on,  and  the  strings  were  wrong  side 
out.  One  Sunday  my  whole  top-trimming  came  off, 


102  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

and  I  lost  it  on  the  street.  And-  the  border  was  all 
flying  out,  like  a  flag  of  distress,  on  the  wind." 

"  Why  did  n't  she  keep  her  girls  all  the  week,  so 
as  to  have  her  work  done  properly  ?  "  I  asked  ;  but 
the  inner  dual  solved  the  question  before  her  an- 
swer came. 

She  probably  had  to  practice  the  same  economy 
that  you  do  in  consequence  of  having  such  custom- 
ers as  yourself. 

"  Because  she  did  n't  want  to  pay  for  only  a  half 
week's  work.  She  knew  how  to  make  her  girls' 
work  tell." 

Tell !  echoed  the  inner,  tell  what  ?  that  she  robbed 
her  girls  of  half  their  time  to  save  paying  for  it. 
Didn't  she  really  get  as  many  hours'  work  from 
them  as  though  they  were  in  the  shop  every  day 
in  the  week.  Tell  a  tale  of  oppression  !  Are  not 
you,  and  the  like  of  you,  one  cause  of  the  shameful 
tale  ?  I  contented  myself  with  asking  my  impromptu 
penny-post,  sarcastically,  — 

"  Did  n't  she  do  your  work  cheap  ?  " 

The  caustic  question  fell  harmless. 

"  Oh  yes  ;  I  had  no  fault  to  find  with  her  prices  ; 
but  the  work  was  done  poorly.  I  used  to  have  my 
bonnet  fixed  two  or  three  times  before  it  would 
stay  together." 

"  The  usual  way  of  cheap  work.  If  you  had 
paid  her  better  she  would  have  kept  more  help,  and 
your  work  would  have  been  better  done." 

"  No,  it  would  n't     She  wanted  all  the  pay  her- 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  103 

self.  She  meant  to  get  rich,  and  she  has.  She 
owns  as  much  real  estate  as  any  man  in  the  city." 

I  had  no  farther  remarks  to  offer,  but  the  inner 
dual  exercised  its  office,  and  pronounced,  Pretty 
equally  matched  with  the  people  she  deals  with. 

By  this  time  she  had  looked  her  bonnet  all  over. 

"  Do  you  like  it  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Yes,  it  looks  better  than  I  expected.  Let  me 
see  the  bill  ?  "  My  hand  trembled  when  I  gave  it 
her,  in  fear  of  an  explosion.  She  looked  it  over, 
and  her  face  lighted  up  like  the  sky  after  an  April 
shower.  My  heart  is  a  good  reflector,  pleasure 
flashed  all  over  it. 

"  It  is  n't  so  much  as  I  expected  !  I  told  him  "  — 
referring  to  her  husband  I  suppose  —  "  this  noon 
when  I  asked  him  for  the  money  to  pay  for  it,  that 
he  need  n't  expect  to  get  off  with  any  such  little 
bills  as  my  bonnets  had  cost." 

I  drew  a  long  breath  of  relief.  My  anticipated 
rating  was  not  to  be  forthcoming.  I  am  thankful 
for  all  favors  received,  and  can  be  reconciled  to 
those  which  are  not  bestowed,  in  the  way  of  ratings, 
when  they  are  withheld  because  a  customer  is  satis- 
fied. 

"  You  had  better  try  the  bonnet,  and  see  if  it  is 
all  right " 

"  Try  on  a  bonnet ! "  she  exclaimed  in  astonish- 
ment. "  Who  ever  heard  of  such  a  thing !  " 

"  The  face-trimming  may  need  to  be  moved  a  lit- 
tle in  or  out,"  I  answered. 


104  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  She  does  take  pains  to  have  every  thing  suit, 
don't  she  ?"  she  remarked  to  her  companion. 

It  was  very  evident  to  me  why  milliners  had  taken 
no  pains  to  have  her  bonnets  suit. 

She  then  turned  to  me  and  introduced  her  friend : 
"  This  is  Mrs.  Miner.  We  fixed  it  up  together  that 
we  were  both  coming  here  if  you  suited  us ;  and  I 
was  going  to  try  you  on  mine." 

The  tale  was  finished,  the  finale  reached.  I  had 
stood  the  proof  of  their  crucible,  and  come  out  the 
true  metal.  It  had  been  a  fiery  trial  to  me,  whatever 
enjoyment  or  benefit  they  might  have  reaped  from  it. 
If  I  had  penetrated  the  dual  woman  at  first,  I  doubt 
if  I  should  have  stood  the  refining  as  well. 

Mrs.  Miner  proved  very  expeditious  in  transacting 
her  affairs. 

"  All  is  well  that  ends  well."  In  despite  of  my 
grumbling,  "  Putty-mutty "  has  ended  well.  I  '11 
make  a  pet  of  the  first  part  of  my  unknown  friend's 
improvised  appellation,  and  make  no  mention  of  the 
latter  syllables,  "  fudge-poor,"  so  long  as  she  behaves 
so  admirably.  But  just  so  sure  as  she  commences 
one  of  her  economical  antics,  I  shall  put  it  on  again 
as  an  indication  of  my  disrespect. 

The  whole  world  has  behaved  beautifully  to-day  ; 
and  I  retire  to  that  state  of  repose  which  Sancho 
Panza  has  immortalized  as  the  most  blessed  of  in- 
ventions, prepared  to  enjoy  its  benign  influence. 


XII. 

MAY  23,  18—. 

"THERE  comes  Mrs.  Cheapside  ! "  whispered 
Grade  to  me  this  morning,  when  she  noticed  a 
certain  lady  coming  toward  the  store.  "  You  must 
ask  her  more  than  you  intend  to  take.  She  is 
the  terror  of  every  dry-goods  dealer  in  the  city ! 
When  1  was  tending  at  Mason's,  one  day  I  saw  him 
climb  out  of  the  back  window  and  slide  down  the 
water-conductor,  to  get  rid  of  her.  If  I  go  to  wait 
upon  her  it  will  take  the  time  of  both  of  us.  She 
will  send  me  to  you  to  find  out  the  least  you  will 
take,  if  it  is  a  yard  of  three-cent  ribbon  that  she 
wishes  to  buy.  She  was  marked  and  sent  round 
long  ago." 

"  '  Marked  and  sent  round  ! '  what  does  that  mean 
Gracie  ?  " 

"  Every  woman,  and  the  way  she  trades,  is  known 
in  every  store  in  town  where  she  goes.  One  store- 
keeper tells  another,  and  all  treat  her  alike.  That 
is  what  they  call  marking.  If  she  is  a  good  cus- 
tomer they  treat  her  with  attention.  All  want  her 
custom.  If  she  is  a  poor  one,  they  all  get  rid  of  her 
the  best  way  they  can." 

How  mean  Grade's  recommendation  of  asking 
more  than  I  meant  to  take  looked  to  me.  I  was  in 


106  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER, 

an  amazingly  upright  mood  just  then.  I  was  just 
tall  enough  to  stand  upright  on  my  own  dignity ; 
or  the  stilts  of  integrity  used  by  the  one-price  sys- 
tem. I  would  condescend  to  no  such  artifice  to  se- 
cure my  customers,  or  my  profits. 

What  different  moods  one  finds  one's  self  in  at 
different  times !  I  was  not  at  all  disposed  toward 
the  policy  which  seemed  so  desirable  in  the  case 
of  Mrs.  Tallmadge.  All  of  the  arguments  in  favor 
of  that  policy  were  entirely  out  of  my  mind. 

To  mark  a  customer,  and  hand  her  round ! 
Shocking !  How  low-bred  tradespeople  looked  in 
my  eyes!  If  such  tattling  was  in  vogue  among 
them,  I  would  keep  myself  from  such  society  !  The 
very  thought  was  contamination. 

"  Vice  is  a  monster  of  so  frightful  mien, 
That  to  be  hated  needs  but  to  be  seen." 

And  one  better  read  in  the  workings  of  human 
nature  than  I  am  went  on  to  say,  "We  loathe, 
then  pity,  then  embrace."  Now  that  I  have  looked 
at  it  all  around,  it  seems  to  me  a  very  good  prac- 
tice, that  of  marking  and  sending  round  to  save 
time.  If  a  customer  is  understood  by  one,  the 
knowledge  would  be  equally  beneficial  to  the  whole 
craft.  Understood  by  all,  and  treated  alike  by  all, 
the  customer  must  see  that  she  is  in  fault,  and 
change  her  ways.  Was  ever  human  nature  so  con- 
vinced and  made  better  ?  Perhaps  not,  but  as  new 
discoveries  are  being  constantly  made,  in  every  di- 
rection, such  an  event  may  happen  through  the  aid 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  107 

of  some  new  invention  in  ethics.  Cain  knew  that 
every  man's  hand  was  against  him,  and  he  must 
have  more  than  suspected  the  reason  why.  If  a 
woman  is  treated  with  disrespect  in  every  store  in 
which  she  goes  to  trade,  she  may  have  strong  reason 
to  suspect  that  she  is  not  so  treated  on  account  of 
her  good  behavior.  The  only  obstacle  in  the  way 
of  her  coining  to  an  understanding  of  the  true  state 
of  things  will  be  that,  although  she  can  see  very  dis- 
tinctly the  way  in  which  others  treat  her,  there  is  a 
natural  impediment  in  her  eye,  called  in  the  Book 
"  a  beam,"  which  prevents  her  from  taking  cogniz- 
ance of  her  manner  of  treating  others. 

Mrs.  Cheapside  asked  to  see  bonnets.  I  showed 
them,  and  blandly  explained  the  merits  and  beauties 
of  each.  They  were  all  very  pretty,  but  each  one 
had  some  fault,  especially  the  one  she  retained  in 
her  hand,  —  the  one  which  I  saw  by  the  look  in  her 
eye  she  had  made  up  her  mind  to  have.  She  held 
the  bonnet  in  her  hand,  but  passed  on  to  look  at 
the  flowers. 

"  Will  those  flowers  be  durable  ? "  she  asked. 
"  They  look  to  me  as  though  they  would  n't  wear 
well.  When  I  buy  a  thing  and  pay  my  money  for  it 
I  like  to  have  it  last  some  !  " 

"  That  is  a  well-made  flower,  and  will  last  as  long 
as  any.  The  durability  of  flowers  depends  very 
much  upon  the  usage  they  get.  We  buy  flowers 
more  for  their  beauty  than  their  strength  to  en- 
dure hardship.  Those  are  beautifully  tinted,  and 
nicely  put  together." 


108  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

She  took  up  a  piece  of  ribbon  that  attracted  her 
attention. 

"  Will  that  ribbon  fade  ?  "  she  asked.  "  It  looks 
to  me  as  though  it  would  fade.  I  've  had  milliners 
tell  me  a  ribbon  would  n't  fade,  and  then  it  did." 

"  All  ribbons  will  fade  in  time,  by  exposure.  Even 
black  grows  rusty,  and  white  turns  yellow.  I  think 
that  as  durable  as  any  color." 

"  It  is  partly  cotton,  is  n't  it.     It  feels  cottony." 

"  Perhaps  so  !  you  don't  wish  to  buy  it."  I  was 
growing  impatient,  I  was  getting  an  insight  into  the 
marking  and  handing  around  arrangement,  and  its 
usefulness  became  apparent. 

"  If  I  conclude  to  take  this  bonnet,  and  get  all 
my  things  here  to  trim  it,  you  will  throw  in  the  work, 
won't  you  ?  " 

"  No,  ma'am  !  "  was  my  curt  reply. 

"  You  '11  take  something  off  the  price  then  ?  " 

"  No,  ma'am  !  That  is  our  price,  and  we  consider 
it  a  fair  one." 

"  I  never  patronize  folks  that  don't  take  off  any 
thing." 

"  Then  I  'm  afraid  I  '11  get  little  of  your  patron- 
age." 

"  I  like  this  bonnet  pretty  well." 

I  made  no  reply. 

She  went  on :  "  We  've  been  building  this  summer, 
and  I  want  to  save  all  I  can.  I  think  you  might 
take  off  fifty  cents." 

"  That  would  be  taking  off  more  than  my  profit, 
I  should  be  selling  it  for  less  than  I  paid." 


DIARY  OF  A    MILLINER.  100 

"  Well  then,  a  quarter.  As  we  Ve  been  building, 
and  it  has  cost  so  much,  my  husband  will  make  a 
great  ado  about  my  bills.  I  must  save  all  I  can." 

So  far  as  she  and  her  husband  are  concerned,  I 
consider  it  their  place  to  settle  their  own  affairs.  I 
could  not,  with  any  propriety,  have  any  thing  to  do 
with  them.  I  was  on  the  point  of  explosion ;  but  I 
made  a  mighty  effort,  and  got  the  mastery  of  my- 
self, if  it  did  n't  last  long.  I  must  say  something, 
so  I  remarked,  — 

"  It  is  every  one's  duty  to  save,  and  not  to  waste." 

"  Will  you  take  off  the  quarter  ?  "  she  persisted. 
"  I  must  save  all  I  can  on  my  bonnet." 

"  Who  do  you  wish  to  make  your  saving  out  of  ?  " 
I  asked.  Little  did  the  woman  imagine  with  what 
utter  disgust  and  repulsion  I  was  looking  at  her  un- 
clothed spirit ;  or,  rather,  clothed  upon  with  the  de- 
formity of  its  greed. 

'•  Out  of  my  bonnet,  to  be  sure !  "  Was  it  possible 
that  woman  could  be  so  blind  as  to  what  quarter  her 
saving  was  to  come  from  ? 

"  There  is  one  that  will  cost  you  less,  then,"  I 
replied,  and  pointed  to  one  lying  on  the  table  at  a 
little  distance  off. 

"  Oh  no  ! "  she  exclaimed  in  disdain  ;  "  I  would  n't 
wear  such  a  bonnet  as  that !  I  want  a  good  bonnet ; 
but  I  sha'n't  pay  any  such  price  as  you  ask ! " 

Sha'n't !  echoed  the  inner.  We  '11  see  about  that. 
The  time  has  come  to  be  plain  with  you  when  you 
tell  me  what  you  shall  or  sha'n't  do  with  my  goods, 
and  I  said  decidedly,  — 


110  DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER. 

"  Then  you  can't  have  the  bonnet.  If  you  wish 
to  save  on  your  bonnet,  as  you  represent,  you  must 
take  a  cheaper  one.  If  you  intend  to  save  out  of 
me,  I,  as  a  party  concerned,  protest  against  and  re- 
sist the  proceeding.  If  you  take  one  of  my  bonnets 
you  will  take  it  at  my  price." 

"  This  is  the  only  bonnet  in  your  store  that  I  would 
wear ;  but  I  've  laid  aside  just  so  much  for  my  bon- 
net, and  I  sha'n't  pay  any  more." 

"You  must  be  your  own  judge  of  what  you  will 
pay  for  your  bonnet,  but  you  will  pay  my  price  for 
mine  if  you  have  it.  The  fact  which  you  put  for- 
ward, that  you  have  been  building,  is  no  reason,  in 
my  view,  for  giving  you  a  quarter  in  charity.  It 
only  shows,  to  me,  that  you  have  means  in  abundance 
to  pay  for  what  you  want.  And  that  you  won't  use 
it,  only  shows  that  you  wish  to  filch  your  things  out 
of  others.  If  you  wish  for  the  bonnet  at  my  price, 
you  can  take  it.  If  you  don't  wish  to  pay  that,  the 
sooner  you  decide,  and  leave  me  to  pursue  my  own 
business  the  better." 

"  You  will  get  a  great  deal  of  custom  by  talking 
in  that  way," -she  answered  angrily.  "I  will  in- 
form my  friends  what  a  reception  I  have  met  with." 

I  endeavored  to  prove  myself  her  equal  in  spar- 
ring. 

"  If  your  friends  would  prove  such  customers  as 
their  acquaintance  which  you  have  introduced  to  me 
in  your  distinguished  person,  it  would  be  quite  a 
favor  to  keep  them  away.  If  they  are  not  like  you 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  Ill 

they  will  understand  just  how  much  of  your  report  is 
reliable." 

Query :  Is  it  possible  to  maintain  one's  equinimity, 
or  even  to  preserve  an  outside  of  civility  to  such  cus- 
tomers ?  Ah !  for  the  grace  of  patience  spoken  of 
at  the  commencement  of  this  Diary,  with  courtesy 
appended. 

Another  query :  Are  there  not  a  class  of  persons 
to  whom  Solomon's  wisdom  may  be  more  appropriate 
in  application  than  Job's.  From  the  two  equally 
reliable  authorities,  I  have  come  to  the  conclusion 
that  it  is  well  to  practice  on  the  model  of  either  as 
the  merits  of  the  case  may,  in  my  judgment,  require. 

She  started  in  burning  indignation  to  leave  the 
store.  When  she  reached  the  door,  the  cool  air  out- 
side, or  the  still  more  cooling  reflection  that  she  was 
too  well  known  to  fare  any  better  wherever  she 
might  go,  allayed  her  heat,  and  she  turned  and 
looked  at  me. 

I  smiled.  How  she  interpreted  it  I  don't  know ;  I 
was  smiling  at  her  predicament,  —  "  marked  and 
handed  round."  Was  I  mean  enough  to  take  ad- 
vantage of  that  predicament  to  give  her  no  quarter? 
Would  I  have  treated  one  who  bore  a  better  name 
in  the  community,  in  the  same  way  ?  The  inner  dual 
answered,  Doubtless  no !  but  as  you  will  be  sustained 
in  it,  you  have  done  well,  —  she  richly  deserved  it. 
Vox  populi  vox  Dei. 

She  had  come  to  me  because  I  "was  a  stranger,  and 
just  commencing  business,  —  she  could  intimidate 


112  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

me !  She  really  cared  nothing  for  what  I  said  to  her  ! 
She  had  no  sensibility  !  She  cared  nothing  for  what 
I  thought  of  her,  provided  she  could  accomplish  her 
object. 

She  came  back,  and  took  me  on  another  tack. 
Her  one-sided  hint  about  her  husband  now  broached 
itself  in  lachrymose  complaint. 

"  My  husband  feels  very  poor  now,  he 's  spent  so 
much  in  building ;  he  told  me  I  must  get  my  bonnet 
with  what  he  gave  me  or  go  without ;  and  you  know 
what  men  are  when  they  get  cross.  You  can't  do 
any  thing  with  them.  I  can't ;  mine  is  real  hard  on 
me!" 

I  thought  if  her  husband  dealt  any  more  plainly 
with  her,  when  he  was  cross,  than  I  had,  there  must 
be  rather  an  uncomfortable  state  of  things  existing 
between  them.  I  said  to  her,  without  the  slightest 
scruple  of  delicacy,  —  I  saw  not  the  least  occasion 
to  make  covert  suggestions ;  the  plain,  unvarnished 
truth  seemed  to  me  in  requisition,  and  I  used  it,  — 

"I  have  nothing  to  do  with  affairs  that  obtain 
strictly  between  you  and  your  husband,  those  are  for 
you  to  arrange  between  you."  I  thought  if  a  little 
advice  came  amiss,  my  mind  would  be  at  rest  if  I 
vented  it,  so  I  continued :  "  I  think  the  less  a  woman 
says  to  strangers  about  her  husband  getting  cross, 
and  denying  her  money,  the  more  respectable  both 
parties  will  appear." 

Finding  me  impervious  to  arguments,  threats,  and 
entreaties,  she  gave  in,  and  told  me  how  she  would 
have  the  bonnet  fitted  up. 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  113 

She  then  slunk  out  of  the  store,  very  much  after 
the  manner  of  those  quadrupeds  that  snap  and  snarl 
in  pugnacious  grandiloquence  till  a  smart  rap  on  the 
nose  tests  their  courage. 

The  power  of  love  in  restraining  human  passions, 
and  renewing  human  hearts  is  infinite.  But  there 
is  depth  of  wisdom  contained  in  the  method  of  in- 
struction proposed  by  the  wise  man.  The  hand  that 
holds  the  rod  should  be  guided  by  discretion,  and 
the  motive-power  that  wields  it  should  be  love. 
Here  love  comes  in  again  to  the  detriment  of  the 
rod.  Whoever  thought  of  chastisement  when  his 
heart  was  full  of  the  joy  of  complacency  ?  Let  one 
get  roused  to  indignation  by  wrong,  or  thwarted 
interests,  or  whatever  may  be  the  exciting  cause,  and 
the  lashes,  involuntarily,  fall  thick  and  fast  on  the 
offending  culprit. 

The  rod  that  chastises  with  love  may,  safely,  be 
supposed  to  be  -held  in  the  hand  of  parental  author- 
ity, or  in  the  hand  of  the  Great  Father.  Was  the 
rod  ever  used  in  love  by  one  human  dual  over  an- 
other human  dual  occupying  equality  of  position  ? 
May-be,  but  the  record  of  such  events,  if  made  in 
truth,  would  be  like  the  wells  in  the  Arabian 
desert,  long  journeys  apart. 

There  may  be  such  an  emotion  as  righteous  indig- 
nation, it  may  be  able  to  control  itself  so  that  no 
selfish  resentment  and  retaliation  be  mixed  up  with 
its  expression  when  it  vents  itself  on  the  object 
which  has  aroused  it. 
8 


xm. 

MAT  24.  18—. 

GRACIE  came  running  into  the  back  shop  this 
afternoon,  where  I  was  superintending  some  work, 
with  a  most  lugubrious  expression  on  her  face,  and 
in  tones  that  corresponded  with  the  affliction  de- 
picted on  her  countenance,  announced  that  she  was 
waiting  for  Mrs.  Bailey  to  decide. 

"  I  wish  you  much  happiness  of  your  customer," 
was  Sue's  sympathetic  rejoinder.  "  I  have  stood  in 
her  stretcher,  waiting  for  her  to  decide,  till  in  that 
tension  my  back  was  near  leaving  my  company." 

"  I  have  stood  three  quarters  of  an  hour  by  the 
clock,"  said  Gracie  ;  "  and  what  do  you  think  is  the 
important  question  under  consideration  ?  " 

"  Probably  the  shade  of  a  pink  ! " 

"  It  is  whether  she  will  wear  a  sprig  of  the  lily 
of  the  valley,  or  ivy  in  her  hair  to-night." 

"  A  question  which  it  would  have  been  very 
proper  for  her  to  have  decided  at  home,"  I  re- 
marked. 

"  Decide  at  home  !  "  echoed  Sue.  "  She  tried  that 
when  she  was  first  married.  Her  husband,  Xed 
Bailey,  is  my  cousin.  I  Ve  known  her  to  keep  him 
waiting  for  her  to  go  down  town  with  him  after 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  115 

breakfast  two  long  hours,  deciding  what  dress  she 
should  wear.  At  first,  out  of  politeness,  he  waited  ; 
but  it  made  him  so  late  to  his  business,  and  he  lost 
so  much  by  it,  that  he  tells  her  now  to  go  decide,  and 
he  '11  come  back  for  her  to-morrow." 

"  That  was  what  made  you  vanish  so  abruptly 
when  you  saw  her  coming,"  said  Gracie  ruefully. 

"  0  Gracie,  don't  accuse  me  of  unkindness.  You 
know  I  would  gladly  lay  down  my  life  for  you,  pro- 
vided the  sacrifice  could  be  accomplished  by  instan- 
taneous decapitation.  But  to  think  of  being  sent 
out  of  existence  by  Mrs.  Bailey's  slow  torture  would 
be  more  of  a  sacrifice  than  my  love  for  you  could 
compass.  Her  inflictions  may  well  be  likened  to  dis- 
solution under  the  death-blows  of  a  lame  spider." 

"  Shocking  !  shocking  fatality  !  "  was  echoed 
through  the  room  by  various  voices  in  a  low  whisper. 

"  She  must  have  been  subjected  to  Goodyear's 
process  of  vulcanizing,  or  she  could  never  extend  to 
such  longevity  of  decision  without  breaking  down. 
I  have  seen  her  seat  herself  at  the  counter  at  nine 
in  the  morning,  and  stretch  herself  out  over  the 
whole  forenoon,  till  twelve,  over  a  piece  of  No  1  rib- 
bon to  trim  a  dress.  "When  the  clock  struck  twelve 
she  sprung  up  as  bright,  and  bounded  back  as  elastic 
as  though  she  had  never  been  drawn  out  at  all.  That 
was  when  she  was  the  gum  in  its  natural  state,  but 
now  that  she  has  been  subjected  to  the  improvements 
of  matrimonial  science  there  is  no  limit  to  her  extend- 
ability.  If  she  ever  comes  here  to  get  a  bonnet  you 
will  see  her  display  the  quality  in  all  its  glory." 


116  D1AEY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

Gracie  clasped  her  hands  and  rolled  up  her  eyes 
in  an  attitude  of  despair. 

"  May  my  good  angels  stir  around  in  the  air,  and 
blow  up  a  shower  to  wet  Mrs.  Tallmadge's  new 
French  bonnet  all  through,  so  that  I  may  be  em- 
ployed in  importing  another  when  these  glories 
shine  forth." 

And  composing  her  countenance  into  an  expres- 
sion of  patient  resignation  she  retreated  to  attend 
to  her  India-rubber  customer. 

MAY  25,  18—. 

The  rich  and  fashionable  Mrs.  Squire  Stebbins 
has  been  in  to-day.  Her  first  statement  was,  that 
she  wished  to  get  a  stylish  and  fashionable  bonnet. 
The  price  was  of  no  consequence. 

That  announcement  was  like  cold  water  to  a 
thirsty  soul !  It  was  good  news  from  a  far  coun- 
try !  I  was  utterly  overcome.  It  was  a  long  time  be- 
before  I  could  realize  that  I  was  not  the  subject  of 
an  illusion.  When  I  came  fairly  around,  and  had 
fully  persuaded  myself  that  I  was  really  I,  and  that 
no  illusion  had  run  away  with  me,  that  it  was  I  in 
my  proper  senses,  I  found  sufficient  stamina  remain- 
ing in  my  nervous  system  to  wait  upon  my  customer 
in  a  collected  and  rational  way. 

The  first  thing  I  noticed  was  her  eyes  fixed  upon 
me  in  a  remarkable  manner.  She  must  have  seen 
that  something  unusual  had  transpired.  It  was  very 
evident  that  I  was  disturbed  by  some  unexpected 
circumstances.  With  a  jaunty  toss  of  her  head, 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  117 

and  a  little  flutter  all  over,  she  remarked,  spiritually, 
to  the  inner  dual,  You  are  surprised  and  confused  to 
see  so  much  elegance  and  fashion  as  I  present  to 
your  bewildered  gaze.  It  is  to  be  hoped  that  you 
will  soon  get  accustomed  to  the  august  presence,  and 
its  transcendent  details,  so  that  you  can  approach 
near  enough  to  make  your  homage  available. 

The  words  still  rung  in  my  ears  :  She  did  n't  care 
for  the  price !  Was  it  an  echo  from  Eldorado  ? 
What  genii  had  transmigrated  into  the  form  before 
me  to  announce  so  astounding  a  communication  ? 
The  woman  must  be  in  a  spiritual  trance  ;  if  not  en- 
tranced, she  must  be  under  the  "influence,"  so  as 
not  to  be  cognizant  of  what  was  going  on  in  the 
body.  It  was  long  before  it  became  a  fixed  fact  in 
my  mind  that  she  wished  to  get  a  pretty  and  becom- 
ing bonnet  irrespective  of  cost.  Even  when  that  de- 
sirable point  was  arrived  at,  and  settled  in  my  mind, 
flashes  of  terror  would  strike  all  over  me,  at  intervals, 
lest  I  was  laboring  under  an  illusion.  The  cold  per- 
spiration would  start,  in  an  agony  of  apprehension, 
lest  she  should  disappear,  and  spirit  away  my  visions 
of  a  golden  opportunity  wherein  to  display,  unre- 
stricted by  the  direful  necessity  to  make  something 
else  do  because  it  was  cheaper,  and  so  spoil  it,  my 
skill  in  millinery.  If  she  did  n't  disappear  alto- 
gether, might  she  not  awake,  and  commence  to  hag- 
gle about  prices  ? 

It  was  full  ten  minutes  before  my  stunned  emo- 
tions gathered  sufficient  consciousness  to  ask,  — 


118  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  What  have  you  in  your  own  mind  ?  " 

"  I  have  n't  a  single  idea." 

"  Then  I  will  see  if  I  can  start  one.  What  colors 
do  you  wear  ?  " 

"  All  at  times.  I  like  a  mixture.  Have  n't  you 
bonnets  made  ?  " 

"  Yes,  step  this  way." 

I  knew  I  had  nothing  she  would  want ;  but  I  must 
keep  her  awhile,  so  as  to  study  her.  If  she  proved 
to  have  foreign  tastes,  in  a  day  or  two  I  could  have 
some  bonnets  in  from  New  York  of  a  new  pattern, 
and  there  must  be  one  among  them  that  would  ex- 
actly suit  her.  I  showed  her  what  I  had. 

"  Have  n't  you  some  put  away  in  your  private 
room  ?  "  she  asked. 

That  question  opened  her  to  me.  She  was  no 
longer  a  sealed  book;  I  read  her  just  as  I  would 
read  a  printed  page.  A  New  York  bonnet  she 
must  have,  made  by  a  French  milliner  at  least. 
And  she  should  have  it,  regardless  of  cost,  so  far  as 
cost  went  to  make  up  its  beauty. 

I  saw  too,  from  the  question  about  the  private 
room,  that  Mrs.  Tallmadge  had  been  exercising  her 
vocation.  Glorious  Mrs.  Tallmadge  !  may  you  be 
blest  in  your  basket  and  your  store  !  not  in  a  milli- 
ner's store,  but  in  having  a  full  larder.  Is  it  possible 
that  she  is  acting  upon  the  proverb  "  Misery  loves 
company  ?  "  Does  she  think  she  was  entrapped  to  buy 
an  expensive  bonnet,  and  her  friends  might  as  well 
taste  the  same  sweets  ?  Or  does  she  feel  satisfied, 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  119 

and  wish  to  help  me  on  in  consequence  ?  No  matter, 
so  long  as  I  am  benefited. 

In  about  five  minutes  I  had  read  Mrs.  Squire 
Stebbins's  complexion  and  features,  and  was  prepared 
to  make  her  a  bonnet.  If  I  were  not  a  milliner  I 
could  n't  help  doing  that.  He  that  runs  may  read. 
She  had  printed  her  character  all  over  her  exterior. 
Both  duals  were  stamped  upon  her  dress  and  man- 
ners, and  stood  out  to  observation,  like  the  staring 
gold  capitals  upon  the  black  ground  of  the  sign  over 
my  shop  door. 

But  not  to  be  limited  in  the  expense  I  put  upon 
the  bonnet !  That  was  the  summum  bonum  of  hap- 
piness in  getting  it  up.  As  handsome  a  New  York 
bonnet  as  I  can  extemporize  she  shall  have.  And 
she  shall  pay  no  more  than  the  value  of  it.  It  must 
cost  more  than  Mrs.  Tallmadge's,  or  she  won't  be  sat- 
isfied that  it  is  so  nice  a  bonnet.  It  must  be  a  little 
better.  She  will  judge  of  its  value  by  the  cost,  that 
is  her  way.  Unless  she  pays  a  large  price  an  article 
is  of  no  account  with  her.  I  must  treat  her  accord- 
ingly. I  have  scruples  about  overcharging  her,  I 
hate  to  do  it ;  but  she  must  be  satisfied,  or  she  will 
never  favor  me  again.  Once  gained,  I  should  be 
sorry  to  lose  her  custom.  She  and  Mrs.  Tallmadge 
will  compare  bonnets,  and  tell  the  cost  of  each.  I 
must  tuck  a  little  extra  lace  on  Mrs.  Stebbins's,  to 
account  for  the  difference  in  prices. 

Dear,  good  soul !  to  leave  me  in  the  exercise  of 
my  free  will !  If  she  were  predestinated  to  exercise 


120  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

the  doctrine  of  Arminianism  toward  me,  she  was 
made  the  favored  instrumentality  of  filling  my  cup 
of  millinery  happiness  to  overflowing.  She  shall 
have  her  reward !  I  will  make  her  heart  sing  for 
joy  that  her  head  sports  the  most  expensive  bonnet 
to  be  found  in  the  whole  circle  of  her  acquaintance. 

I  told  her  that  I  had  none  in,  then,  that  she  would 
care  for ;  but  I  was  expecting  patterns  from  New 
York  in  a  day  or  two,  as  soon  as  the  next  steamer 
arrived,  and  that  she  should  have  the  first  sight  of 
and  choice  from  them. 

I  was  very  careful  not  to  say  what  kind  of  pat- 
terns. I  was  expecting  some  new  fashion-plates. 
I  announced  the  letter  of  the  truth :  who  looks 
deeper  ?  or  talks  truer  ? 

"  They  may  be  here  the  day  after  to-morrow ;  I 
think  I  may  safely  count  on  them  the  day  after  that ; 
so  that  you  may  not  be  disappointed,  put  it  off  till 
Thursday.  I  shall  certainly  have  them  then." 

"  If  they  come  the  day  before,  you  won't  let  any 
one  else  see  them  ?  "  she  asked  eagerly. 

"  Not  an  individual  shall  see  them  till  you  do." 

"  What  time  shall  I  come  in  ?  " 

"  About  four  in  the  afternoon  !  " 

"  That  will  be  just  the  thing  !  I  '11  come  down 
and  walk  up  with  the  Squire  to  dinner,  and  take 
him  in  with  me  to  see  the  bonnets.  He  is  very  fond 
of  seeing  me  handsomely  dressed,  and  I  like  to  grat- 
ify his  taste.  If  he  don't  like  it,  I  sha'n't  buy  the 
bonnet." 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  121 

Admirable'  wife  !  as  well  as  excellent  customer ! 
If  you  and  your  husband  are  not  affinities  your  con- 
summate management  will  soon  make  you  so.  You 
are  endowed  with  an  adroitness  of  wisdom  for  man- 
aging your  husband  worthy  the  imitation  of  your 
sex,  —  all  of  your  sex  that  are  married,  and  wish  to 
live  happily  with  the  husbands  of  their  choice,  or  of 
their  convenience,  as  the  case  may  be. 

As  soon  as  her  back  was  turned,  I  began  to  exe- 
cute my  plans  for  making  three  bonnets.  First,  I 
collected  what  materials  I  had  that  I  thought  would 
do  for  them.  Then,  I  turned  every  wholesale  store 
in  the  city  inside  out  to  get  just  what  I  wanted, 
and  every  retail  where  they  would  oblige  me.  Was 
there  any  harm  in  spreading  it  around  that  I  had 
some  stylish  orders  to  fill  ?  I  must  take  every  pains 
to  spread  myself,  so  as  to  increase  my  trade. 

And  here  let  me  announce  to  you,  my  Journal,  for 
the  credit  of  the  craft,  that  in  every  retail  store  save 
one  I  was  cordially  favored.  The  one  who  refused 
me  was  my  next-door  neighbor.  I  did  n't  lay  it  up 
against  her  ;  but  I  hope  I  shall  have  an  opportunity 
to  oblige  her  some  time.  If  I  do,  I  '11  heap  coals  of 
neighborly  kindness  enough  on  her  head  to  singe, 
if  I  cannot  burn  her  hair  off. 

My  next  neighbor  is  very  reticent  in  her  way  of 
doing  business  ;  report  says,  from  fear  that  some  of 
us  vulgar  milliners,  who  make  bonnets  for  the  com- 
mon herd,  should  take  advantage  of  her  styles.  She 
does  millinery  for  a  "  set,"  and  it  is  only  following  a 
law  of  Nature  for  her  to  imitate  their  manners,  —  i.  e. 


122  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

put  on  the  same  airs  that  they  do.  Of  course  milliners 
imitate  their  betters  ;  why  should  n't  they  ?  The 
ways  of  superiors  are  always  copied  by  inferiors. 
What  do  people  set  examples  for  if  it  is  n't  in  the 
hope  to  have  them  copied  ? 

In  making  a  circle  in  which  to  include  themselves 
and  exclude  others  who  are  not  favored  with  quite 
as  much  wealth,  or  what  they  call  style,  or  what  ?  — 
really  I  don't  know  what  the  requisites  are  for  admis- 
sion within  the  pale  of  Yankee  aristocracy.  If  there 
is  n't  the  obscurity  of  heraldry,  there  is  the  mystery 
of  social  free  masonry  about  the  indefinite,  indefina- 
ble coat  of  arms  which  is  quartered  on  some  indefi- 
nite, undistinguishable  shield,  which  it  is  necessary 
to  inherit,  or  acquire,  in  order  to  be  eligible  to  admis- 
sion to  some  set.  And  the  set  just  as  mysteriously 
sets  itself  up  as  an  example  for  imitation  or  admi- 
ration, so  far  as  its  superiority  is  apparent  to  any 
but  the  initiated.  The  merits  of  the  case  are  be- 
yond my  understanding  ;  but  it  is  a  wonderful  com- 
mon phrase  that  such  and  such  an  one  belongs  to 
one  of  the  first  families.  I  hear  it  every  day  in 
the  shop.  I  have  been  led  to  infer  that  the  .phrase 
means,  one  of  the  families  that  first  settled  in  the 
town.  It  is  spoken  of  as  a  distinction  to  belong  to 
one  of  the  first  families.  If  it  confers  distinction 
upon  one's  descendants  to  have  settled  first  in  a 
place,  we  must  all  obtain  the  distinction  of  belonging 
to  the  first  families  through  our  common  parent,  who 
took  up  the  wild  lands  of  the  earth  and  settled  them. 
Perhaps  some  light  may  be  thrown  upon  the  sub- 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  123 

ject  by  repeating  some  remarks  made  in  my  hearing 
the  other  day.  A  lady  said  to  another,  on  hearing  it 
said  of  a  third  that  she  belonged  to  one  of  the  first 
families,  — 

"  I  would  n't  care  to  have  my  great-great-grand- 
father's insignia  of  employment  quartered  upon  my 
patent,  although  he  earned  the  money  by  it  that 
laid  the  foundation  for  wealth  in  our  family.  He 
sold  rum  and  molasses ;  not  a  chivalrous  employ- 
ment ;  but  he  made  his  family  very  comfortable  by 
it,  and  his  descendants  also.  But  I  should  hardly 
consider  it  desirable  to  have  a  rum-barrel,  tumblers, 
and  decanters,  painted  upon  my  pannels." 

"  I  am  in  the  same  predicament ! "  echoed  the 
friend  that  was  with  her,  "  and  everybody  knows  it. 
And  every  new  acquaintance  I  make  will  be  sure  to 
look  it  up.  My  great-great-grandfather  started  the 
wealth  in  our  family  by  catching,  and  curing,  and 
selling  fish.  I  must  carry  the  odor  of  that  fish  around 
with  me  as  long  as  I  live,  and  my  children  will 
always  smell  fishy  ;  but  I  don't  think  it  would  make 
a  very  picturesque  appearance  upon  my  coach-door, 
delightful  as  it  may  be  to  some  of  my  disadmirers  to 
fish  up  the  facts  of  my  descent." 

Those  people  who  pride  themselves  on  belonging 
to  the  first  families  live  in  glass  houses. 

I  am  willing  to  let  them  abide  in  their  social  fol- 
lies so  long  as  they  bestow  substantial  marks  of  favor 
upon  me  by  buying  bonnets. 

I  have  often  thought  I  would  like  to  know  if  they 
really  do  think  that  they,  and  their  things,  are  better 


124  DJAEY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

and  look  better  than  other  people  and  other  people's 
things.  If  they  do,  they  must  be  the  class  of  people 
which  the  Book  cautions  against  thinking  more 
highly  of  themselves  than  they  ought  to  think.  Ex- 
cellent advice  ! 

Why,  oh  why  did  Infinite  Wisdom  make  us  all  of 
one  flesh  ?  When  one  was  born  to  rule  and  another 
to  serve,  why  could  n't  He  have  ordained  a  line  of 
distinction  by  making  the  ruler  of  imperial  blood  to 
correspond  with  his  upward  tendencies,  and  the  ser- 
vant of  base  flesh  and  bones  to  comport  with  his 
lowly  position  ?  What  a  world  of  contention  such  an 
arrangement  would  save  in  the  great  struggle  which 
agitates  mankind,  and  has  agitated  it  since  the 
world  was  in  existence,  the  struggle  of  who  shall  be 
greatest ! 

Oh  deplorable  fact !  All  people  are  made  of  one 
flesh,  and  of  the  same  mental  and  moral  elements, 
when  the  distinctions  of  rank,  and  distinctions  of 
intellect,  and  distinctions  of  goodness  are  so  desira- 
ble to  promote  the  happiness  of  mankind !  especially 
the  happiness  of  those  who  are  ambitious  to  be  pro- 
moted. 

Good-by,  my  Diary,  my  confidant.  I  shall  be  too 
busy  on  my  New  York  bonnets  to  tell  you  any  more 
tales  till  day  after  to-morrow  night.  I  know  it  is 
good  advice  to  "  keep  thy  mouth  from  the  wife  of  thy 
bosom  ;  "  but  you  have  no  mouth,  my  Journal,  and  I 
have  no  wife  of  my  bosom,  therefore  the  advice  can- 
not belong  to  me. 


XIV. 

MAY  28, 18—. 

THE  wonderful  event  has  transpired !  The  bus- 
tle and  excitement  of  the  celebration  is  over;  the 
hour  of  calm  reflection  has  come.  In  the  light  of 
retrospection  I  hope  I  may  be  able,  truthfully,  to 
record  the  successful  honors  with  which  the  never- 
to-be-forgotten  occasion  has  been  crowned. 

Precisely  at  the  hour  appointed  the  procession 
was  formed.  The  music  of  the  town-clock  struck 
up,  and  Mrs.  Stebbins  swung  the  Squire  into  the 
store  upon  her  right  arm. 

I  marshalled  them  at  once  through  the  windings 
of  the  work-room  into  my  sanctum,  which  was  to  be 
the  theatre  of  exhibition.  I  seated  my  audience  in 
two  portly  easy-chairs,  in  front  of  the  stage,  —  the 
table,  —  and  went  on  to  make  my  exhibition,  by  my 
manner,  as  imposing  as  possible.  I  then  held  up 
before  their  delighted  eyes  the  simplest  bonnet  of 
the  three  which  I  had  made  for  the  purpose. 

My  programme  was  to  show  the  cheapest,  plain- 
est bonnet  first,  and  keep  the  most  showy,  expensive 
one,  the  one  I  supposed  she  would  buy,  as  the  last 
great  crowning  show  of  the  entertainment.  I  don't 
know  why  I  did  that ;  I  think  it  was  instinctive  wis- 


126  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

dom,  or  following  of  the  habits  of  those  who  better 
understand  managing  human  nature  than  I  do. 

I  have  often  wondered  why  at  theatres  and  other 
places  of  entertainment,  the  best  performances  are 
reserved  till  the  last  It  is  very  tiresome  to  wait 
through  stupid  scenes  in  expectation  of  them,  but  I 
suspect  there  is  wisdom  in  the  arrangement.  The 
better  the  last  scene  the  more  pleasant  will  be  the 
impression  of  the  place  after  departure  from  it. 
The  pleasanter  the  impression  upon  the  memory, 
the  more  likely  the  person  will  be  to  return  again 
to  enjoy  another  entertainment.  I  certainly  wished 
to  make  my  customer  so  well  pleased  with  the  bon- 
net that  she  would  buy  it ;  not  only  that,  but  come 
again  to  buy  another. 

Mrs.  Squire  Stebbins  went  into  beatitudes  over 
the  first  bonnet  I  held  up.  No  doubt  she  had  pre- 
pared her  ecstacies  beforehand,  and  understood 
where  to  applaud. 

She  caught  the  bonnet  from  my  hand,  and  ex- 
claimed over  and  over  again,  — 

"  Is  n't  it  a  beauty,  dear  ?    Is  n't  it  a  perfect  love  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Ducky,  I  've  no  doubt  it  is,"  he  replied,  doing 
his  best  to  sympathize  with  the  emotions  of  his  bet- 
ter half;  "  but  you  know  I  must  see  a  bonnet  on  to 
judge  how  it  looks." 

She  began  to  untie  her  own  bonnet,  in  order  to 
give  the  one  she  held  in  her  hand  the  finishing  ef- 
fect of  her  handsome  countenance.  Some  might 
call  her  a  little  too  stout  to  be  fine  looking,  and  her 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  127 

face  a  little  too  full  to  be  pretty.  To  me  her  fullness 
only  betokened  a  bountiful  table,  and  her  placid 
countenance  the  repose  of  contentment  produced 
by  the  quiet  entailed  in  inheritance  of  a  full  purse. 

The  Squire  was  her  counterpart,  with  an  addi- 
tional twinkle  in  his  sharp  black  eyes,  which  would 
bear  the  interpretation  of  jolly. 

I  interrupted  her  purpose  of  putting  on  the  bon- 
net, by  telling  her  that  I  had  one  or  two  others  that 
I  would  like  to  show  her  before  she  tried  any. 

She  looked  at  them  a  few  minutes  in  silence,  and 
then  gave  vent  to  her  delight,  always  addressing 
herself  to  the  Squire. 

"  They  are  all  loves,  ain't  they,  Hubby  dear  ?  I 
really  don't  know  which  is  the  prettiest." 

"  They  are  all  loves,"  echoed  the  Squire  with  a 
chuckle.  "  Put  on  one." 

"  I  don't  know  which  one  to  choose  ;  I'm  in  love 
with  them  all." 

"  Don't  make  me  jealous  by  giving  me  a  rival 
in  a  bonnet ;  put  on  one,  and  swim  round  a  little, 
Ducky,  and  let  me  see  how  you  look." 

"  Which  one,  Hubby  ?  I  really  don't  know  which 
is  the  prettiest,  they  are  all  so  beautiful !  " 

"  Either,  no  matter  which  ;  I  can't  tell  any  thing 
about  a  bonnet  till  I  see  it  on." 

I  foresaw  this  dilemma  at  the  commencement  of 
the  scene,  and  prepared  for  it.  I  saw  that  she  was 
not  able  to  choose  her  own  bonnet,  I  must  make  the 
choice  for  her.  She  wished  for  a  handsome,  becom- 


128  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

ing  bonnet,  and  that  was  all  she  knew  about  it.  She 
wished  me  to  understand  her  deficiency,  and  supply 
it,  but  she  would  n't  care  to  have  her  husband  think 
her  a  ninny ;  hence  the  little  airs  and  graces  put  on 
to  cover  up  her  ignorance. 

She  was  keen  enough  in  reading  human  nature,  if 
she  could  n't  tell  about  bonnets,  and  adapting  her- 
self to  those  with  whom  she  had  to  do. 

When  she  came  first  to  me  she  had  Mrs.  Tall- 
madge  in  her  mind,  although  she  didn't  mention  her. 
She  understood,  and  wished  to  put  her  own  case  in 
opposition  to  that  of  the  notable  lady  mayoress ;  so 
she  told  me  to  spare  no  expense. 

I  took  up  the  one  I  had  designed  for  her,  and 
said,  — "  This  is  the  most  expensive  bonnet,  but  I 
think  it  the  handsomest  and  the  most  becoming  one 
for  her." 

"  Put  that  on  then,"  chuckled  the  Squire.  "  You 
shall  have  the  handsomest  there  is,  so  long  as  you 
are  Mrs.  Squire  Stebbins  ; "  and  he  tapped  the  floor 
with  his  cane,  and  then  put  the  shining  gold  head  to 
his  lips. 

Had  it  been  a  proper  exhibition  of  satisfaction  I 
could  have  clapped  my  audience  ;  but  as  such  dem- 
onstrations usually  come  from  the  other  side,  I 
maintained  the  dignity  of  my  position.  Such  a  sen- 
timent was  by  no  means  vain  or  silly  to  rny  hearing, 
but  well  worthy  the  stronger  vessel  who  gave  it  ut- 
terance. 

What  mattered  it  that  his  vanity  in  Squire  Steb- 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  129 

bins,  and  his  purse,  and  his  position  in  the  world, 
and  all  of  his  surroundings  shone  forth  through  Mrs. 
Squire  Stebbins's  new  bonnet  ?  His  wife  was  a  part 
of  himself,  a  part  of  all  these  things,  vanity  included, 
and,  most  wonderful  announcement  of  all,  his  wife 
was  the  sharer  of  his  purse. 

Squire  Stebbins  and  Mrs.  Squire  Stebbins  were 
one  in  the  eye  of  the  law,  —  they  were  one  in  the 
esteem  of  Squire  Stebbins.  Here  was  a  glorious, 
compound,  double  duality !  It  was  a  feast  of  fat 
things,  of  wine  on  the  lees  well  refined,  without  one 
drop  of  selfishness. 

I  forgot,  for  the  moment,  that  I  was  selling  a 
handsome  bonnet  at  a  handsome  profit,  in  my  joy 
to  see  that  man  reckon  his  wife  bone  of  his  bone 
and  flesh  of  his  flesh,  a  part  of  his  outer  and  his 
inner  life,  the  inner  being  that  within  the  pocket. 

Flesh  she  was,  real,  genuine  adipose  to  an  un- 
known weight,  but  making  all  due  allowance  for  the 
enlargement  which  crinoline  made  to  her  borders,  it 
might  fairly  be  inferred  to  be  a  hundred  and  fifty 
pounds.  If  not  given  precedence  as  his  "  better 
half,"  she  was  duly  indorsed  as  an  equal  part  of  him- 
self. Not  with  lip  acknowledgment,  as  many  men 
theorize  when  they  talk  about  their  wives ;  but 
which  theory  subsides  into  subjection  to  interest 
when  new  bonnets  and  such  like  substantials  are  to 
be  provided  for  her  out  of  his  substance. 

His  substance !  echoes  the  inner  dual.  Why  is 
it  his  substance  ?  How  do  you  maintain  that  propo- 


130  DIARY    OF  A    MILLINER. 

sition  ?  .  How  comes  the  financial  substance  of  the 
marriage  partnership  to  belong  to  one  party  any 
more  than  it  does  to  one  partner  in  any  other  part- 
nership. Both  partners  are  equally  interested, 
spend  equal  time,  and  make  equal  efforts  to  main- 
tain the  establishment.  In  every  single  instance  ? 
No !  nor  are  the  labors  and  awards  of  every  other 
partnership  adjusted  to  the  perfect  satisfaction  of 
every  partner  in  every  single  instance. 

A  woman's  time  and  labor  are  not  worth  as  much 
as  a  man's.  Let  a  man  who  thinks  so  take  up  his 
time  in  doing  what  his  wife  does,  and  what  he  can- 
not get  on  without  having  done,  and  then  he  can  un- 
derstand how  much  time  he  would  have  left  to  at- 
tend to  more  important  concerns.  It  must  be  that 
men  jump  to  conclusions. 

Squire  and  Mrs.  Stebbins  were  affinities.  I  luxu- 
riated in  that  idea.  What  are  affinities  ?  This  in- 
stance of  affinities  made  the  answer  very  plain. 
Mrs.  Squire  Stebbins  made  it  the  one  object  of  her 
life  to  please  Squire  Stebbins,  and  Squire  Stebbins 
made  it  his  first  care  in  life  to  provide  for  the  hap- 
piness and  comfort  of  Mrs.  Squire  Stebbins. 

The  inner  dual  suggested,  here  is  a  simple  and 
natural  solution  of  what  has  been  considered  by 
some  a  mysterious,  supernatural  problem,  —  a  prob- 
lem which  has  been  vainly  attempting  to  explain  it- 
self for  a  long  time  through  various  matrimonial 
heresies.  If  Squire  and  Mrs.  Stebbins  are  an  ex- 
ample of  affinities  it  is  useless  to  go  into  spiritual 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  l-'il 

latitudes  in  order  to  make  them.  The  example  set 
by  the  uxorious  couple  need  only  to  be  followed  by 
all  married  people,  and  the  world  will  be  full  of 
affinities.  And  those  affinities  will  stand  out  in  bold 
relief,  in  grand  and  beautiful  proportions,  as  large  as 
life,  against  the  shams  and  mockeries  which  now  so 
frequently  represent  marriage. 

The  example  of  Squire  and  Mrs.  Stebbins  is  like 
apples  of  gold  in  pictures  of  silver ;  but  there 
would  be  no  need  to  copy  their  manners,  —  manners 
are  a  matter  of  personal  taste.  It  is  necessary  to 
practice  only  the  spirit  of  the  connection  in  order 
to  insure  success  in  an  effort  to  secure  affinities. 

But  take  particular  notice:  if  affinities  are  un- 
dertaken, in  order  to  insure  happy  results,  it  is  ab- 
solutely necessary  that  all  who  attempt  to  create 
them  should  individually  follow  the  example  of  their 
prototypes.  Unless  this  is  done,  the  whole  experi- 
ment will  fail.  The  affinities  will  still  continue  to 
manifest  themselves  in  the  vague,  unsatisfactory  form 
hitherto  represented,  instead  of  the  living,  breathing, 
glorious  realities  exhibited  by  Squire  an(i  Mrs.  Steb- 
bins. 

Only  united  effort  can  succeed.  If  husband  or  wife 
fail  to  do  his  or  her  part,  adieu  to  the  prospect  of 
affinities.  Neither  husband  or  wife,  single-handed 
and  alone,  can  create  affinities.  If  they  are  moral 
Samsons  in  outside  effort,  and  can  pull  down  solid 
temples  of  sin  with  single,  unaided  strength,  in  the 
hands  of  a  treacherous  Delilah,  which  notorious  in- 


132  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

dividual  may  prove  to  be  a  perverse  disposition  of 
their  own,  they  become  as  weak  to  create  affinities 
in  their  household  as  the  Israelitish  giant  became 
under  the  scissors  of  his  wife. 

Mrs.  Squire  Stebbins  put  on  the  handsomest  bon- 
net, as  directed,  and  revolved  slowly  in  a  circle,  sev- 
eral times  before  the  gaze  of  her  admiring  spouse, 
so  that  she  and  her  bonnet  might  be  viewed  from  all 
points. 

"  That  11  do,  Ducky  ;  now  take  a  look  at  yourself 
in  the  glass." 

She  obeyed,  and  gave  one  searching  look  at  the 
model  she  displayed  to  herself  by  reflection. 

"  Is  n't  it  superb,  Hubby  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  I  see  two  superbs,  Mollie  !  " 

"  Counting  myself  and  the  bonnet  ?  The  bonnet 
first.  Does  it  suit  you,  Hubby  ?  "  she  replied. 

"  Does  it  suit  you,  Mollie  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  think  it  is  the  sweetest  thing  I  ever  saw." 

"  That  was  n't  human  ?  "  asked  the  Squire. 

"  Yes,  that  was  n't  human  ;  I  sha'n't  be  ashamed  to 
wear  that  bonnet  anywhere."  Then  she  turned  to 
me.  "  I  am  going  to  New  York  by  and  by.  My 
husband  is  going,  and  he  thinks  he  can't  go  any- 
where without  me,  and  I  like  to  look  well  on  his  ac- 
count. I  like  to  make  him  proud  of  me ;  and  I  am 
glad  he  thinks  he  can't  go  without  me." 

"  Eh,  Mollie ;  or  do  you  like  to  go  with  me  and 
show  yourself  off?  " 

"  If  it  pleases  you  to  have  me  go,  and  to  see  me 
show  myself  off,  I  do." 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  133 

"  How  much  is  that  gew-gaw  ?  "  he  asked  me. 

I  told  him.  He  took  out  his  purse  and  handed 
me  the  money. 

"  I  '11  make  you  a  present  of  that  bonnet,  Mollie. 
I  suppose  that  is  what  you  brought  me  here  for.  1 
mistrusted,  when  you  invited  me  to  come  with  you, 
that  your  purse  was  getting  light." 

"  No  indeed ;  I  Ve  plenty  !  "  and  she  shook  a  well- 
filled  purse  before  his  eyes  ;  "  but  I  accept  the  pres- 
ent with  many  thanks." 

"  No  doubt ;  you  are  very  welcome,"  he  said  with 
a  bow  of  mock  politeness.  Then  turning  to  me  he 
added,"  I  thought  this  a  stratgeic  manoeuvre  to  let  me 
know  she  was  out  of  funds.  Such  hints  are  usually 
given,  when  the  tide  has  nearly  ebbed,  and  she  is 
almost  ashore." 

"  Is  n't  it  a  good  fortune  to  be  obliged  to  give 
nothing  but  hints  in  that  quarter  ?  "  she  asked  me. 

May  that  couple  never  hide  their  conjugal  candle 
under  a  bushel.  May  it  be  set  up  before  the  world 
and  burn,  and  give  light  to  all  people  that  dwell  in 
this  great  temple  of  married  life. 

The  performance  for  this  day  is  over. 


XV. 

MAY  30, 18  — . 

I  WAS  obliged  to  descend  from  the  mountain  Eben- 
ezer  whereon  I  was  perched  yesterday,  far  above  the 
storms  and  hurricanes  of  life.  To-day  I  have  had 
the  common  elements  of  humanity  to  deal  with 
again.  I  bade  adieu  to  the  heights  with  regret :  I  held 
glorious  revel  there,  too  glorious  to  be  of  long  con- 
tinuance. 

There  is  no  position,  unless  it  is  when  one  is  in 
love,  where  the  female  dual  can  so  set  forth  the 
character  to  the  observation  of  her  fellows  as  in 
shopping.  The  performance  of  that  necessary  duty 
requires  the  quintessence  of  stratagem  put  forth  in 
the  most  delicate  manner  to  accomplish  selfish  ends 
successfully.  Indeed,  managing  traders  is  very 
much  like  managing  lovers,  so  far  as  obtaining  the 
end  sought  is  accomplished. 

It  can  safely  be  averred  of  traders  that,  as  a  class, 
they  are  violently  enamored  of  their  profits. 

A  highway  robber  would  be  met  more  cordially, 
and  esteemed  more  highly  by  those  with  whom  he 
has  to  do,  than  a  highway  shopper,  because  the  high- 
wayman openly  and  avowedly  violates  the  laws  of  de- 
cency and  honesty  in  taking  by  force  what  belongs  to 
another,  and  the  highway  shopper  puts  on  airs  of 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  135 

innocence  and  respectability  while  he  does  the  same 
thing. 

No  one  would  be  willing  to  be  classed  among  the 
ostracized  gentry,  richly  as  he  might,  in  the  esteem 
of  the  trader,  deserve  the  distinction  ;  but  many  a 
tradesman  or  woman  would  be  most  happy  to  fur- 
nish the  uniform,  provided  it  could,  like  States-prison 
habiliments,  indicate  offenders  to  all  observers. 

If  there  were  a  ready-made  clothing  store  estab- 
lished to  accommodate  customers  of  that  description, 
what  a  scrambling  there  would  be  among  neighbors 
to  fit  each  other,  suggests  the  inner. 

I  have  had  a  great  many  examples  of  that  kind 
presented  to  my  observation,  but  it  is  not  exactly  of 
a  highway  shopper  that  I  am  going  to  tell  you,  my 
Journal ;  the  customer  would  figure  to  a  little  better 
advantage  in  the  burglary  troop.  Her  onslaught 
was  more  upon  goods  than  profits. 

My  trial  to-day  came  in  the  shape  of  a  young 
lady  from  the  country.  She  was  in  town  to  make  a 
visit,  and  came  in  the  store  to  buy  mamma  a  cap. 
Every  thing  I  had  made  up  was  too  dear,  and  not 
of  the  right  form.  Mamma  was  an  invalid,  did  n't 
go  out  at  all ;  therefore  it  was  unnecessary  to  have 
any  thing  dressy  or  expensive.  She  had  lost  her 
hair  in  one  place,  and  required  a  particular  form  of 
cap  to  conceal  the  misfortune.  She  selected  her 
materials,  described  the  form  of  cap  required,  lim- 
ited the  price,  and  left. 

In  the  afternoon  she  came  back,  examined  the  cap, 


136  DIARY   Or  A   MILLINER. 

said  it  would  do  nicely  for  what  mamma  wanted  ; 
took  it,  and  paid  for  it.  In  about  two  hours  she  re- 
turned with  a  young  lady  friend,  and  the  cap. 

She  showed  it  to  me,  and  said  it  did  n't  exactly 
suit. 

"  I  will  make  any  change  you  desire,"  I  said  "  al- 
though it  would  have  saved  me  trouble  to  have  had 
it  done  before  it  went  out  of  the  store." 

"  Oh  no  !  I  could  n  't  think  of  putting  you  to  that 
trouble,"  she  disclaimed  earnestly. 

"  Then  I  don't  know  as  any  thing  can  be  done 
about  it,"  I  replied. 

I  saw  that  she  wished  me  to  take  the  cap,  and  re- 
turn her  the  money  ;  but  I  did  n't  propose  to  do  so, 
for  reasons  which  must  be  evident  to  any  one  of 
common  sense. 

"  Let  us  go  up  and  see  if  mamma  has  n't  some- 
thing by  which  to  alter  it,"  proposed  the  accompany- 
ing friend. 

They  left,  and  went  up  town,  or  professed  to  do 
so.  The  longer  I  stay  in  business  the  more  suspi- 
cious I  grow  of  professions.  In  a  very  short  time 
they  returned.  If  they  went  up  town,  up-town 
mamma  had  nothing  as  a  pattern  by  which  to  al- 
ter it. 

Both  stood  looking  the  poor  offending  cap  over. 
"  It  really  did  n't  suit  her  !  " 

I  xmderstood  that  she  had  found  something:  some- 

O 

where  else  that  suited  her  better.     Perhaps  up-town 
mamma  had  an  old-fashioned  cap  that  she  wished  to 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  137 

dispose  of  to  a  country  relation.  Whatever  the 
other  circumstance  might  be  I  was  confident  she 
wished  me  to  take  the  cap,  and  give  her  the  money ; 
but  I  stood  silent  to  let  her  propose  it. 

"  I  should  n't  think  of  asking  you  to  take  it  back," 
she  said,  hesitatingly. 

"  Certainly  not !  "  I  replied.  "  It  is  one  of  my 
rules  never 'to  take  a  piece  of  cut  goods  back.  If  I 
were  to  do  it,  my  ribbons  and  laces  would  be  sep- 
arated into  inch  bits,  and  left  on  my  hands.  Inexpe- 
rienced as  you  are,  you  can  see  that  that  would  n't 
do." 

"  But  I  really  did  n't  see  how  it  was  going  to  look 
before  it  was  made.  How  could  I  tell  till  I  saw  it  ?  " 

"  But  it  would  n't  do  for  us  to  cut  up  our  goods  in 
making  experiments  for  you  to  see." 

"  But  I  am  not  suited  in  the  cap." 

"  You  selected  your  own  materials,  described  the 
form,  and  limited  the  price.  For  so  small  a  sum, 
out  of  so  scanty  materials,  we  could  n't  make  a  pretty 
cap ;  but  we  did  the  best  we  could.  You  had  the 
thing  in  your  own  hands  from  the  beginning ;  I  don't 
see  that  we  are  in  fault  about  it." 

"  I  know  you  are  not,"  she  replied,  and  they 
went  out  again  for  a  few  moments,  but  returned 
shortly  as  dissatisfied  as  ever. 

"  It  really  don't  suit  me  !  would  n't  you  be  good 
enough  to  take  it  again  ?  " 

I  explained  to  her  that  the  lace  and  ribbon,  being 
cut,  were  spoiled  to  sell. 


138  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  But  you  are  always  selling  caps,"  she  urged. 

"  Certainly ;  but  I  should  never  make  a  cap  in 
that  form  to  sell ;  it  is  unfashionable.  Nor  should  I 
think  of  making  a  cap  of  such  ordinary  materials  to 
put  in  the  store.  I  could  n't  sell  it  if  I  did.  That 
cap  was  made  to  fit  your  mother's  head,  which  is  a 
peculiar  head,  and  her  taste,  which  is  a  peculiar  taste. 
If  I  were  to  take  it,  and  make  it  over  for  the  store, 
there  would  be  a  waste  of  time  and  the  material  that 
would  make  it  an  utter  loss.  Indeed  it  is  so  cut  up 
that  I  could  n't  make  a  cap  at  all,  —  it  is  too  broad  at 
the  top,  and  too  narrow  at  the  bottom." 

"  You  are  always  using  pieces  of  lace,"  she  per- 
sisted. 

"  Yes.  and  I  make  plenty  without  buying  them. 
Are  you  not  constantly  requiring  pieces  of  lace  ? 
most  ladies  are.  It  was  cut  up,  and  made  unsalable 
through  your  mistake,  not  mine.  If  you  make  a 
mistake,  it  is  for  you  to  bear  the  consequence  of  it. 
Don't  you  see  what  you  are  doing  when  you  wish  to 
make  me  bear  the  expense  of  your  mistakes  ?  "  I 
asked  this  in  sham  surprise  that  she  should  desire  so 
unheard-of  a  thing.  I  was  not  surprised  ;  nor  should 
I  be  at  any  thing  that  might  be  asked  of  me,  if  it  were 
to  give  away  a  bill  of  sale  of  my  goods  with  myself 
included. 

She  could  see  nothing  but  that  she  wished  me  to 
take  the  cap,  and  return  her  the  money.  The  enor- 
mous amount  of  one  dollar  seventy-five  cents  was 
the  sum  in  contention.  She  acknowledged  the  fault 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  139 

to  be  hers,  but,  woman-like,  she  could  n't  carry  out 
the  reasoning  that  followed  practically,  that  it  was  her 
place  to  bear  the  loss. 

She  had  made  up  her  mind  to  sponge,  —  yes,  hard 
as  the  word  is,  there  is  such  a  word  in  unadulterated 
Anglo-Saxon,  and  if  there  is  such  a  word  it  was 
made  to  be  used,  and  if  it  was  made  to  be  used  it 
never  was  more  applicable  than  in  this  connection, — 
she  intended  to  sponge  that  dollar  seventy-five  cents 
out  of  me.  I  had  arrived  at  an  equally  decided  con- 
clusion that  I  would  n't  stand  sponging.  Not  that  I 
cared  for  the  trifling  sum  of  money,  I  had  far  sooner 
given  it  her  than  suffer  the  annoyance  she  had  made 
me;  but  I  intended  to  exercise  my  free  moral 
agency  in  bestowing  my  charity,  not  upon  her,  but 
where  I  chose.  The  fact  is,  I  had  got  my  back  up 
by  her  behavior,  and  would  neither  be  driven  or 
coaxed.  I  was  in  no  mood  to  give  my  cloak  when 
my  coat  was  taken.  In  fact,  I  was  in  no  mood  to 
give  up  my  coat  peaceably. 

I  was  thoroughly  indignant !  How  that  dollar 
seventy-five  cents  must  have  grown  and  enlarged  in 
her  view  as  she  dwelt  upon  its  departure.  "  How 
blessings  brighten  as  they  take  their  flight."  How 
it  diminished,  growing  smaller  and  smaller,  and  beau- 
tifully less  in  my  esteem  as  I  regarded  it  to  be  her 
loss. 

"  Still,  I  would  rather  make  a  sacrifice  on  the  cap 
than  keep  it,"  she  urged. 

She  probably  saw  my  emotions  as  through  a  glass 


140  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

darkly.  I  had  become  exasperated,  lost  my  temper ; 
or  become  nervous,  as  delicate  individuals  report 
themselves  when  they  get  out  of  humor  ;  I  would  n't 
take  the  ill-favored  thing  at  any  rate.  I  can't  de- 
scribe to  you,  dear  Journal,  how  ugly  that  cap  had 
come  to  look  in  my  eyes.  I  would  n't  have  con- 
tinued it  in  my  sight  a  moment,  only  that  I  was 
obliged  to  endure  it.  If  she  had  left  it,  as  her 
threatening  looks  portended,  I  should  have  taken 
the  poker  to  the  odious  thing,  and  hustled  it  uncere- 
moniously into  the  obscure  quarters  which  we  de- 
nominate the  rag  bag. 

"  Then,  my  dear  child,"  I  said,  oiling  the  outside  of 
the  tart  rejoinder  with  gentleness,  "  you  had  better 
make  the  sacrifice  by  taking  the  cap,  and  saying  no 
more  about  it." 

I  really  pitied  the  ignorance  in  which  she  had 
been  educated,  and  I  thought  I  would  make  one 
more  effort  to  explain  the  state  of  the  case  by  illus- 
tration. 

"  You  would  n't  think  of  buying  a  dress,  having 
it  made  up,  then  returning  to  the  store  where  you 
bought  it,  and  ask  them  to  take  it  again  because 
you  had  changed  your  mind  ?  "  I  said. 

"  That  would  be  a  different  thing,"  she  replied. 

"  A  difference  without  distinction.  One  garment 
would  be  a  cap,  the  other  a  dress.  If  your  money 
is  of  value  to  you,  this  will  be  a  good  lesson  to  teach 
you  how  to  spend  it.  You  will  hereafter  look  around, 
see  what  there  is  in  the  market,  and  determine  what 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  141 

you  want,  without  asking  milliners  to  cut  up  their 
goods  in  experimenting  for  your  benefit.  Instead 
of  trying  to  make  other  people  make  up  for  your 
losses,  and  suffer  for  your  ignorance,  you  will  bear 
them  silently  at  the  time,  and  learn  wisdom  from 
them  for  the  future." 

Perhaps  she  will  be  profited  by  my  advice,  and  the 
occasion  of  it. 

When  the  young  lady  found  it  impossible  to  in- 
duce me  to  pay  for  her  mistake,  she  took  up  the  of- 
fending bone  of  contention,  and  left  without  even  in- 
clining her  head  in  valedictory  of  departure.  But  the 
young  lady  who  was  with  her  did  n't  deign  to  let  me 
off  so  politely.  She  turned  round,  and  with  a  sig- 
nificant nod  fretted  out, — 

"  You  can  do  as  you  please  ;  but  you  will  be  sorry 
for  being  so  disobliging.  It  does  n't  do  for  shop- 
keepers to  be  too  independent." 

Her  remark  signified  to  me  that  she  would  take  her 
revenge  by  injuring  my  reputation  as  a  shop-keeper. 

The  poor  little  simpleton  really  thought  that  she 
was  impressing  me  with  the  necessity  of  being  more 
amiable  to  my  customers.  Instead,  she  was  actually 
stamping  her  inner  character  upon  her  outside  man- 
ners. I  set  her  down  as  possessing  a  disposition  to 
make  arbitrary  exactions  of  black  mail  wherever  she 
could  succeed.  The  petty  tyranny  being  successfully 
resisted,  she  would  revenge  the  abortion  of  her  at- 
tempt by  injuring  me  all  in  her  power. 

If  the    young    lady  castigate   my   back,   in    my 


142  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

absence,  I  refuse  to  smart  under  the  rod.  I  have  so 
long  belonged  to  the  suffering  class  of  humanity  that 
suffering  has  become  my  normal  condition. 

If  she  flourish  in  the  vocation  of  reporter,  those 
who  hear  to  understand  and  remember  her  "jot- 
tings," will  be  of  her  own  kind.  "  Birds  of  a  feather 

O    7 

flock  together."  In  that  case  an  overruling  Hand  may 
bring  good  out  of  evil.  To  save  one  dollar  seventy- 
five  cents,  in  an  ordinary  numerical  calculation  upon 
such  customers,  might  in  the  course  of  time,  a  cen- 
tury or  two,  become  quite  a  stock  in  trade,  and  give 
my  great-great-grand-children  the  eclat  of  belonging 
to  one  of  the  first  families. 

If  the  wrath  of  that  young  Avoman  can't  be  made 
to  praise  me  in  any  way,  I  count  myself  competent 
to  praise  myself  in  her  behalf.  Which  benevolent 
undertaking  I  accomplish  by  saying,  that  I  am  pos- 
sessed of  that  desirable  equanimity  of  temper  that 
refuses  to  allow  itself  to  be  disturbed  in  consequence 
of  becoming  the  subject  of  any  such  sensational 
items  as  she  may  see  fit  to  put  in  circulation. 

In  the  conscious  rectitude  of  my  side  of  the  story 
I  tranquilly  repose.  If  a  lie  will  go  around  the 
world  while  the  truth  is  pulling  his  boots  on.  deliber- 
ate as  his  action  may  be,  the  truth  is  sure  to  follow. 

In  view  of  the  following  statement,  a  few  remarks 
may  be  profitable,  by  way  of  inference  and  improve- 
ment. 

When  the  young  lady  wished  me  to  take  back  the 
cap,  she  was  spending  my  money :  when  she  was 
obliged  to  keep  it,  she  was  spending  her  own. 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  143 

« 

I  have  observed  that  one  of  the  easiest  things  in 
the  world  to  accomplish  is  the  spending  of  other  peo- 
ple's money.  I  have  seen  a  man  sit  down,  take  his 
pencil  and  paper,  and  spend  his  neighbor's  whole 
fortune  with  one  or  two  dashes  of  black  lead.  I 
have  seen  him  buy  his  neighbor  an  estate,  furnish 
his  house,  supply  his  larder,  fill  his  stable,  regulate 
his  charities,  coolly  distribute  a  million  or  so,  without 
causing  a  single  pang  to  rend  his  own  heart  at  the 
parting.  Generous  man !  But  when  it  comes  to 
spending  one's  own,  —  aye,  there  is  the  hitch  ! 

In  the  same  spirit,  I  have  seen  one  brother  bear 
another  brother's  reverses  and  bereavements. 

I  have  seen  a  whole  circle  of  friends  bear  up  under 
the  afflictions  of  one  friend's  family  with  a  fortitude 
and  resignation  worthy  to  be  held  up  as  an  example 
for  the  imitation  of  all  observers. 

It  is  truly  astonishing  how  much  human  nature 
will  endure  without  murmuring,  when  it  is  afflicted 
in  behalf  of  others  ! 


XVI. 

JUNE  1, 18—. 

JUDGE  MAT  came  in  this  morning,  and  paid  Rose's 
bill.  I  ventured  to  ask,  I  was  so  anxious  to  know,  — 

"  Did  the  bonnet  suit  ?  " 

"  Perfectly,  I  think  ;  I  heard  no  fault  expressed," 
he  answered. 

I  asked  again,  "  All  round  ?  " 

"  All  round,"  he  replied,  "  I  liked  it.  It  looked 
like  Rosie.  Mrs.  May  is  not  quite  well  to-day,  or 
she  would  have  been  down  herself,  and  as  several 
days  may  elapse  before  she  gets  round  she  asked  me 
to  step  in  and  pay  you.  She  dislikes  very  much  to 
have  a  little  bill  standing." 

"  Tell  her,  if  you  please,  that  I  am  obliged  to  her 
for  feeling  so ;  not  that  I  need  the  money,"  I  added 
quickly,  fearing  he  might  think  I  did  from  my  eager- 
ness in  speaking. 

"  I  understand  ;  you  like  the  principle  of  prompt- 
ness. We  know  that  you  may  have  the  opportunity 
to  use  the  money  two  or  three  times  in  as  many  days, 
and  get  your  interest  every  time  you  use  it,  if  we  pay 
you  when  your  bill  is  due.  If  it  lies  idle  in  our 
purse  "  — 

"Our  purse!"  I  echoed,  I  couldn't  help  it.  I 
was  startled  out  of  all  propriety  by  the  expression, 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  145 

and  my  voice  rang  through  the  room  in  a  scream  of 
surprise. 

The  Judge  took,  entered  into  the  spirit  of  my  idea, 
and  laughed  heartily.  I  was  ashamed  of  myself.  I 
could  only  blush  and  simper  like  a  little  girl. 

"  Yes,  it  is  our  purse  at  our  house.  We  know  so 
long  as  we  neglect  to  pay  you,  we  are  keeping  you 
out  of  the  use  of  your  money." 

Your  money !  Human  nature,  your  redemption 
draweth  nigh  !  it  is- at  hand  ;  it  is  here  !  We  are  affin- 
ities, —  Judge  May  whom  I  have  seen,  and  Mrs.  Judge 
May  whom  I  have  not  seen  !  Our  spirits  assimilate 
if  we  never  meet  in  the  flesh.  Whoever  before 
thought  of  calling  a  milliner's  money  hers  till  she  got 
it,  even  if  that  desirable  event  delay  transpiring  on 
this  side  the  River. 

A  word  to  the  wise  is  sufficient,  and  Judge  May 
has  said  that  word  in  favor  of  prompt  payments. 

Judge  May  had  scarcely  passed  out  of  the  door 
when  two  shadows  darkened  it.  No,  those  two  ladies 
did  not  darken  the  door,  they  only  turned  down  the 
light  that  came  in  through  it. 

Human  transparencies !  no  oils  of  gladness  could 
have  painted  the  lights  and  shadows  which  made  your 
images  stand  out  on  the  canvas  of  life !  Lean, 
lank,  cadaverous,  hungry-looking  mortals  !  are  you 
human  ?  or  are  you  galvanized  skeletons  dressed  up 
to  personify  Want  ?  You  must  be  human  women,  or 
you  would  never  be  around  looking  after  such  gear 
as  I  keep  for  the  adornment  of  flesh  and  blood.  If 
JO 


146  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

you  are  from  the  nether  regions,  the  ruling  passion 
had  strength  enough  in  you— poor  woman's  foible  ! — 
to  form  a  line  of  communication  between  this  world 
and  the  other  to  bring  you  back  shopping. 

Here,  on  the  surface,  appears  —  to  look  deeper  in- 
to it  it  might  be  doubtful  about  the  fact  holding  to- 
gether —  a  remedy  for  the  necessary  idleness  of  a 
large  class  of  women  in  the  Beyond.  There  being 
no  millinery  or  dry-goods  stores  on  the  other  side, 
to  afford  them  occupation  and  entertainment,  idle- 
ness, the  prolific  source  of  evil,  must  ensue,  and  un- 
limited mischief,  as  a  legitimate  result,  be  concocted 
there. 

I  establish  the  proposition  that  many  a  woman 
must  be  idle  in  the  future  life,  by  an  allowable  pro- 
cess of  reasoning.  In  this  life  her  whole  education 
and  occupation  has  been  dress.  Spiritual  employ- 
ments have  been  unlearned,  unpracticed ;  therefore, 
she  must,  per  force,  be  idle  unless  she  find  some 
means  to  follow  her  old  occupation.  The  force  of 
habit  is  allowed,  by  all  observers,  to  be  the  greatest 
mental  assistance  which  advanced  age  employs  in 
performing  the  occupations  of  life  ;  therefore  it  is 
no  fair  inference  to  suppose  a  woman  will  form  new 
tastes,  and  enter  new  occupations  after  she  has  spent 
a  lifetime  in  forming  the  habit  of  following  one  par- 
ticular one. 

Now  if  her  inexhaustible,  imperishable  love  of  dress 
can  be  taken  with  her,  —  love  is  an  element  of  the 
soul  in  its  vitality,  —  who  knows,  since  the  wonderful 
success  of  telegraphic  inventions,  what  human  skill 


DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER.  147 

may  be  able  to  accomplish  !  Who  knows  but  some 
ingenious  human  being  may  be  able  to  form  a  line  of 
communication  between  woman's  love  of  dress  on 
the  other  side,  and  milliners'  stores,  whose  eternal 
doom  is  to  revel  on  this  !  Should  that  be  so,  I  shall 
set  no  magnets  to  attract  my  old  customers.  I  see  a 
possible  difficulty  in  the  way  of  trading  with  them. 
I  am  not  acquainted  with  the  currency  of  spiritual 
green-backs,  and  I  am  at  a  little  loss  to  know  how 
my  profits  would  be  dispensed. 

In  looking  over  the  walking  phenomena  supposed 
to  be  human  duals,  I  discovered  them  to  be  made 
up  on  very  good  frames.  The  coverings,  if  they  had 
been  brushed  up  with  a  little  paint,  would  have  been 
presentable.  They  really  proved  to  be  genuine 
frames  and  coverings,  in  despite  of  my  forebodings. 
The  greatest  deficiency  which  presented  itself  to  my 
examination  was  a  lack  of  stuffing,  which  might  be 
denominated  plumpness,  that  part  of  the  female  cor- 
porate which  flatterers  denominate  its  "  rounded, 
beautiful  outline."  Cotton,  in  very  minute  quantities, 
supplied,  or  attempted  to  supply,  the  deficiency.  But 
cotton  is  too  expensive  an  article  to  be  consumed  for 
the  purely  artistic  purpose  of  embellishment  in  creat- 
ing symmetric  proportions ;  therefore  it  had  been 
used  sparingly. 

Hunger,  or  gentility,  I  could  hardly  decide  which, 
was  written  all  over  them.  To  my  reading  it  was 
hunger.  How  I  longed  to  take  them  home,  and 
give  them,  six  months'  board,  or  what  would  be  an 


148  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

improvement  on  my  good  intentions,  get  them  a  seat 
at  Squire  Stebbins'  table,  with  a  dessert  of  his  little 
chuckle  turned  into  rounds  of  hearty  laughter.  It 
may  be  vulgar  to  eat  heartily,  and  it  may  be  vulgar 
to  laugh  heartily ;  but  both  exercises,  properly  regu- 
lated, are  conducive  to  good  health,  and  conse- 
quently good  looks.  What  more  powerful  motive 
could  be  placed  before  a  woman  to  induce  her  to 
commit  both  vulgarities  ? 

Those  anatomies  came  to  get  a  piece  of  green 
ribbon,  in  the  enormous  quantity  of  one  yard,  to 
make  a  bow.  The  cost  was  one  shilling  a  yard. 

They  seated  themselves  before  the  counter  with 
the  due  solemnity  required  by  the  occasion,  uncased 
their  hands,  and  laid  their  gloves  carefully  down. 
Then  they  deliberately  examined  the  ribbon  which 
I  put  before  them,  comparing  the  different  pieces, 
and  descanting  on  the  quality  of  each.  When  they 
had  decided  which  to  take  they  began  to  cheapen  it. 
I  made  that  a  rapid  proceeding.  I  would  have 
given  all  the  green  ribbon  I  had  to  see  them  vanish, 
like  Macbeth's  ghost,  into  thin  air.  I  had  no  fault 
to  find  with  their  thinness,  they  were  successful 
competitors  for  ghostly  honors  in  that  respect. 

I  was  chilled  through  !  My  teeth  chattered  !  In 
another  moment  I  should  have  been  frozen  into  an 
icicle,  or  a  statue,  or  an  ice-crearn,  lacking  the  con- 
diments. 

When  they  took  their  departure  I  never  exactly 
knew,  but  my  ears  were  subjected  to  a  visitation  of 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  149 

creaking  which  I  supposed  came  from  their  joints  as 
they  moved  over  the  floor.  When  I  ventured  to 
look  they  were  gone. 

A  year  has  been  added  to  my  age  in  a  day,  which 
elongation  was  produced  by  the  awful  solemnities  of 
that  green  ribbon  occasion. 

When  I  revived,  I  took  the  whole  matter  under 
consideration,  and  pity  supplanted  horror  in  my« 
emotions.  That  shows  to  a  demonstration  the  ex- 
pulsive power  of  a  new  emotion.  A  parallel  may 
very  properly  be  applied  to  the  affections,  and  thus 
save  pages  of  theological  discussion,  if  theologians 
would  avail  themselves  of  my  discovery. 

My  pity  was  not  of  that  character  which  is  nearly 
allied  to  love,  it  was  nearer  akin  to  fear.  In  my 
girlhood  I  suffered  shockingly  through  the  instru- 
mentality of  two  respectable  unmarried  ladies  of  un- 
mentionable age,  who  looked  and  acted  precisely 
like  the  two  who  came  in  to-day. 

O  memory !  thy  capacity  is  powerful  for  good  or 
evil !  Is  it  possible  thou  wilt  condescend  to  lend 
thyself  to  the  naughty  purpose  of  keeping  that  old 
spite  alive  in  my  heart !  Shocking  perversion  of  a 
noble  faculty ! 


xvn. 

JUNE  5, 18 — . 

•  THAT  precious,  invaluable  little  dual,  that  pearl  of 
womanity,  Mrs.  Quickly,  came  in  this  afternoon  to 
leave  her  orders.  I  had  been  fretted  to  death,  and 
was  at  cross  purposes  with  all  womankind,  but  she 
set  me  right  in  a  moment.  Her  bright,  cheerful 
face  is  a  beam  of  sunshine  wherever  it  shows  itself. 
Her  salutation  was  a  cheery,  musical,  — 

"  Good  afternoon  !  and  a  right  good  afternoon  it 
is  !  I  wish  you  were  at  liberty  to  go  out,  and  drink 
in  the  fresh  air  as  I  have  done.  It  is  more  invigor- 
ating than  wine ! " 

In  my  heart  I  echoed  the  wish.  I  did  n't  like  to 
express  it,  but  as  the  novelty  of  my  new  employ- 
ment wears  off  I  begin  to  feel  the  confinement  of  it. 
I  am  afraid  my  adventure  in  trade  will  prove  more 
ii'ksome  than  amusing  to  me.  I  begin  to  see  how 
constant  delving  wears  into  the  muscles  and  the 
spirit.  The  kind  of  necessity  that  controls  one  is 
of  little  consequence.  It  is  the  relentless  must  be 
that  binds  him  down  to  his  especial  care,  which 
proves  the  galling,  cankering  fetter.  The  invisible 
band  is  always  pressing  upon  the  muscles  of  the 
poor ;  it  presses  upon  the  muscles  of  the  rich.  Who- 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  151 

ever  lives  is,  in  some  way,  the  bond-slave  of  neces- 
sity, —  a  master  that  forever  points  the  thong  and 
drives  the  lash. 

"  How  tiresome  it  must  be  standing  here,  talking 
bonnets,  all  day  ;  I  will  be  as  expeditious  as  possible, 
but  I  must  tire  you  a  little  more.  I  have  three  jobs 
on  my  hands,  and  I  must  shift  them  on  yours,"  she 
said  briskly. 

"  I  am  here  on  purpose  to  be  tired  that  way,  "  I 
replied. 

"  I  know,  but  that  does  n't  make  it  any  more 
pleasant  to  be  tied  in-doors  this  fine  weather.  It 
is  very  agreeable  to  work  when  one  likes,  and  play 
when  one  likes,  but  it  is  the  lot  of  few." 

"  Household  duties  tie  you  to  the  same  care,  only 
it  allows  of  a  little  different  arrangement  when  one 
wishes  for  recreation  or  rest,"  I  replied  philosophi- 
cally. I  was  intent  upon  mastering  my  discontent, 
or  at  least  concealing  it. 

"  Yes,  the  cares  of  a  family  are  just  as  unflinching, 
and  peremptory  in  their  calls  as  yours ;  but,  as  you 
say,  some  things  can  be  put  by  so  that  I  can  get 
rest  if  I  need,  or  recreation  if  I  please.  They  are 
not  burdensome  cares  to  me,  because  they  are  to  my 
taste.  I  like  housekeeping.  There  is  an  exhilera- 
tion  in  the  exercise  of  sweeping,  dusting,  and  cook- 
ing that  is  very  agreeable.  Then,  it  is  so  pleasant  to 
see  things  nicely  done.  And  it  creates  a  proud,  sat- 
isfied feeling  to  see  something  accomplished." 

"  I  think  that  most  women  like  housekeeping,  un- 


152  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

less  their  tastes  have  been  perverted  by  false  senti- 
ments. And  it  is  one  of  the  Father's  wise  provis- 
ions that  it  is  so.  Still,  there  are  exceptions.  There 
are  those  with  whom  housekeeping  is  not  a  born 
vocation,  and  cannot  be  acquired.  Individual  capac- 
ity ought  to  be  consulted  as  much  in  a  woman's 
choice  of  occupation  as  in  a  man's." 

"  Certainly ;  and  I  was  about  to  say,  no  woman 
ought  to  marry  unless  her  vocation  is  for  housekeep- 
ing ;  but  it  would  have  been  a  very  thoughtless  re- 
mark, there  is  so  much  involved  in  marriage  beside 
that." 

"  But  when  a  woman  marries  she  ought  to  culti- 
vate a  taste  for  housekeeping  above  all  other  employ- 
ments. I  am  not  a  born  housekeeper.  It  requires 
double  the  study  and  care  for  me  to  manage  a  house 
well  that  it  does  to  do  many  other  things  which 
might  be  considered  quite  out  of  a  woman's  sphere. 
But  I  had  the  ambition  to  do  well  what  I  undertook ; 
so  by  giving  it  a  great  deal  of  attention  I  became  a 
tolerable  housekeeper.  It  was  far  more  fatiguing 
and  perplexing  than  my  present  business,  take  as 
much  pains  as  I  would  to  learn  the  best  ways  of  do- 
ing  it." 

"  Now,  for  the  bonnets  ; "  said  Mrs.  Quickly. 
"  First  comes  my  important  self.  Because  I  take 
precedence  of  the  rest  of  the  family  in  rank,  I  must 
be  attended  to  first  to  maintain  my  dignity." 

That  was  an  old-fashioned  sentiment  ;  but  the 
lady  who  adopted  it  understood  its  value,  and 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  153 

cherished  it  for  its  own  sake.  She  was  no  echo  of 
fashionable  sentiments.  Good,  sound  common  sense 
was  the  basis  of  her  character,  and  good  principles 
governed  her  actions. 

Mrs.  Lacker  came  up  to  the  counter  just  then, 
and  overhearing  the  last  part  of  Mrs.  Quickly's  re- 
mark, asked,  — 

"  What  were  you  saying,  —  that  you  get  your  own 
things  done  first  ?  " 

"  Yes,  that  is  my  way,"  answered  Mrs.  Quickly. 

"  It  is  n't  mine.  I  look  out  for  all  the  rest  first, 
and  leave  myself  till  the  last." 

Mrs.  Lacker  said  this  with  an  air  of  profound 
self-satisfaction, — with  the  pride  of  humility  that 
finds  exaltation  in  self-abasement ;  or  in  what  it  per- 
suades itself  is  self-abasement.  The  human  heart 
is  so  deceitful  above  all  things,  and  so  desperately 
wicked,  that  its  motives  need  carefully  looking  into 
before  any  course  of  action  is  adopted. 

"  It  is  proper  that  you  should  lo'ok  out  for  your 
equals  first ;  that  is  the  place  of  your  husband  in  the 
family  ;  I  think  he  should  always  be  considered  first ; 
put  do  you  put  your  children  before  yourself?  " 

"  Yes,  I  am  obliged  to  attend  to  them  first,  or  I 
should  have  no  peace  to  do  my  own  things." 

"  Is  n't  it  your  place  to  regulate  your  children  in 
such  a  way  as  always  to  have  peace  to  do  what  is 
needful  ?  Are  you  not  afraid,  by  putting  yourself 
below  your  children  in  those  respects  which  stand 
out  so  prominent  in  a  family,  that  you  will  give  them 


154  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

an  advantage  over  you,  and  such  a  low  estimate  of 
you,  that  they  will  fail  to  pay  you  the  respect  and 
deference  which  is  due  a  parent  from  a  child  ?  It  is 
necessary  to  count  in  all  these  little  things  to  make 
the  sum  come  right  when  it  is  added  up." 

May  your  lesson  be  blessed,  was  the  echo  of  the 
inner.  It  is  the  right  principle  to  advocate  and 
practice  in  rearing  children.  I  have  seen  it  turned 
topsy-turvy  so  many  years,  mixed  up  and  confused 
with  ideas  of  the  excellence  and  superiority  of 
children,  that  I  was  delighted  to  see  one  mother 
travelling  in  the  good  old  track  of  common  sense, 
and  divine  command.  A  few  such  would  be  the  sal- 
vation of  the  rising  generation.  Let  us  entreat  that 
the  number  be  multiplied,  lest  when  inquisition  be 
made  among  its  mothers,  like  righteous  Abraham's 
prayers  to  lessen  the  number  requisite  to  save  the 
whole  from  destruction,  ours  be  unavailing  to  save 
our  children  from  the  consequences  of  our  bad  man- 
agement. 

"  No  ! "  said  Mrs.  Lacker  emphatically :  "  I  have 
no  such  fear.  When  I  was  young  I  could  n't  have 
any  thing  decent.  Mother  must  have  this  and  that, 
—  she  could  n't  afford  me  any  thing  ;  and  I  don't  in- 
tend my  children  shall  be  mortified  in  that  way.  I 
always  had  to  sit  with  my  feet  drawn  up  under  my 
frock  to  hide  my  shabby  boots.  If  I  happened,  by 
some  inexplicable  accident,  to  get  a  pretty  frock,  it 
must  be  set  off  with  some  faded  or  dyed-over  ribbon 
to  spoil  my  comfort  in  it,  and  make  me  miserable. 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  155 

No,  my  children  shall  never  go  through  such  tor- 
tures to  lay  up  against  me  when  they  grow  up." 

The  lady  had  freed  her  mind  undoubtedly ;  she  had 
also  aired  a  pretty  piece  of  family  history  that  ac- 
counted to  her  hearers  for  her  one-sided  views  of 
rearing  children ;  but  she  did  n't  consider  that. 

"  I  hope  if  your  mother  did  err,  as  perhaps  she 
might,  on  the  side  of  strictness  in  dressing  you  in 
your  childhood,  you  have  n't  laid  it  up  against  her. 
That  would  be  in  bad  taste  as  well  as  bad  temper. 
To  retaliate  the  wrong  upon  your  children  by  going 
to  the  other  extreme  would  be  still  worse.  I  did  n't 
have  all  I  wanted  when  I  was  a  child ;  but  I  had 
faith  enough  in  my  parents,  and  still  have,  to  think 
they  got  me  all  they  could,  or  thought  best  for  me  to 
have.  If  they  erred  toward  me  it  was  an  error  of 
judgment,  not  of  love.  I  could  easily  overlook  it.  If 
I  did  n't  I  should  expect  my  children  to  return  me 
the  same  measure.  And  nothing  in  life  could  pain 
me  so  sorely  as  to  have  an  unloving,  thankless  child. 
Indeed  I  could  n't  allow  it  in  my  heart  to  blame  my 
parents,  do  as  they  might,  much  more  take  it  upon 
my  lips,"  said  Mrs.  Quickly  seriously. 

"  I  can  see  that  my  mother  was  to  blame,  and  I 
don't  see  any  harm  in  speaking  of  it."  Mrs.  Lacker 
clung  to  her  own  ideas  tenaciously,  and  saw  fit  to 
express  them,  independently  if  not  discreetly.  But 
it  seemed  strange  to  me  that  she  did  n't  see  and  feel 
the  force  of  Mrs.  Quickly's  remarks.  She  was  a 
mother,  where  was  her  tenderness  ?  how  could  she 


156  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

bear  to  have  a  child  speak  of  her  as  she  had  spoken 
of  her  mother  before  strangers  ? 

"The  harm  in  speaking  so,"  said  Mrs.  Quickly, 
"  is  that  you  dishonor  your  parent  and  disgrace  your- 
self. And  it  seems  to  me  that  good  taste,  if  not 
good  principle,  should  lead  one  to  pass  by  a  parent's 
faults  in  silence."  Mrs.  Quickly  knew  she  was  speak- 
ing to  one  who  had  set  God's  commands  at  naught 
to  follow  modern  revelations  ;  so  she  based  her  reply 
upon  reasons  that  she  thought  might  be  appre- 
ciated. » 

"  It  is  better  to  avoid  extremes  in  all  things,"  she 
went  on ;  "  but  if  either  should  be  more  carefully 
avoided  in  the  case  of  children  than  the  other,  it 
should  be  the  extreme  of  indulgence  that  is  prac- 
ticed nowadays.  Without  knowledge,  without  ex- 
perience, without  judgment,  how  can  they  be  fit  to 
rule  and  direct  themselves  or  others.  "Who  ever  saw 
them  become  any  thing  but  exacting,  arbitrary,  un- 
reasonable masters.  In  the  parents'  old  age,  when 
they  had  been  allowed  the  mastery  in  youth,  I  have 
seen  their  rule  become  intolerable.  Not  only  indif- 
ference and  neglect,  but  absolute  cruelty  practiced." 

"  That  has  happened  where  children  are  strictly 
brought  up." 

"  Yes,  on  the  other  extreme.  If  children  acquire 
a  disrespect  for  parents,  it  is  usually  through  some 
fault  of  the  parents,  I  allow ;  but  how  children  can 
retain  the  feeling  of  resentment  after  they  become 
parents  is  a  mystery  to  me." 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  157 

"  All  have  more  or  less  human  nature  in  them," 
said  Mrs.  Lacker  lightly ;  "  children  bring  it  into  the 
world  with  them.  I  have  no  belief  in  whipping  and 
scolding  it  out  of  them.  Coaxing  answers  a  better 
purpose." 

"  I  know  those  are  very  common  ideas ;  but  for 
all  that,  I  must  cling  to  the  precepts  of  my  Bible, 
rather  than  be  governed  by  precepts  of  man's  wis- 
dom. I  think  wholesome  restraint  is  always  neces- 
sary, and  wholesome  castigation  well  adapted  to 
some  circumstances.  A  wholesome  authority  should 
always  be  maintained  by  parents,  tenderly  but  firmly, 
in  order  to  command  the  respect  of  children." 

"  I  hope  you  don't  believe  all  the  nonsense  in  that 
book  you  mentioned  ? "  said  Mrs.  Lacker  with  a 
sneer. 

"If  you  refer  to  the  Bible,  I  do.  Every  word 
within  its  lids.  There  is  much  of  it  that  I  don't  un- 
derstand. I  must  accept  the  whole  Bible,  or  reject 
the  whole  of  it.  I  should  n't  know  which  part  was 
truth,  and  which  was  falsehood.  Indeed,  I  would  n't 
be  willing  to  take  any  book  of  precepts  which  was 
part  a  lie  and  part  the  truth  to  be  my  rule  of  life, 
and  guide  into  eternity." 

"  And  you  believe  blindly  what  you  don't  under- 
stand ;  that  is  truly  sensible ! " 

"  If  I  don't  understand,  it  is  owing  to  my  lack  of 
apprehension,  no  fault  in  the  Book." 

"  Do  you  believe  that  silly  story  about  Jonah's  go- 
ing into  the  belly  of  a  whale,  and  staying  thr^e  days 
and  three  nights  ?  " 


158  DIARY    OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  It  is  n't  silly  to  me.  God  says  He  uses  simple 
means  to  confound  the  wise  ones  of  this  world. 
What  would  appear  very  trivial  to  one  might  prove 
of  great  consequence  to  another.  A  profound  thinker 
discovered  the  law  of  gravitation  by  noticing  so  sim- 
ple an*  incident  as  the  falling  of  an  apple.  Many 
very  talented  people  would  have  failed  to  notice  so 
small  a  thing.  Perhaps  if  we  were  to  give  as  careful 
study  to  God's  laws,  as  we  do  to  investigations  of  sci- 
ence, we  might  discern  as  wonderful  things  in  them 
as  are  continually  unfolding  themselves  in  science." 

"  How  could  Jonah  breathe  in  the  belly  of  a 
whale  ?  " 

"  By  the  same  miraculous  power  that  made  his 
lungs  and  adapted  them  when  he  was  not  in  the 
whale  to  the  use  of  the  air  and  the  air  to  their  use, 
could  the  Maker  adapt  Jonah  to  the  condition  he 
was  in,  in  the  whale's  belly.  If  I  only  believe  what 
I  understand,  I  shouldn't  believe  my  own  existence. 
I  don't  understand  it." 

During  this  conversation,  a  little  woman  in  short 
skirts  and  trousers,  with  her  hair  stringing  in  rope- 
lets  about  her  face,  had  stood  behind  Mrs.  Lacker 
listening.  She  now  stepped  up,  and  laid  her  hand 
on  that  lady's  shoulder.  A  few  contortions  con- 
vulsed the  muscles  of  her  face,  like  the  twitches  oc- 
casioned by  the  application  of  the  electricity  of  the 
galvanic  battery,  her  eyes  closed,  and  raising  her 
hand  in  oratoric  flourish  she  exclaimed,  — 

"Deny  not  your  faith,  though   temptation   beset 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  159 

you  !  Dare  to  be  a  woman  !  Fight  for  the  right ! 
Be  a  woman  in  the  strife !  Be  a  hero  in  the  strife, 
and  earn  the  reward  promised  to  the  faithful !  Be 
not  an  idler !  be  up  and  doing  while  the  day  lasts, 
for  the  night  cometh  —  the  long  dark  night !  " 

Spirits  it  seemed  were  rampant  in  the  midst,  but 
as  I  like  to  go  to  the  bottom  of  things  instead  of 
gliding  smoothly  on  the  current  of  unknown  mean- 
ings, I  stopped  her  by  telling  her  she  had  got  be- 
yond my  depth.  At  first  she  took  no  notice  of  my 
interruption,  but  I  took  up  the  yard-stick  and  touched 
her  elbow,  just  to  command  attention  and  enforce 
my  right  to  the  floor.  I  told  her  I  would  like  to 
have  her  explain  what  she  had  already  offered  before 
she  went  further.  I  wished  to  understand,  like  Mrs. 
Lacker,  before  I  believed. 

"  In  the  first  place,  what  do  you  mean  by  '  daring 
to  be  a  woman  ? '  Do  you  mean  mentally,  morally, 
or  physically  ?  If  physically,  I  don't  see  as  the 
power  of  choice  is  left  her,  she  being  a  physiological 
fact  when  she  makes  her  debut  on  this  mundane 
sphere. 

"  What  is  it  to  be  a  woman  morally  ?  If  you  mean 
to  possess  courage,  and  to  exercise  it  in  doing  what 
she  considers  right,  various  questions  might  arise 
out  of  that  position,  such  as,  What  would  be  right 
under  all  circumstances?  Would  what  would  be 
right  at  one  time  be  right  at  all  times  ?  and  so  on. 

"  If  you  mean  '  dare  to  be  a  woman '  mentally,  the 
accomplishing  of  that  aim  depends  upon  whether 


160  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

you  can  or  not,  from  the  provisions  Nature  has  made, 
and  art  afforded.  If  Nature  has  endowed  you  with 
ordinary  capacity,  combined  with  a  taste  for  intel- 
lectual employments,  and  industry  to  study,  you  may 
make  quite  an  intellectual  woman  of  yourself  pro- 
vided you  have  the  facilities. 

"  What  is  it  to  '  be  a  hero  in  the  strife '  ?  Do  you 
mean  to  stir  up  strife  ?  or  to  make  confusion  worse 
where  it  is  stirred  up  ?  There  are  already  too  many 
too  well  endowed  with  that  capacity,  without  being 
invited  to  cultivate  it.  It  would  be  far  more  in  ac- 
cordance with  the  proper  ideal  of  woman  to  incite 
peace-making  propensities. 

" '  Fight '  what,  or  for  what  ?  If  you  mean  fight  with 
her  fists,  or  with  her  tongue,  the  ability  to  do  either 
is  a  very  undesirable  accomplishment  for  a  woman. 
If  you  mean  that  she  should  fight  her  own  evil  dis- 
position till  she  brings  it  under  subjection,  so  as  to 
set  good  examples  in  an  upright  life  and  well-or- 
dered conversation,  I  would  say,  may  your  teaching 
be  sped  for  good. 

"  '  Be  up  and  doing ! '  up  where  ?  doing  what  ?  If 
you  mean  up  in  the  morning  doing  with  the  might 
what  the  hands  find  to  do,  I  agree  with  you.  If 
you  mean,  up  in  the  pulpit  holding  forth  precepts 
for  others  to  practice,  that  is  another  thing.  If  you 
mean  up,  setting  up  impious  doctrines  against  the 
Maker  of  all  men,  stirring  up  doubts  in  the  minds 
of  the  ignorant,  or  ambitions  in  the  minds  of  those 
who  will  subvert  good  principles  for  the  honors  of 


DIART  OF  A   MILLINER.  161 

leadership,  I  demur.  Now  before  you  proceed  in 
your  exhortation,  please  make  what  you  have  said 
plain  to  the  discernment  of  wayfaring  people." 

"  There  are  adverse,  trifling  spirits  here,"  she  said, 
"  I  can  do  nothing."  A  few  little  shivers  disturbed 
her  muscles,  and  the  "  influence "  took  summary 
leave  of  us.  Whence  it  came  or  whither  it  went  I 
know  not. 

"  Grieve  not  the  spirits,"  was  the  solemn  admoni- 
tion that  issued  in  deep,  sepulchral  tones  from  the 
depths  of  the  departing  ropelets. 

"  How  very  easy  it  is  for  superstitious  minds  to 
be  overcome  by  that  remarkable  phenomenon  called 
Mesmerism,"  said  Mrs.  Quickly. 

"  Some  people  get  hold  of  one  idea  that  has  truth 
for  its  foundation,  the  spiritual  nature  of  man  par- 
taking of  God's  nature  as  a  spiritual  existence,  and 
then,  unwilling  to  wait  and  study  into  the  mysteries 
of  the  spiritual  element  of  creation,  they  try,  through 
the  phenomenon  we  have  just  witnessed,  to  leap  into 
the  heart  of  eternity,  and  fathom  its  mysteries." 

"  There  is  something  strange  and  mysterious  in 
it." 

"  Yes,  and  so  there  is  in  the  phenomenon  of  sleep. 
Who  can  understand  the  state  of  the  mind,  or  the 
body  either,  when  in  that  unconscious  condition.     It 
is  ignorance,  self-conceit,  and  vaunting  ambition  that ' 
makes  so  much  mischief  out  of  that  peculiar  phe- 
nomenon which  we  just  witnessed.      Now  let  us  go 
back  to  bonnets,  if  this  episode  is  finished." 
11 


162  DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER. 

"  Show  me  a  shade  of  golden  brown  silk.  I  have 
made  up  my  mind  to  have  a  silk  one,  and  I  must 
make  it  answer  all  purposes." 

I  placed  several  shades  of  brown  silk  before  her. 
and  named  their  prices. 

"  I  like  that  shade,"  she  said,  pointing  to  a  rich 
lustrous  silk  ;  "  but  it  will  make  my  bonnet  come  a 
little  higher  than  I  intended  ;  so  I  will  have  it  made 
of  that ;  "  and  she  laid  out  a  piece  of  inferior  quality. 
"I  will  have  buff  trimmings  to  go  with  it,  only  a 
facing  of  blue.  I  must  always  have  a  tinge  of  blue 
to  clear  my  complexion  ;  but  keep  it  out  of  sight  as 
much  as  possible.  Now  show  me  flowers  and  ties 
to  compare  with  the  silk.  I  have  some  lace  that  I 
will  send  in.  Make  me  as  pretty  a  bonnet  as  you 
can  out  of  these  materials.  Put  the  bows  as  low  on 
the  top  as  possible,  because  I  am  tall,  and  I  don't 
wish  to  add  to  my  height,  —  a  little  on  one  side,  to 
make  them  look  easy." 

"  You  shall  have  just  as  pretty  a  bonnet  as  I  can 
make,"  I  said  ;  and  I  mentally  added,  the  time  you 
have  saved  in  giving  your  order  shall  be  bestowed 
upon  your  bonnet. 

"  Now  comes  Jennie  next  in  order,  as  she  is  the 
eldest  daughter.  She  has  decided  to  have  a  little 
jaunty  hat,  and  wear  it  everywhere  for  the  present. 
The  one  she  tried  yesterday ;  you  laid  it  aside  for 
her,  she  said.  Trim  it  up  with  the  ribbon  and  grass 
she  looked  at.  If  you  don't  remember  I'll  tell  you 
her  description." 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  163 

"  I  remember ;  "  little  should  I  forget  the  orders 
of  such  customers. 

"  No  doubt  you  will  suit  her ;  she  described  what 
she  wanted." 

"  If  it  don't  exactly  suit  when  it  is  finished,  she 
can  step  in,  and  we  will  alter  it." 

"Now  comes  Baby  Nell,  and  her  order  is  the 
prettiest  hat  in  town.  Her  father  says,  the  very 
prettiest." 

What  a  volume  that  one  sentence,  "  her  father 
says,"  unfolded.  I  saw  the  proud,  protective  love 
that  swelled  his  heart  toward  that  baby  girl.  The 
little  image  hovering  around  his  day's  work,  to  make 
toil  lighter ;  meeting  his  homeward  steps  to  rob 
them  of  fatigue ;  hovering  around  his  pillow,  to 
make  sleep  sweet  Mysterious  tie  of  blessed  pater- 
nal love  ! 

"  Fit  up  the  little  jockey  I  looked  at  yesterday  in 
just  the  cunningest  manner  in  the  world,  —  with 
puffs  of  illusion  filled  with  those  dainty  moss-rose 
buds.  Make  it  look  like  a  fairy's  crown.  Use  every 
thing  you  need,  whether  I  have  selected  it  or  not 
Her  father  will  allow  no  stint  on  Pet's  hat,  if  he 
works  night  and  day  to  get  the  money  to  pay  for  it." 

"  What  a  blessed  customer  ! "  said  I  to  Gracie. 

"  Yes.  and  many  would  make  a  good  thing  out  of 
such  loose  orders." 

I  took,  but  the  insinuation  angered  me. 

"Whoever  would  take  advantage  of  such  a  cus- 
tomer is  a  disgrace  to  the  calling ! "  I  said  indig- 
nantly. 


164  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  No  doubt  the  calling  is  often  so  disgraced,"  re- 
plied Grace  coolly.  "Those  that  do  it  would  say 
she  has  plenty." 

"  If  she  has  plenty  it  is  n't  mine  but  hers  to  do 
with  as  she  pleases.  And  that  some  do  take  advan- 
tage, whenever  they  can,  is  one  reason  that  customers 
haggle  and  banter  as  they  do,  and  mistrust  us  all.  I 
wish  all  who  trade  in  that  way  had  to  take  the 
trouble  they  make  the  rest  of  us." 

I  strongly  suspect  there  is  blame  on  both  sides  for 
the  haggling  and  bantering  of  customers,  —  for  the 
present  status  of  trade.  The  fault  is  not  all  on  one 
side,  nor  all  from  one  motive.  Avarice  sometimes 
rules ;  but  usually  selfishness  is  figuring  to  secure 
as  much  as  possible  for  as  small  an  amount  of 
money  as  can  be  laid  out.  The  multitude  are  strug- 
gling from  necessity,  to  get  a  living,  and  the  motive 
that  prompts  the  management  to  get  a  good  trade  is 
the  desire  to  obtain  a  decent,  respectable  living 
among  one's  fellows. 

Pride  aggravates  the  trouble  between  buyers  and 
sellers  by  prompting  some  to  adopt  comforts  and 
luxuries  superior  to  their  neighbors. 

Pride  is  the  occasion  of  more  dishonesty  than 
avarice,  and  necessity  is  the  prolific  parent  of  mean- 
ness. 


XVIII. 

JUNE  8, 18—. 

I  SUPPOSE  I  have  lost  a  customer ;  but  in  view 
of  that  shocking  result  of  my  conduct,  I  remain  in 
a  state  of  hardened  indifference  as  to  the  conse- 
quences. 

I  promised  Mrs.  Mann  her  bonnet  at  eight  o'clock 
this  evening.  She  came  in  at  five,  and  said  she  was 
going  to  ride.  She  would  n't  be  home  until  ten,  — 
her  house  would  be  locked  up  while  she  was  gone, 
—  she  would  call  on  her  return,  and  take  it. 

I  replied,  "The  store  will  be  locked  up  before 
ten." 

"  What !  locked  up  before  ten  o'clock !  I  thought 
all  milliners  worked  till  twelve  Saturday  night." 

"  I  am  an  exception  to  that  rule.  I  shut  up  at  the 
usual  hour  Saturday  night." 

She  looked  at  me  with  as  much  astonishment  as 
one  would  look  upon  a  menagerie  of  imported  ani- 
mals, and  then  said,  — 

"  If  you  must  go  home,  one  of  the  girls  can  wait 
till  I  come  back." 

"  No,  ma'am  ;  I  send  my  contrabands  home  to  get 
the  same  rest  that  I  need  myself.  None  of  them 
can  stay  here  two  or  three  hours  after  their  time, 
to  deliver  your  bonnet." 


166  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  Leave  it  here,  and  I  '11  send  down  in  the  morn- 
ing, and  get  it." 

"  No,  ina'am ;  I  don't  work  seven  days  in  the 
week.  If  God's  laws  did  not  forbid  it,  the  laws 
for  preserving  health  do.  Six  days  out  of  seven  are 
enough  for  any  one  to  work." 

"I  don't  think  it  would  be  much  just  to  run  down 
here  in  the  morning,  and  hand  out  a  bonnet." 

"  But  it  would  be  just  enough  to  break  up  my 
morning,  and  bring  week-day  employments  before 
my  mind.  I  wish  to  dismiss  them  entirely  from  my 
thoughts  on  Sunday." 

I  might  have  told  her  that  I  occupied  them  with 
other  things,  so  as  to  get  as  perfect  a  rest  from  busi- 
ness vexations  as  possible,  but  there  is  another  mo- 
tive of  more  consequence  still.  To  have  mentioned 
it  to  her  would  have  been  unnecessary.  Those  who 
love  to  think  of  the  wonderful  things  of  creation,  and 
of  the  soul,  and  learn  about  them,  can  understand 
it.  One  day  out  of  seven  is  little  time  enough  for 
such  comfort. 

"  Other  milliners  work  Saturday  night,  and  send 
bonnels  Sunday  morning.  I  can't  go  to  meeting 
unless  I  have  it." 

That  continual  quoting  of  other  milliners  to  me ! 
I  am  tired  to  death  of  hearing  it.  I  cannot  regulate 
myself  by  other  people's  consciences.  But  that  is  the 
rule  of  the  multitude.  "  Measuring  themselves  by 
themselves  "  throngs  pass  on  through  life  to  Life  ; 
and  The  Standard  for  moral  action  remains  unstud- 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  167 

ied,  un practiced.  Why  is  it?  Introduced  into  life, 
it  is,  and  must  be  evermore  around  them.  After 
this  the  inevitable,  endless  future  !  Still  they  go  on 
through  this  to  that,  huddled  together,  doing  one  as 
the  other,  an  unthinking  mass,  till  they  arrive  at  the 
dark  valley  !  Then  they  go  on  alone  in  their  glory 
or  their  folly,  —  to  what?  God  knows.  Would 
that  the  startling  picture  faced  them,  haunted  them 
in  the  press  and  rush  of  present  travel,  so  that  they 
could  not  avoid  thinking  of  it.  In  the  valley  there  is 
no  retreat  to  make  a  change.  The  sum  of  life  is 
made  up,  and  it  is  made  up  of  such  little  items  as 
buying,  making,  selling,  and  wearing  a  bonnet. 

The  last  argument,  no  doubt,  Mrs.  Mann  thought 
was  irresistible.  She  could  n't  present  herself  in 
God's  house  to  perform  His  worship  unless  she  and 
I  both  violated  His  laws.  The  mockery,  the  sham 
of  worship  could  not  be  performed  before  the  All- 
seeing  Eye  without  the  aid  of  a  new  bonnet !  His 
attention  and  admiration  included  were  to  be  pro- 
pitiated by  a  new  fashion  in  dress !  Poor,  short- 
sighted Deity  !  —  Deity  unable  to  penetrate  farther 
than  the  outside  covering  of  the  head !  —  a  God 
truly  worthy  of  a  fashionable  woman's  worship ! 

If  she  wanted  the  bonnet  for  a  covert  from  justly 
aroused  wrath,  it  were  becoming  to  have  her  head 
covered.  With  flowers  and  ribbons  ?  It  would  n't 
matter.  The  gay  garment  may  become  sackcloth  in 
His  sight  if  the  heart  is  humble.  But,  alas,  is  it 
not  one  part  of  the  pantomime  of  sham  worship  to 


168  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

frizzle  and  bedeck  and  put  on  airs,  —  for  whose  eye  ? 
that  of  one's  fellows.  For  whose  worship  ?  that  of 
the  unique  individual  called  I.  What  is  it  named  ? 
God's  service.  That  the  Father's  heart  is  strong 
with  love  and  pity  for  the  children  worshipers  that 
fall  down  before  him  in  their  shamming,  and  pride, 
and  ambition,  and  worldly  folly,  God  be  praised. 

The  eye  of  the  inner  dual  went  out,  and  looked 
over  the  great  congregation  where  that  woman  wor- 
ships,—  the  largest,  richest,  and  most  fashionable 
one  in  town,  —  so  she  boasts. 

Alas  for  God's  worship !  Every  god,  of  every 
shape  except  the  Unknown  God,  was  set  up  in  every 
separate  heart.  The  idol  self  sat  enthroned  the  god 
of  gods,  bedecked  in  the  frivolity  of  costly  apparel. 
Individual  pride  for  individual  self,  and  banded 
pride  for  the  fashionable  church  ;  and  God  the  Father 
had  withered  to  a  pulpless  husk,  a  wind-inflated 
effigy  of  a  human  imagination  of  greatness. 

Sadly  I  felt,  severely  I  've  no  doubt  I  spoke,  low 
it  must  have  been,  my  throat  was  swollen  and  full.  I 
grew  so  hoarse  I  could  hardly  utter,  but  I  said  it :  — 

"  Other  milliners  cannot  become  my  standard.  I 
can  pin  my  faith  to  no  such  sleeve.  If  other  milli- 
ers  can  go  to  judgment  for  me,  and  render  my  ac- 
count for  obedience  or  disobedience  to  my  Maker's 
law,  —  if  they  can  do  that  I  will  allow  them  to  regu- 
late my  actions.  When  other  milliners  will  take  the 
responsibility  of  securing  to  myself,  and  those  I  have 
charge  of,  an  unbroken  constitution,  and  a  conscience 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  169 

void  of  offense,  they  may  regulate  my  habits  of  labor. 
If  you  will  tell  me  where  I  can  send  your  bonnet  at 
eight  to-night,  I  will  send  it,  and  you  can  get  it  when 
you  please." 

"  You  are  very  precise !  I  don't  think  you  will 
increase  your  trade  much  by  being  so  very  strict ! 
You  can  send  my  bonnet  to  the  store,  No.  8  Ex- 
change Street,  with  the  bill ! "  and  with  a  fiery  red 
face  she  tore  herself  away. 

Gracie  came  round  to  me  and  whispered :  — 

"  She  made  all  that  flourish  to  get  rid  of  the  bill ; 
but  she  thought  you  understood  her,  so  she  did  n't 
carry  it  out."  Naughty  Gracie  !  "  Of  course  you 
could  n't  be  so  wicked  as  to  take  pay  for  a  bonnet 
Sunday  morning  if  you  delivered  it.  If  she  had  come 
in  at  ten  to-night  she  would  have  been  in  such  a 
hurry  she  would  have  forgotten  it,  or  forgotten  her 
purse,  or  had  some  accident  ready  for  the  occasion. 
I  '11  take  the  bonnet  round  when  I  go  to  tea ;  but  I 
sha'n't  leave  it  unless  I  get  the  pay." 

"  You  should  never  give  one  such  a  name  unless 
you  know  it  to  be  true,  Gracie." 

"  I  do  know  it  to  be  true !  I  have  collected  bills 
there  before.  I  had  a  deal  of  trouble  one  time,  in 
getting  a  bill  I  carried  there  to  collect.  The  clerk 
refused  to  pay  it.  I  told  him  it  was  Mrs.  Mann's 
orders  to  have  it  sent  there.  He  said  he  was  n't  em- 
ployed by  Mrs.  Mann,  and  he  had  orders  to  pay  no 
bill  till  Mr.  Mann  saw  it.  If  he  had  told  me  he  had 
orders  to  pay  no  bill  that  could  possibly  be  got  rid 


170  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

of,  he  would  have  told  the  truth.  That  is  the  name 
they  have  all  over  town." 

"  Well,  how  did  you  come  out?  "  I  asked. 

"  I  waited  till  Mr.  Mann  came  in,  just  as  I  was 
directed  to.  He  swore  at  first  he  would  n't  pay  it ; 
but  I  told  him  it  would  be  collected  some  other 
way  if  he  did  n't,  —  his  wife  had  the  goods.  It 
would  have  made  your  ears  tingle  the  way  he  swore 
about  her.  If  you  get  rid  of  her  by  the  way  you 
talked  to  her,  you  will  be  fortunate.  She  has  just 
about  as  much  sense  of  shame  as  he." 

JUNE  10, 18—. 

The  store  has  been  full  of  lookers  since  we  got  in 
our  new  stock  of  goods.  "  We  did  n't  come  to  buy, 
we  only  came  to  look  ;  we  want  to  see  what  you 
have,"  is  the  general  remark.  It  is  shockingly 
tiresome,  this  showing  goods ;  but  one  of  the  neces- 
sary evils  of  trade.  If  some  make  it  an  opportu- 
nity to  gossip,  it  can't  very  well  be  helped.  The 
more  people  that  are  drawn  to  the  store  the  more 
prospect  of  custom.  The  habit  of  coming  is  the 
first  step  to  trading. 

"  Such  an  one  has  so-and-so,  at  such  a  price,"  said 
one  lady  to  another  to-day  ;  "  I  think  you  had  better 
go  there  and  see  their  goods  before  you  buy."  I 
thought,  if  you  were  in  my  place  how  would  you  like 
to  have  me  sit  in  your  store,  and  advise  your  custom- 
ers to  go  somewhere  else  and  buy.  She  did  n't  think. 
Such  thoughtlessness  was  unpardonable. 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  171 

The  lady  advised  saw  the  color  come  and  go  in 
my  face,  as  I  strove  to  control  myself,  and  she  said, 
—  "  No  matter  now.  I  'm  not  going  to  buy  for  a  few 
days." 

The  adviser  had  no  such  aptitude  to  understand 
another's  feelings,  and  she  went  on,  "  Go  there  by  all 
means  before  you  buy." 

The  advised  was  fretted  by  her  want  of  tact,  or 
rather  good  manners,  and  she  said  pointedly,  — 

"  You  don't  intend  to  disparage  the  goods  here  by 
recommending  them  elsewhere ;  but  it  might  be  so 
taken  by  this  lady,  and  she  will  consider  it  hardly 
fair  for  you  to  sit  in  her  store  and  advertise  for  an- 
other at  her  expense." 

"  I  was  only  looking  out  for  you,"  the  other  re- 
plied. 

A  look  was  the  answer.  It  was  a  look  which  said, 
If  you  please,  exercise  a  little  more  good  taste  as 
well  as  good  sense  about  it. 

The  lady  who  sat  in  my  store,  to  advise  people  to 
go  to  other  places  to  buy,  was  a  compound  of  ef- 
frontery and  ignorance,  said  Resentment.  Wink ! 
said  Charity. 


XIX. 

JUNE  15, 18—. 

POOR  little  Annie  Drew  came  in  this  morning. 
She  is  very  pale,  and  thin,  and  worn  out  look- 
ing. We  were  school  -  girls  together.  Then,  she 
was  plump,  rosy,  beautiful  with  health  and  happi- 
ness. 

"What  ails  you,  Annie  ?  was  the  question  of  the 
inner  as  I  looked  at  her.  I  must  know.  Her  hus- 
band lifted  her  from  the  carriage  as  tenderly  as  he 
would  an  infant,  and  set  her  inside  the  door. 
There  can  be  no  trouble  in  that  quarter. 

The. more  I  looked  at  her  the  more  I  wondered. 
Her  muscles  were  consumed.  Her  skin  dry,  lifeless, 
withered.  Her  blood  was  colorless,  exhausted.  Her 
limbs  were  limp  and  without  vigor. 

The  outer  store  was  no  place  in  which  to  talk  with 
her,  and  I  took  her  into  my  own  room. 

Before  her  husband  left  he  came  up  to  her  and 
said,  "  Now,  Annie,  make  yourself  look  as  well  as 
you  can.  If  you  only  looked  as  nice,  and  plump,  and 
fair,  as  your  friend  here,  I  'd  give  half  I  'm  worth. 
Get  a  bonnet  that  will  make  you  look  as  young  and 
fresh  as  you  can." 

I  saw  a  mist  gather  over  Annie's  eyes,  and  a  tear- 
drop form,  but  she  smiled  as  she  answered,  — 


DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER.  173 

"  Yes,  George  ;  I  '11  do  my  best." 

I  was  repelled ;  more,  I  was  angered.  His  com- 
pliment at  his  wife's  expense  was  disgusting.  I  was 
angry  that  he  could  suppose  me  capable  of  enjoying 
or  even  tolerating  it.  I  forgot  that  as  he  is  in  his 
heart  he  judges  me  to  be,  and  addresses  me  accord- 
ingly. Tenderly  as  he  had  taken  care  of  Annie,  he 
had  given  her  a  thrust  that  had  cut  her  to  the  heart. 
I  could  n't  help  thinking,  —  How  could  she  fancy 
him  ? 

We  went  into  my  room  together,  and  sat  down 
side  by  side,  and  put  our  arms  about  each  other  in 
silence  for  a  few  moments.  Then  we  talked  of  old 
times,  as  old  school-mates  will  talk,  till  an  hour  had 
passed  away.  Then,  Annie  said,  — 

"  I  must  be  looking  for  a  bonnet.  George  will  be 
back  soon,  and  I  must  be  ready  for  him.  Make  me 
look  just  as  well  as  possible,  dear ;  I  know  I  am 
all  faded  out,  —  it  is  sickness,  and  the  care  of  chil- 
dren. I  would  be  glad  to  look  young  and  fair  as  I 
used,  but  I  can't.  The  care  of  the  children  wears 
me  out,  and  I  must  take  care  of  them,  and  it  spoils 
my  good  looks." 

"  George  looks  as  though  he  might  bear  some  of 
the  burden,  and  lighten  your  cares." 

"  He  does,  —  he  pities  me." 

On  the  impulse,  I  put  my  arms  around  her  as  we 
stood,  and  drew  her  head  to  my  shoulder,  and  whis- 
pered, —  "  He  loves  you  ?  " 

"He  pities  me,"   she   repeated   in  a  weary  tone, 


174  DIARY   OF  A   MILLINER. 

and  the  hot  tears  rolled  over  her  cheeks.  "How 
can  he  love  me  when  I  have  grown  so  plain  and 
helpless  ?  " 

"  It  is  his  duty ;  you  have  worn  yourself  out  for 
him  and  his,"  I  exclaimed  passionately. 

"  So  far  he  does.  Duty  may  point  the  way ;  but 
love  refuse  to  follow  his  bidding.  We  love  what  is 
desirable  in  our  sight,  —  what  excites  love.  I  can't 
be  to  George  what  I  used,  and  I  can't  expect  him  to 
feel  toward  me  as  he  used.  He  gives  me  all  I  can 
command.  He  don't  know  how  it  hurts  my  feelings 
when  he  compares  me  with  finer-looking  women  to 
my  disadvantage." 

I  was  in  possession  of  the  whole  story.  At  a 
glance  I  saw  to  the  bottom  of  her  unhappiness. 
Her  beauty  had  been  consumed  with  passion,  and  the 
man's  eyes  were  unsatisfied,  and  had  wandered  off 
in  the  love  of  change.  Annie,  in  the  consciousness 
of  her  waning  beauty,  had  meekly  borne  it,  and 
pined. 

I  thought  I  saw  a  remedy  for  a  part  of  the  trou- 
ble, at  least.  He  might  be  broken  of  putting  the 
change  in  her  looks  so  constantly  before  her,  and  in 
consequence  making  her  so  unhappy.  All  the  time 
she  was  selecting  her  bonnet  the  inner  was  at  work 
upon  the  idea. 

When  she  left  I  said,  — 

"  I  am  going  up  to  spend  a  Sabbath  with  you  in  a 
week  or  two." 

"  George  will  come  down  for  you  Saturday  night." 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  175 

"Yes,  that  I  will,  Annie.  Her  cheerful  face  in 
the  house  will  well  repay  the  trouble.  Let  it  be 
next  Sabbath." 

"  Perhaps  so."   - 

I  felt  the  pang  that  smote  on  Annie's  heart  at  the 
implied  censure  for  her  weary  looks.  I  felt  the 
pang;  but  no  thrill  of  pleasure  at  the  compliment. 
I  almost  hate  Annie's  husband.  He  does  n't  mean 
it,  Annie  says  ;  he  don't  know  how  it  hurts  If  he 
could  only  be  hurt  in  the  same  way  just  enough  to 
appreciate  the  pain  he  is  so  ingenious  in  thought- 
lessly contriving  for  her !  It  is  not  thoughtless- 
ness ;  he  is  purposely  urging  her  up  to  improve  her 
looks,  —  to  perform  an  impossibility. 

"  As  ye  would  that  others  should  do  unto  you,"  is 
a  good  precept ;  but  sometimes  there  is  more  worldly 
wisdom  in  doing  unto  others  as  they  do  unto  you. 
The  love  that  holds  the  rod  is  just  as  true  love  as 
that  which  smooths  the  path.  Ah  truer !  It  en- 
dures the  pain  of  inflicting  pain,  the  severest  pain 
that  love  can  endure  for  the  good  of  the  loved. 

It  is  said  to  be  with  woman  as  with  the  canine 
species  :  the  more  the  rod  is  used  upon  her,  the  more 
closely  she  will  cling  to  him  who  wields  it.  There  is 
certainly  fear  engendered  toward  a  tormentor,  where 
he  has  the  authority  to  control,  and  the  power  to  in- 
flict suffering  ;  but  if  the  infliction  of  torture  gener- 
ates love,  unless  the  chastisement  administered  be 
deserved  on  account  of  offense  committed,  why  it 
is  so,  is  among  the  mysteries  of  human  nature. 


176  DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER. 

Perhaps  the  individual  instances  which  have  gone 
to  make  up  the  popular  proverb,  if  traced  to  their 
source,  might  prove  surreptitious  facts.  If  the  hus- 
band held  the  rod  in  public,  Mrs.  Caudle  may  have 
wielded  the  darning-needle,  or  the  broom-handle 
when  there  was  no  eye  to  see,  and  no  tongue  to  re- 
port it.  Being  really  even,  there  need  be  no  dim- 
inution of  love. 

May  be  it  is  the  nature  of  human  love  to  bear  the 
lash  and  love  on.  May  be  it  is  in  the  same  human 
nature  to  use  the  lash  and  love  on.  A  consciousness 
of  deserving  chastisement  is  a  wonderful  stimulant  to 
endurance,  as  the  consciousness  of  receiving  wrong 
is  to  resentment.  But  that  the  sting,  from  the  un- 
deserved application  of  the  lash,  should  excite  or 
stimulate  love,  may  be  reckoned  among  the  mysteri- 
ous developments  of  human  nature,  yet  unfathomed  ; 
or  rather  to  domestic  mysteries,  unseen  by  common 
acquaintances. 

That  one  half  the  married  people  remain  together 
from  other  motives  than  the  desire  to  do  so,  is  no 
"  guess."  Sometimes  one  motive  operates  to  keep 
the  hymenial  knot  tied  through  life,  and  sometimes 
another ;  but  how  often  is  it  love  after  a  few  years 
of  felicity  have  passed  over  the  heads  of  the  happy 
pair  ?  Every  one  has  the  liberty  to  answer  for  him 
or  herself. 


XX. 

JUNE  20, 18—. 

MRS.  NED  JONES  came  in  to-day  to  make  a  call, 
and  her  husband  with  her. 

Ned  rudely  began  to  make  his  comments,  as  his 
wife  looked  at  goods  and  asked  prices. 

He  went  on  accusing  milliners  with  making  enor- 
mous profits.  Ned  keeps  a  store  himself,  and  ought 
to  know  better.  People  that  live  in  glass  houses 
ought  to  be  careful  how  they  throw  stones.  I  let  him 
finish  his  tirade  against  our  offending  craft,  and  then 
I  turned  upon  him,  — 

"  Is  it  because  milliners  are  worse  than  other  trades- 
people that  I  hear  so  much  about  their  derelictions  ? 
If  I  had  opened  a  confectionery  store  would  n't  I 
have  been  made  just  as  familiar  with  the  sins  of  con- 
fectioners, by  my  customers,  as  I  now  am  with  those 
of  milliners  ?  Verily  I  may  in  the  exercise  of  all 
charity  so  judge  human  duality.  The  cause  of  such 
a  state  of  things  is  very  evident  to  observers,  if  not 
to  those  interested  in  berating  milliners." 

O 

A  person  wishing  to  buy  an  article  depreciates  the 

first  cost  of  it  in  order  to  lessen  the  amount  of  profit 

to  the  seller,  and  get  it  at  a  low  rate  for  himself. 

Ned  never  supposed,  when  he  was  telling  me  that 

12 


178  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

my  goods  did  n't  cost  me  half  I  asked  for  them, 
that  he  was  putting  his  motive  for  so  doing  before 
me,  and  also  his  own  habits  of  trading.  He  thought 
he  was  showing  me  up.  I  thought  he  was  showing 
himself  up.  Who  was  he  showing  up  ?  Evil-minded 
people,  that  are  determined  to  make  evil  meaning 
on  all  sides,  would  say,  both  were  shown  up. 

I  said  to  Ned,  in  a  caustic  way,  —  no  doubt  I  in- 
tended to  be  sharp,  and  cut  him  up  as  much  as  he 
had  me  ;  was  that  retaliation  ?  very  likely ;  I  am 
only  a  poor  erring  human  dual  like  my  fellows,  — 
"  It  is  very  easy  to  tell  what  your  profits  have  been. 
Look  at  the  fine  house  you  have  built  up  town,  and 
the  handsome  furniture  in  it,  and  there  need  be  no 
questions  asked  as  to  your  profits  !  It  is  no  myth  that 
you  have  made  profits,  and  it  is  no  mystery  where 
you  have  bestowed  them.  If  you  don't  wish  to  have 
such  examples  followed,  you  ought  not  to  set  them. 
Others  do  as  we  do,  not  as  we  say.  Such  is  the, 
force  of  example,  and  the  weakness  of  precept." 

"  You  must  remember  that  our  house  is  the  prof- 
its of  twenty  years'  business.  Ned  has  been  in  busi- 
ness twenty  years,"  said  his  wife  eagerly. 

"  Well,  Mrs.  Jones,  if  I  can  live  as  you  live,  and 
have  lived  for  twenty  years,  I  will  be  satisfied  with 
my  profits." 

"  Do  you  notice  that  lady  with  Mrs.  Jones  ?  "  asked 
Gracie ;  "  we  call  her  the  old  fashion-plate.  Don't 
she  look  like  one  ?  It  is  Mrs.  Van  Cormet  She  has 
been  very  stylish,  and  led  the  fashions  here  for  a 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  179 

great  many  years  ;  but  her  day  is  over,  and  she  don't 
know  it.  She  holds  on  to  her  past  honors,  and 
makes  herself  a  butt  for  the  younger  ladies. 

JUNE  26, 18 — . 

Mrs.  Aikin  came  in  with  Mrs.  Perry  to-day,  when 
she  came  to  order  her  bonnet.  After  they  had 
"  looked  "  awhile  in  Mrs.  Perry's  behalf,  she  turned 
to  Mrs.  Aikin,  and  asked,  — 

"  What  are  you  going  to  have  ?  " 

"  I  went  out  of  town  for  mine.  Styles  are  so  all 
alike  here,  I  wanted  something  different." 

After  she  went  out,  Gracie  said  to  me,  "  Did  you 
see  what  airs  Mrs.  Aikin  put  on,  when  she  talked 
about  going  out  of  town  for  her  bonnet  ?  The  truth 
is,  they  are  real  poor  if  her  husband  is  a  professional 
man.  It  is  just  as  much  as  they  can  do  to  keep  up 
appearances,  and  all  her  airs  are  shams.  She  is 
obliged  to  economize  just  as  closely  as  possible,  and 
she  is  ashamed  to  do  it  here ;  she  is  afraid  all  her  ac- 
quaintances will  find  it  out,  and  laugh  about  her  ;  so 
she  goes  out  of  town  to  get  her  things,  where  she 
thinks  she  is  n't  known.  But  the  expedient  is  very 
much  of  a  muchness.  They  all  know  it,  and  laugh 
to  think  she  is  so  foolish." 


XXI. 

JUNE  27,  18—. 

You  were  not  at  Sabbath-school  yesterday  morn- 
ing ;  were  you  ill,  Gracie  ?  "  I  asked  of  her  this 
forenoon. 

"  No  ma'am,"  she  answered  with  a  scarlet  face. 

I  saw  that  something  was  wrong,  and  I  asked 
again,— 

"  "Was  your  mother  or  sister  ill  ?  " 

"  No  'rn."  She  saw  that  I  was  bent  on  knowing 
why  she  was  absent,  and  she  went  on :  "I  know 
you  'II  think  I  did  wrong  ;  I  trimmed  a  bonnet  in  the 
morning." 

"  Was. it  a  mourning  bonnet  for  a  funeral  ?  If  so, 
I  should  think  it  no  wrong." 

"  It  was  n't.     It  was  a  bonnet  foe  a  neighbor." 

O 

"  Then  why  did  you  do  it  ?  " 

"  Because  she  came  in,  and  begged  me  to.  She 
said  it  was  an  old  bonnet,  and  not  worth  carrying  to 
the  shop  ;  but  she  wanted  me  to  do  it.  — she  thought 
I  could  make  is  look  as  nice  as  though  it  came  here." 

"  So  she  flattered  you  into  breaking  the  Sabbath, 
little  Gyp?" 

"  Not  entirely  ;  she  said,  she  hated  to  have  me  do 
it  Sunday,  and  she  hated  to  have  me  stay  at  home 


DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER.  181 

from  Sunday-school,  but  she  could  n't  go  to  meeting 
without  it,  and  there  was  some  one  going  to  preach 
that  she  wanted  to  hear  very  much.  She  had  been 
very  kind  to  mother,  -especially  when  she  was  sick 
last  summer,  and  so  I  did  it." 

Perhaps  the  good  woman  got  more  benefit  from 
that  sermon  than  Gracie  would  have  acquired  at  the 
Sabbath-school.  Perhaps  that  one  job  of  work  did 
more  to  establish  ideas  of  practical  religion  in  Gra- 
cie's  mind  than  a  row  of  Sabbath-schools  reaching 
across  the  Atlantic  could  have  done.  She  is  an 
apt  scholar,  like  most  girls  in  their  teens. 

"  Did  she  pay  you  for  doing  it  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Certainly.  She  belongs  to  the  church,  and  she 
said  she  did  n't  approve  of  working  Sunday." 

"  Thou,  nor  thy  maidservant,"  suggested  the 
inner.  It  is  astonishing  how  inclination  will  mod- 
ify devotion.  In  the  same  ratio  will  interest  modify 
principle.  The  command  does  not  extend  to  thy 
neighbor's  maid-servant ;  therefore,  the  good  woman 
might  not  consider  herself  responsible  for  keeping 
Gracie  at  work. 

She  was  a  frequenter  of  the  sanctuary,  and  an  ob- 
server of  the  Sabbath ;  but,  given  to  literal  construc- 
tions of  the  teachings  she  heard.  She  did  n't  under- 
stand that  she  had  any  thing  to  do  with  keeping  her 
neighbors'  servants  out  of  mischief,  or  any  respon- 
sibility if  she  helped  them  into  it  Perhaps  not 

"  Did  she  pay  you  as  much  as  it  would  have  cost 
her  if  she  had  brought  it  here  ?  " 


182  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  Not  quite,"  said  Grade  with  another  blush.  "  I 
know  just  how  mean  I  was,  and  I  tried  to  get  her  to 
bring  it  here.  I  told  her  I  had  no  right  to  use  the 
knowledge  I  got  here  for  my  own  benefit,  out  of  the 
shop ;  that  all  I  could  do  in  the  way  of  millinery  be- 
longed to  you ;  but  she  had  been  so  kind  to  mother 
I  couldn't  help  obliging  her.  The  bonnet  was  a 
shocking  old  thing,  and  well  deserves  its  time,  if 
long  service  can  buy  it.  It  has  served  as  long  as 
Jacob  did  for  Rachel,  and  will  probably  have  the 
honor  of  doubling  its  time  as  he  did,  if  it  will  hold 
together." 

JUNE  28, 18—. 

How  can  one  be  expected  to  be  very  amiable  after 
having  dissipated  all  night  at  a  musquito  concert  ? 
Such  is  my  case.  I  am  not  naturalist  enough  to 
bear  their  songs  for  the  sake  of  science ;  so  I  made 
an  onslaught  Not  with  the  care  of  a  taxidermist 
seeking  to  preserve  their  frames  for  mounting ;  but 
I  mercilessly  crushed  the  little  things  to  death,  with- 
out the  slightest  compunction  at  destroying  so  much 
musical  talent.  It  was  without  effect.  I  could  not 
disperse  them.  As  fast  as  I  slaughtered,  multitudes 
of  first  cousins  refilled  the  orchestra  and  piped  out 
requiems  over  the  untimely  graves  of  the  fallen. 
The  unseasonable  serenade  made  a  very  bad  impres- 
sion upon  my  nerves. 

Right  upon  this  state  of  mind  pounced  an  out-of- 
town  customer.  She  ought  to  have  exercised  more 
discretion  than  to  have  come  in  contact  with  my 


DIARY  OF  A   MILLINER.  183 

nervous  excitability,  after  so  trying  a  night ;  but  the 
selfish  thing  went  on  in  her  own  way,  without  paying 
the  slightest  heed  to  my  condition.  She  commenced : 

"  I  have  brought  you  a  bonnet  to  be  done  over, 
but  I  don't  want  it  done  like  the  one  you  did  for 
Mrs.  Powers  ;  I  stopped  there  as  I  came  along,  and 
she  showed  it  to  me.  It  looked  dreadfully.  It 
was  n't  fit  to  wear ; "  and  so  she  went  on  for  about 
five  minutes. 

Had  those  musquitoes  undergone  transmigration  ? 
had  they  run  violently  into  this  woman's  tongue,  in 
order  to  punish  my  blood-thirsty  disposition  ?  They 
were  easier  to  deal  with  in  their  original  state.  I 
could  n't  slap  this  woman  between  my  palms,  and 
crush  her  out  of  the  way.  I  might  spring  my 
tongue  upon  her,  as  she  had  done  hers  upon  me, 
and  I  did. 

"  Do  you  take  in  fault-finding  to  do  for  your  neigh- 
bors ?  "  I  asked.  "  If  you  do,  I  would  like  to  ask 
your  rates.  We  have  a  great  deal  on  hand  that 
ought  to  be  done  ;  if  you  work  for  reasonable  wages 
I  will  furnish  you  a  job.  You  seem  to  be  mistress 
of  your  business." 

She  was  taken  all  aback ;  and  her  husband,  who 
stood  at  her  elbow,  began  to  chuckle.  I  went  on  :  — 

"  We  don't  get  time  to  attend  to  it,  and  we  don't 
think  much  of  its  efficacy  in  ordinary  cases  ;  but 
there  are  times  when,  judiciously  applied,  it  has 
worked  wonders.  From  the  way  you  accomplished 
yours  I  thought  it  might  be  agreeable  employment ; 


184  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

I  thought  you  might  not  have  enough  of  your  own  to 
attend  to,  by  your  performing  it  for  your  neighbors. 
There  is  no  harm  in  asking,  I  hope  ?  " 

With  an  almost  uproarious  laugh,  her  husband 
said  to  her,  — 

"  There,  Sarah,  you  've  got  just  what  you  deserved. 
Now  tell  her  what  you  want.  You  know  I  'm  in  a 
hurry." 

With  a  crest-fallen,  humble  look,  she  turned   to 
me,  and  said,  — 
"  I  did  n't  intend  to  find  fault." 

"  I  have  no  idea  that  you  formed  such  a  purpose 
definitely  in  your  mind,  and  executed  it  for  that  end  ; 
but  if  you  look  it  over  you  will  see  that  is  just  what 
you  did.  If  I  don't  do  work  to  suit  you,  your  rem- 
edy is  to  take  it  to  some  one  that  will.  If  I  do  it, 
and  it  don't  suit  you,  I  am  willing  to  be  told  when  I 
fail ;  but  it  is  hardly  necessary  to  lecture  me  in  ad- 
vance, or  on  other  people's  account." 

"  She  's  told  you  the  truth,  Sarah,  and  I  hope 
you  '11  remember  it ;  "  said  her  husband,  still  laugh- 
ing heartily.  "  Come,  be  expeditious." 

I  don't  suppose  her  husband  was  any  more  rea- 
sonable than  other  men,  but  he  was  a  store-keeper, 
and  understood  the  merits  of  the  case. 

It  need  not  be  inferred  from  this,  that,  under 
all  circumstances,  in  sickness  and  in  health,  men, 
as  a  class,  are  any  more  reasonable  than  women  ; 
but  it  is  usually  easier  to  trade  with  them,  because 
they  know  in  a  very  short  time  if  they  will  take  a 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  185 

thing ;  or  if  they  will  leave  it,  which  manner  of 
dealing  saves  time. 

That  woman  had  the  root  of  the  matter  in  her. 
She  turned  to  me  with  a  pleasant  smile,  and  said,  — 

"  I  really  did  n't  intend  to  find  fault.  Perhaps 
yon  won't  be  willing  to  do  my  bonnet  ?  " 

"  Certainly  ;  I  will  do  your  bonnet,  and  make  it 
look  as  well  as  I  can ;  but  I  can't  make  an  old  bon- 
net look  as  well  as,  or  better  than,  a  new  one.  Some- 
times bonnets  come  from  the  bleach  looking  very 
nicely,  and  sometimes  they  are  scarcely  improved  at 
all.  Sometimes  when  they  look  badly  it  is  the  fault 
of  the  straw,  and  sometimes  of  the  owner.  If  they 
are  worn  a  long  time,  they  get  so  badly  sunburnt  it 
is  impossible  to  make  them  white.  I  think  my 
bleacher  does  his  best  to  make  them  look  well." 

She  selected  her  trimmings,  with  her  husband's 
help,  and  gave  the  rest  of  her  order  very  expedi- 
tiously. 


XXII. 

JUNE  29, 18—. 

THIS  morning  I  was  summoned  into  the  front  shop 
to  see  a  lady  on  very  urgent  business.  She  was  in 
such  haste  she  could  n't  wait  a  moment. 

I  dropped  the  work  that  was  driving  me  like  dust 
before  the  wind,  and  rushed  in  hot  haste  to  receive 
her  commands.  When  I  entered,  I  saw  rather  a  fine 
looking  woman,  on  the  other  side  of  the  store,  delib- 
erately selecting  and  cheapening  some  goods, 

I  stood  fifteen  or  twenty  minutes  waiting  for  her 
to  come  and  unfold  the  cause  of  her  marvelous  haste, 
which  seemed  to  evanesce  with  my  appearance. 

When  she  had  finished  up  on  the  other  side,  she 
walked  slowly  over  to  where  I  stood,  counting  her 
change  as  she  came.  When  that  preliminary  was 
accomplished,  her  purse  was  safely  deposited  in  her 
pocket.  Then  she  asked,  —  « 

"  Have  you  any  mourning  bonnets  ?  " 

"  I  have  some  frames  covered,"  I  replied,  "  which 
can  be  finished  in  a  short  time." 

"  Would  you  be  kind  enough  to  lend  me  one  ?  My 
husband  died  Saturday,"  —  this  was  Monday  morn- 
ing, —  "  and  is  to  be  buried  to-morrow.  I  have  got 
to  buy  one,  but  I  want  time  to  look  round,  so  as  to 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  187 

buy  to  the  best  advantage ;  so  I  thought  I  'd  borrow 
one  for  the  funeral," 

Spirit  of  economy !  Spirit  of  the  departed  hus- 
band, whose  lifeless  clay  still  lay  in  her  home,  ex- 
plain to  me,  if  you  can,  what  kind  of  humanity  is 
that  woman  made  up  of!  No  doubt  the  ghostly  part- 
ner of  her  former  connubial  joys  could  tell  with 
mathematical  certainty,  if  his  tongue  were  only  per- 
mitted to  exercise  its  former  elasticity.  It  is  unne- 
cessary, she  explains  herself. 

If  an  ice-house  had  been  discharged  at  me,  I 
wouldn't  have  been  more  coolly  prostrated  by  the 
blow.  I  stared  at  her  in  my  astonishment,  and 
echoed  in  my  wonder,  — 

"  Lend  you  a  bonnet !  " 

She  did  n't  seem  to  perceive  that  she  was  doing 
any  thing  out  of  the  common  way.  She  did  n't  per- 
ceive my  surprise,  but  went  on  to  state  inducements 
for  me  to  confer  so  unusual  a  favor  upon  her  widow- 
hood :  — 

"  I  intend  to  buy  a  bonnet,  and  shall  probably 
come  here ;  but  I  want  to  take  tune  to  look  round, 
and  see  where  I  can  do  best." 

Explain  such  a  phenomenon,  ye  who  can  !  It  is 
past  my  comprehension  !  Her  husband  died  scarce 
two  days  before  ;  and  with  due,  or  undue  regard  to 
the  temporal  interests  of  the  little  pledges  which  he 
had  left  orphaned  upon  her  hands,  she  had  left  his 
lifeless  remains  in  the  kindly  care  of  some  neigh- 
bors, and  gone  out  shopping. 


188  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

If  she  had  locked  up  the  lucre  for  which  he  had 
toiled,  in  caution  lest  it  take  its  flight  and  follow 
him  to  pave  his  part  of  eternity's  golden  streets,  or 
mount  the  pearls  of  its  immortal  gates,  as  he  had 
always  kept  the  keys  on  earth,  where  would  have 
been  the  wonder  ?  But  that  was  by  no  means  the 
case.  Her  care  was,  that  no  more  of  it  than  she 
could  not  possibly  prevent  should  pass  into  the 
hands  of  contemporary  sinners. 

Was  it  the  strong  mother-love  about  which  so 
much  poetry  is  made,  that  sent  her  out  to  save  a 
few  pennies  in  her  purchases  ?  Was  it  the  stronger 
love  of  lucre  that  burnt  at  the  ends  of  her  itching 
fingers,  and  destroyed  the  tenderness  which  would 
have  drawn  most  hearts,  in  the  last,  clinging  love  to 
perform  the  last  sad  office  to  their  dead,  while  their 
shopping  was  intrusted  to  other  hands  ? 

That  the  love  of  money  may  so  benumb  the  sen- 
sibilities, that  woman  is  proof. 

Right  upon  the  steps  of  the  new-made,  worldly- 
minded  widow,  came  little  Mrs.  Fluttery.  This  is 
the  seventh  time  she  has  made  it  in  her  way  to  come 
in,  and  talk  over  her  bonnet.  Six  times  before  this 
has  the  exquisite  little  thing  gone  through  the  pre- 
liminaries to  the  advent  of  a  new  bonnet.  So  says 
Gracie,  who  has  tied  knots  in  a  string  to  keep  the 
tally  of  her  visits. 

She  comes  flying  in  each  time,  and  repeats  her 
role.  Whether  it  has  been  written  out,  and  commit- 
ted to  memory,  I  cannot  tell ;  but  it  is  stereotyped 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  189 

in  form,  and  repeated  as  punctiliously  as  the  Liturgy 
in  church.  If  it  is  an  extempore  performance,  her 
thoughts  always  run  in  the  same  channel.  If  Nature 
furnished  her  with  but  one  set  of  ideas,  she  furnished 
her  with  but  one  form  to  express  them  in,  and  it  is 
after  this  fashion  :  — 

"  I  know  you  are  tired  to  death  of  me,  but  I  can't 
help  it.  I  don't  know  what  I  want,  and  you  must 
tell  me  :  and  if  you  tell  me  I  sha'n't  know  any  better 
than  I  did  before. 

"  Blue  is  the  prettiest  color  in  the  world  for  me, 
but  I've  worn  it  forever  and  forever,  and  I  want  a 
change.  Charley  hates  green,  —  I  can't  have  that, 
and  buff  is  worn  by  every  servant-girl  on  the  streets 
now.  Brown  is  too  old  for  me,  and  black  makes  me 
think  of  a  pall.  White  reminds  me  of  a  winding- 
sheet,  and  sets  me  shivering.  Lavender  and  purple 
are  beautiful  colors,  but  they  don't  suit  my  complex- 
ion." 

"  Plaids,"  I  suggested. 

"  They  remind  me  of  factory  girls  and  ginghams. 
No  !  I  can't  bear  plaids  ! " 

"  A  dark,  rich  pink  is  considered  pretty  now." 

"  Pink !  "  she  echoed  with  a  gesture  of  terror. 
"  Pink,  and  Magenta,  and  Solferino,  and  scarlet,  — 
the  whole  class  of  reds  are  an  abomination  to  the 
rainbow.  The  very  thought  of  them  sets  me 
ablaze  !  I  should  look  like  a  full  moon  set  out  with 
a  signal  of  distress.  Can't  you  think  of  something 
else?" 


190  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  I  will  take  your  case  into  consideration.  If  it  is 
possible  to  invent  another  pirmordial  you  shall  have 
the  benefit  of  the  color.  But  I  continue  very  much 
of  my  formerly  expressed  opinion,  that  you  will  be 
obliged  to  take  some  combination,  —  brown  and 
white  with  a  bit  of  blue,  or  drab  and  blue,  or  drab 
and  buff,  or  something  of  the  sort.  I'll  think  it 
over." 

And  her  case  went  into  consideration,  —  the  state 
in  which  it  has  rejoiced  so  far  into  the  season,  and 
where  it  seems  fated  to  remain  for  an  indefinite 
period. 


XXIII. 

JULY  3, 18—. 

I  SPENT  the  day  at  Annie  Drew's  yesterday. 
George  followed  us  up  so  closely  I  thought  I  never 
should  get  a  chance  to  give  Annie  the  advantage  of 
my  experience  in  life.  He  was  very  anxious  to 
show  me,  and  receive  praise  for,  all  the  comforts 
with  which  he  had  surrounded  her.  He  had  pro- 
vided every  thing  heart  could  wish,  and  of  course  I 
could  n't  retain  the  meed  due. 

In  the  midst  of  it  all  he  made  her  miserable  by 
continually  praising  other  ladies  who  were  exactly 
her  opposite  in  looks  and  manners.  It  sounded  like 
a  reproach  to  her.  Annie  is  not  of  a  mean,  envious 
disposition,  and  if  it  were  not  implied  in  the  praise 
of  others  that  she  did  n't  do  her  part  as  he  does  his, 
she  would  have  rejoiced  in  it  rather  than  have  been 
pained  by  it.  It  was  her  implied  deficiency  that 
humbled  her,  and  made  her  unhappy,  and  disheart- 
ened her. 

After  dinner  came  the  inevitable  smoke  and  nap. 
For  once  I  blessed  the  invention  of  cigars  ! 

When  he  had  got  well  under  way,  and  no  inter- 
ruption threatened,  I  drew  up  close  to  Annie,  put 
my  arm  around  her,  took  her  hand  in  mine,  just  as 


192  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

we  used  to  sit  when  we  were  school-girls.  I  wound 
my  will  around  hers  with  all  my  might,  to  bring  her 
to  my  purpose.  I  understood  that  her  tenderness 
for  George  would  interfere  with  my  plan  ;  then  I 
said  to  her,  — 

"  Now,  Annie,  you  have  every  desire  of  your  heart 
gratified,  and  one  of  the  best  husbands  in  the  world  ;  " 
(It  is  excellent  policy,  if  you  wish  to  bring  a  person 
over  to  a  disagreeable  view  of  a  thing,  to  pave  the 
way  with  praise  on  some  other  point.  Let  one  see 
that  you  appreciate  the  good  qualities  of  an  object, 
and  then,  if  you  censure  the  faults  you  will  be  lis- 
tened to  on  account  of  your  candor.  No  one  likes 
one-sided,  uncharitable  judgments  passed  upon  them- 
selves, or  their  friends,)  "  but  I  can't  help  seeing 
that  you  have  a  heart-ache,  and  feeling  it  too.  And 
I  would  n't  touch  it  if  I  did  n't  think  I  could  help  it. 
George  does  not  think  you  inferior  to  the  women  he 
praises.  That  is  n't  what  he  has  in  his  mind.  His 
motive  is  to  stimulate  you  to  make  the  most  of  your- 
self, and  he  don't  understand  that  he  is  dishearten- 
ing you,  making  you  more  feeble,  and  unable  to  be- 
come like  what  he  praises." 

She  burst  into  tears. 

•'  I  know  it  makes  you  feel  badly,  but  tears  are  no 
remedy  for  the  evil.  The  truth  is,  and  he  thinks  it, 
that  you  are  really  superior  to  the  ladies  that  he 
praises.  You  belong  to  him,  and  he  wants  you  to 
reflect  so  much  honor  upon  him,  that  if  you  were  an 
angel  he  would  want  you  to  appear  an  archangel. 


DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER.  193 

It  is  wrong,  and  very  thoughtless  for  him  to  talk  as 
he  does,  and  I  think  you  can  cure  him  of  it  if  you 
will." 

"  If  I  could  only  become  what  he  wishes  me  to 
be,  and  admires  so  much ! " 

"  Nonsense  !  Make  him  admire  you  for  what  you 
are.  Try  to  be  nothing  but  a  good,  loving  wife  and 
mother,  as  you  are,  and  stop  fretting  because  you  are 
not  something  else.  You  are  not  perfect.  If  you 
were  you  would  be  no  fit  associate  for  that  excellent 
husband  of  yours.  He  has  one  fault  that  is  evident 
to  all  that  see  him." 

She  was  touched.  She  could  n't  bear  that  I  should 
see  a  fault  in  her  faultless,  and  place  it  before  her. 
Her  eyes  began  to  open.  I  was  drawing  her  to  my 
views.  "  That  fault  you  can  correct  if  you  will." 

"  How  can  I  correct  him  ? "  she  asked.  The 
idea  was  almost  sacrilege.  It  was  destroying  her 
household  gods. 

"  Every  time  he  praises  another  woman,  instead 
of  letting  it  cut  you,  like  the  drawing  of  a  sharp 
knife,  turn  it  over,  and  take  the  blunted  edge. 
Agree  with  him,  but  draw  no  inferences  with  regard 
to  yourself.  Praise  her,  and  her  husband  too,  if  she 
has  one.  If  she  has  n't,  praise  some  other  fine-look- 
ing man.  Praise  every  gentleman  where  there  is 
any  possible  opportunity,  in  season  and  out  of  season, 
as  he  does  ladies.  Do  it  gently  and  quietly,  so  that 
it  may  not  seem  forced." 
13 


194  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

"  I  'm  afraid  it  will  hurt  his  feelings,"  she  said 
slowly,  but  I  saw  that  the  idea  took. 

"  Just  as  it  does  yours,  perhaps  it  will ;  but  if  it 
break  up  his  habit  of  doing  the  same  thing,  it  will 
make  him  appear  much  better  in  the  eyes  of  his 
acquaintance." 

That  argument  had  the  desired  effect.  Her  face 
brightened. 

"  There  can  be  no  harm  in  trying  it.  I  really  do 
my  best  to  please  him,  and  there  is  no  one  but  can 
be  found  fault  with  if  we  allow  ourselves  in  the 
habit  of  carping." 

"  Don't  forget  it,  or  fear  to  try  your  experiment." 

At  tea  I  saw  my  plan  begin  to  work.  Two  gen- 
tlemen of  their  acquaintance  came  in  for  as  large  a 
share  of  her  admiration  as  other  ladies  did  for  his. 
But  I  noticed  it  had  a  different  operation  upon  him 
from  what  it  had  upon  her.  He  seemed  a  little  dis- 
posed to  resent  it,  as  some  wrong  done  to  himself,  and 
undertook  some  pretty  smart  strictures  upon  the  par- 
ties wherein  his  wife  had  discovered  so  much  merit. 

Annie  was  really  bright  and  cheerful,  like  her  old 
self.  If  any  mischief  comes  of  it  I  shall  tell  the 
whole  story,  and  take  the  blame.  Otherwise  he  need 
be  no  wiser  for  my  plotting. 

But  it  strikes  me  a  little  oddly  that  George  should 
be  fretted  because  Annie  praised  other  gentlemen. 
How  came  he  to  be  possessed  of  such  a  feminine 
trait?  His  mother  must  have  been  a  woman,  and 
he  must  have  inherited  a  part  of  her  character. 


XXIV. 

JULY  7,  18—. 

"  CHILDREN  and  fools  tell  the  truth." 

Such  was  the  case  of  Katie  Doane,  a  Miss  of 
fourteen  who  had  set  her  heart,  or  her  fancy,  on  a 
new  bonnet.  This  special  object  of  the  young  lady 
had  been  thwarted  by  her  elder  sister,  Miss  Agnes 
Doane.  "  Sister  Aggie "  had  been  in  society  two 
years,  and  was  still  without  an  establishment,  or 
the  secure  prospect  of  one.  Several  admirers  had 
been  fluttering  around ;  but  nothing  eligible  had  as 
yet  been  brought  to  the  sticking-point. 

"  Precisely  the  thing  "  has  made  his  appearance, 
and  is  to  be  secured  if  possible.  The  how,  is  the 
special  subject  under  consideration  in  the  family  at 
the  present  time. 

The  eligibility  is  a  son  of  one  of  the  "  first  fami- 
lies ; "  but  he  is  as  fastidious  in  his  taste,  and  as  cau- 
tious as  to  caste  and  qualifications  as  the  young  lady 
herself. 

Style  and  dress  are  the  desideratum  with  her  ;  but 
with  him  there  is  a  desideratum  of  the  desideratum 
to  be  considered,  —  the  means  to  attain  the  desid- 
eratum. She  is  thoughtless  of  that  consideration, 
never  having  had  any  care  of  providing  further  than 


196  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

the  desideratum.  She  is  ignorant  that  he  may  con- 
sider it  for  his  interest  to  make  himself  acquainted 
with  the  state  of  her  prospects  for  providing  herself 
with  the  desideratum.  She  is  too  young  and  unso- 
phisticated to  suspect  that  he  may  pay  sly  regard  to 
the  affairs  of  a  certain  venerable  individual  who  now 
has  that  prospective  consideration  in  charge. 

She  is  judging  of  him  by  herself,  not  always  a 
safe  standard  for  a  lady  to  judge  a  gentleman  by. 
Owing  to  the  different  motives  that  actuate  the  differ- 
ent sexes  in  seeking  marriage,  the  different  parts 
they  are  to  act,  or  play  as  the  case  may  be,  and  the 
different  circumstances  that  are  to  surround  them  in 
that  relation,  it  is  wiser  to  find  out  what  men  really 
do  think,  rather  than  take  it  for  granted  that  they 
think  as  a  woman  does.  It  may  safely  be  taken  for 
granted  that  men  do  not  think  as  women  do  in  the 
prospect  of  marriage.  And  it  may  as  safely  be 
taken  for  granted  that  both  parties  have  common 
sympathies  on  one  point  in  view  of  the  event.  Each 
contemplates  the  probable  advantage  to  accrue 
therefrom  to  his  or  her  individual  duality. 

According  to  Aggie's  judgment  of  the  ultimatum 
required  by  the  son  of  one  of  the  first  families,  she 
acted.  Dress  must  be  obtained  in  order  to  obtain 
him,  or  what  he  could  confer  upon  her.  She  had 
knowledge  enough  of  her  mother's  nature  to  under- 
stand what  manner  of  temper  to  exercise  in  order 
to  procure  the  forthcoming  of  the  desideratum. 

By  arbitrary  exactions,  she  compelled  her  mother 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  197 

• 

and  younger  sister  to  practice  the  beautiful  virtue  of 
self-abnegation  in  her  favor.  Katie  did  n't  at  all  rel- 
ish the  practice  of  self-denial  required  for  the  benefit 
of  her  elder  sister,  and  in  the  grief,  anger,  and  dis- 
appointment of  being  subjected  to  such  sacrifice,  she 
fulfilled  the  old  proverb  of  children  telling  the  truth. 

In  consequence  of  being  connected  with  that  dis- 
appointment I  became  her  confidante.  A  few  days 
ago  she  told  me  what  kind  of  a  bonnet  she  was  go- 
ing to  have  made,  and  I  had  reserved  the  materials 
for  it. 

With  choking  sobs  and  tears,  she  told  me  how  she 
was  to  be  disappointed. 

"  Is  n't  it  too  bad  Aggie  must  have  the  whole,  when 
I  only  want  such  a  little  part,  and  I  want  it  so  much. 
I  can't  tell  you  half  Aggie  has,  but  it  is  dozens  and 
dozens  of  dresses  and  bonnets,  and  I  only  want  this 
one.  Mother  says  she  must  have  it,  so  she  can  get 
married,  and  when  she  is  gone,  and  she  don't  have 
her  to  dress,  I  shall  have  it  all.  Only  think !  two 
years  I  've  had  to  go  without  any  thing,  and  I  don't 
see  as  she  is  any  nearer  getting  married  than  she 
was  when  she  first  came  out.  If  she  keeps  on  there 
won't  be  any  thing  left  for  me,  and  I  shall  have  to  get 
married  the  best  way  I  can,  without  any  dress." 

I  pitied  the  child,  and  tried  to  reconcile  her  to  the 
circumstances  she  was  placed  in.  I  asked  her,  — 

"  Don't  you  think  you  might  be  as  happy  without 
so  much  dress  as  Aggie  is  with  it  ?  " 

"  No,  indeed !  nobody  will  have  me  if  I  don't 
dress.  They  '11  all  think  father  is  poor." 


198  DIARY   OF  A  MILLINER. 

The  child  expressed  the  genuine  grief  that  wrung 
her  heart.  Were  her  ideas,  which  were  the  cause 
of  the  trouble,  indigenous  to  the  dual,  or  were  they 
the  imported  vegetation  of  education?  Is  human 
nature,  education,  or  the  child,  to  bear  the  blame  of 
her  grief?  She  doubtless  is  the  one  that  suffers  ;  but 
if  justice  was  meted  out  who  would  suffer  for  it  ?  and 
will  justice  ever  be  meted  out?  If  it  is  over  meted 
out,  when,  and  where,  and  how  will  it  be  done  ? 

I  tried  to  start  another  train  of  thoughts.  I  said, 
"  They  would  all  marry  you  for  your  money  then. 
How  would  you  like  that  ?  " 

"  I  'd  sooner  be  married  for  my  money  than  be  an 
old  maid !  Old  maids  are  detestable  ! " 

"  We  are  what  we  make  ourselves.  Don't  you 
think  it  possible  to  be  a  good  and  happy  old  maid  ?  " 

"  No,  indeed ! "  she  exclaimed  with  spirit ;  and 
she  went  on  rapidly  to  vindicate  her  opinion.  "  Ag- 
gie cried  all  night  last  night  because  she  was  n't 
married.  Father  came  home  from  Boston,  and 
told  her  a  gentleman  on  the  cars  asked  after  her, 
and  said  to  him,  "  I  suppose  she  was  married  long 
ago."  Father  said  he  was  ashamed  to  tell  him  she 
was  n't.  And  father  told  Aggie  he  thought  he  had 
done  his  part  towards  it.  He  had  spent  enormous 
sums  for  her  dress,  had  taken  her  round  to  a  great 
many  watering-places,  and  introduced  her  to  a  great 
many  gentlemen.  And  he  said  he  was  sorry  she 
could  n't  make  herself  attractive  enough  to  any  of 
them  to  make  them  wish  to  marry  her.  And  Aggie 


DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER.  199 

cried,  and  said  father  didn't  want  to  support  her, 
did  n't  love  her,  did  n't  want  her  at  home,  was 
ashamed  of  her ;  and  she  cried,  and  cried.  And 
mother  says  she  and  I  must  do  without  all  we  can 
this  summer,  so  Aggie  can  go  to  Newport,  and  see  if 
she  can't'  make  a  match,  so  father  won't  be  ashamed 
of  her.  I  believe  mother  is  just  as  much  ashamed  as 
father,  only  she  pities  Aggie.  I  '11  get  married  before 
they  have  a  chance  to  be  ashamed  of  me,  if  they  '11 
only  give  me  the  pretty  things  to  show  myself  in." 

O  mother  of  that  poor  child !  if  the  bare  outline 
of  such  a  human  picture  does  not  startle  you  from 
the  torpor  of  your  ignorance  of  the  way  to  direct 
the  spirits  which  you  have  introduced  to  life,  neither 
could  you  be  aroused  though  one  arose  from  the 
dead  to  remonstrate  with  you ! 

"With  such  ideas  of  the  marriage  relation  as  those 
two  girls  have  been  educated  in,  to  what  end  will 
their  whole  lives  be  shaped  ?  They  will  no  doubt  be 
married  —  married  ?  They  will  he  legally  united  to 
some  man,  and  the  union  will  prove  one  of  those  un- 
congenial matches,  which  end  in  unfortunate  family 
disagreements  ;  which  end  in  a  foretaste  of  the  tor- 
tures of  the  nether  world,  echoed  the  inner. 

If  there  is  a  position  in  this  life  where  actions  re- 
bound upon  the  spirit  to  kindle  the  burning  that  is 
never  quenched,  it  is  in  those  unholy  homes  where 
the  solitary  gather  themselves  in  families  through 
the  gratification  of  unholy  passions. 

The  parents  who  teach  children  to  shape  their 


200  DIARY  OF  A  MILLINER. 

course  to  such  ends,  dare  not  face  fashion  with 
another  practice ;  but  they  dare  face  God's  wrath, 
tribulation,  and  anguish,  —  the  eternal  burning  of 
ceaseless  regrets. 

The  records  of  trade  are  inexhaustible.  The  se- 
lection of  a  few  incidents  from  them  may  prove  as 
agreeable  and  useful  to  readers  as  a  more  extended 
recital.  Therefore  I  close  my  Diary. 


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